Saying 'I love you'

Page 2 of 2 [ 25 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2

aaarrrggghhh
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 17 May 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 67

18 May 2011, 9:51 am

I will say "I love you", but I rarely mean it. It's just one of those social conditioning things. I was taught to say it... to reciprocate. I guess that's very different that a lot of the posters.

crouton
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,207

18 May 2011, 12:18 pm

There's only one person to whom I can comfortably say 'I love you'. With everybody else, I'm overwhelmed with discomfort when I even consider saying it, and I feel as though I'm under a great deal of pressure when people say it to me.

I've had these reactions for as long as I can remember. I was aware of the significance of the message from quite a young age, and I think it might have been the sheer power of the words that made me uneasy...

Lerena
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 14 May 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 74

18 May 2011, 1:02 pm

To my parents, I say it just fine. To my lover, if I had one, it would be difficult to say. It's not that I don't love my boyfriend (when I have one). It's more like it's easier to type than say verbally. Plus, I like to put action behind my words. "I love you" doesn't say much. Yes, it gets the job done for a few minutes, but I like to really show my appreciation.

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

19 May 2011, 12:01 am

RainingRoses wrote:

My girlfriend says "I love you" ALL THE TIME! Every time she says hello or goodbye on the phone, or in person, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, at the end of every e-mail and text. At first I thought, TOO MUCH! But, then I realized something. She says "I love you" all the time because she does love me all the time. So, I make sure I return that sentiment just as often. And, somehow, she and I have never had a fight, argument, disagreement in 5 years together (3 years living together in a 400 sq. ft. apartment with 4 cats). It's actually hard to be angry with someone while you're telling her you love her! Maybe there's something to this? If you don't mean it, then of course it quickly becomes nauseating. But, if someone genuinely means it, then I'd say count your blessings...

this is a beautiful sentiment. it would never have occurred to me like that.

i don't have a problem saying "i love you" to a lover when i mean it, and i enjoy hearing it. i called "bullcrap" on a guy who said he loved me after a week of dating though. i bluntly said to him, "no you don't, you hardly know me." i think it wasn't very nice of me (i was only 16 years old). i feel a bit bad about that, but really i am pretty sure he wasn't in love.

i don't say it to my family very easily though, as we didn't grow up saying it. my daughter hears it from me every day.

_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105

mechanicalgirl39
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Apr 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,340

19 May 2011, 5:34 am

hyperlexian wrote:

RainingRoses wrote:

Nah I think you were right. I think he was just infatuated with you which is definitely not love.

_________________
'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)

OhNowIGetIt
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 193

20 May 2011, 1:20 pm

I don't feel uncomfortable saying "I love you" at all. Do it all the time. I only say what I mean as a constant part of my being. It is never just to "say it". It is never out of expectation.

Every day I tell my 4 kids over and over. Sometimes when I tell my 5yro son I love you he will say in a bored tone, "I know that Mom, you tell me every day". I'll never stop.

Mother always did say "action speaks louder than words" and I will show love as much or more than I say it. If someones actions don't line up with the words "I love you" then I just don't want to hear that noise!

Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

21 May 2011, 7:24 am

I don't have a SO, but when my mom says "I love you" to me I just answer "Okay." I'm not really comfortable with love as a verbal expression. I think it means so much more and should be conveyed through action instead.

_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

hartzofspace
Supporting Member

Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled

21 May 2011, 2:05 pm

I still find that I sort of cringe when somebody says that to me. Whenever I talk to a family member on the phone, they end the conversation with Love ya! Of course I feel that I must say it back, but despite my discomfort I do, because I don't want them to think that I am angry at them. My SO says it a lot. At first I asked him to stop, but over time I realized that I needed to hear it because it is so easy for me to misread him and think that he is angry with me when he is not, or that he is growing distant when he is just tired. So these words, while emotionally overloaded and capable of causing discomfort, can be very reassuring; especially when you love the person who is saying them.

_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner

catlover02
Velociraptor

Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 422
Location: Michigan

09 Jun 2011, 1:35 pm

I am a Christian and I tell other born again Christians that I love them all the time because I sincerely do love all born again Christians in the Lord.

Page 2 of 2 [ 25 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2

Jump to:

Saying 'I love you' Post Reply New Topic

Saying 'I love you'