Anger over my Nonexistant Wedding

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agreed, absolutely.

it has also helped me with my weight loss. since i really started to love myself at every weight, it became easier to drop the pounds. weight gain and weight loss are complex and strongly tied to self-concept. when i hated myself before, i had no incentive to lose weight or keep weight off. now i work hard at improving my health (which for me means weight loss as i personally have weight-related health problems).

for some women, learning to love themselves may mean that they decide to stay fat, that isn't a problem if they are healthy. big women are beautiful and the confidence that comes from loving one's self is infectious and attractive.

back on-topic... personally, i get jealous when women are bridesmaids because i have never had a BFF or whatever who wanted to include me like that.

I was like that too for a while. My friend's getting married this summer, I was originally a bridesmaid but am now the maid of honor because the MOH went all psycho-bitch and quit being her friend. It was kind of sad. Being MOH is pretty much the same thing, only I stand closer to the bride and make sure everything goes according to plan and keeping the bride calm. I'm good at both of those things so hopefully the day will go well. I want to see my dress. I ordered it back in March and the bride is holding onto it and will give it to me after graduation. >.<

Now instead of being jealous of bridesmaids, I'm jealous of the bride. I watch wedding shows and all that stuff because I love seeing the designs of stuff so I can get an idea of what's out there so I can make the best wedding ever if I ever get that far. Seems really unlikely at this point though.

I'm on my second marriage...my first wedding? I wore sweats to the courthouse, went to Burger King afterwards and then to work By the way, that marriage sucked...hehe

2nd time around? We lived together 10yrs, had an 8yr old boy and I finally agreed to get married. We spent about 1,200K, had our wedding at a tiny restaurant (married with a Humanist officiant in the parking lot/deck) and had about 50 friends...I wore a 27USD dress...it was awesome...people still talk about how different and great was...

As far as weight, I used to be tiny...of course, I never thought so at the time...now I'm not so tiny, although still slim by some people's standards...but no tiny waist or great butt... and I have many guy friends whom I would've married in a heartbeat that married women much heavier than me 40-60lbs heavier than me...so, being skinny doesn't necessarily mean the guys like you...although it may seem that way...

PS - sometimes I wish I was single...although my DH is nice, honestly, I would still be single if I didn't have a son...

I feel an odd mixture of sadness and annoyance, that so many women on here think that love is all about their weight and finding some guy who likes a certain body type. My guy loves me just the way I am, twenty pounds overweight and all. Where is the manual that says that in order for a woman to be loved, that she has to weigh a certain amount, and be able to wear certain types of clothing? I would despise a man who demanded that I weigh a certain amount. Don't believe the hype out there, generated by those who stand to profit from it.