Are there women who don't feel they fit...

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I am telling my daughters and son to have useful skills that are valued by the community. I will help pay for a degree in health science or technological science for instances, but will not pay one dime for a BA in communications, art, or history.

After they can support themselves so they dont have to depend on others for their livelihood, then they can get married..preferably to a man/woman that has skills and no addictions.

Basically, we help create our futures by our choices. We can choose a path that makes life more difficult or easier.

I could have ended up with option A: I was in love with my college sweetheart who took 10 years to graduate, doesnt know how to change the oil in his car, and would rather chill with the boys than crack a book or try to learn useful skills. He was at best, a moderate in both politics and religion... I am at best a conservative in both politics and religion. However, we always had fun together..we kinda fit together like puzzle pieces.

I chose option B and married him after 6 months (10 years ago): He can fix anything, cook anything, sew anything, sail anything, is a conservative in politics and maybe religion..still undecided about that.. HOWEVER, he can be verbally mean, and our communication in general is poor. He has little patience with me OR he is nice to me. Living with him has been, at times, an emotional roller coaster.

Looking back, between the two, option B is the winner because he is a do-er. I dont have to "do" the finances, take care of the cars, figure out our insurance, fix things, plan vacations. If I had to, I would do it, but I dont have to be the husnbad/father and the wife/mom of the house. He is also an excellent father.

Im digressing here. The only thing I have to complain about is his curt remarks to me. I never did mention option C.... never getting married in the first place and not having kids. But its too late for that. Option C would be my choice if my younger self would listen.. too late..

I look for: Long blond hair, blue eyes, good cook, loves kids.....

....hmmmm, wrong gender stereotype? oh well, what's new!
I like my man to be the sort that'll leave me to the DIY and won't get in the way of me fixing a car or washing machine - but can put his own clothes on to wash

And whilst I am actually being serious - I think what really matters to me is someone responsible, understanding and caring. I've also always picked men who can make up for some of my social ineptitude - not entirely unconscionably I've been thinking of inheritance lines and "mellowing" the traits in any offspring.

As to 'gold digging' well, I like to be financially independent - I could never be a kept woman; a financially independent man is a bonus.

I don't fit the average stereotype in male partner tastes. As a result, I've managed to obtain the perfect husband. Women in the school playground complain about their husbands - they do nothing around the house and I mean absolutely nothing, not even mowing the lawn, DIY or helping out with the kids. Then they say that people like me are lucky to have the man that we have. I'm not lucky, I just would not have chosen a man like theirs. My husband works and I'm a stay at home mum. He doesn't watch sport (in Scotland that means football) on TV or go out with his pals to the pub. He prefers to spend his free time with me and our daughter. He helps with housework, mows the lawn, sews, prepares breakfast and snacks and he deals with the household finances. He's also quite yummy.

Although I have no interest in dating men, I am by no means a "gold digger". I am a lesbian, and have always been the financially stable one in all relationships I have been in, although as of recently stable is definitely not the feeling for anything financial in my house. Loyalty and honesty are huge for me, as well as not being under appreciated.

Not all girls I know, even NTs for that matter, go out with someone just for the money. I would never do that, that is just wrong.

Oooooh ... this is one of those topics that really gets me going, especially when men automatically assume that all women are gold-diggers just after their money. In my case, through a fortuitous combination of my own efforts and stupendous good luck, I have more money of my own than 90% of the men I know, so for them or anyone else to make such assumptions is absurd.

Nonetheless, I have more than once had men say things like "you must have had one hell of a divorce lawyer", the assumption being that the only way a woman could have acquired a bank account is by fleecing her ex-husband. Grrr!

I go for character, intelligence, sense of humor and compassion in a man, period. The ability to generate a living is a by-product of those things, and some men are naturally more gifted at being a steward of money than others. Some men choose fields that generate high incomes, and others don't. I was once married to a high-earning spendthrift who always managed to be broke, but that was a result of his behavior (poor impulse control, self-medicating through conspicuous consumption, etc.), not because he was lazy or trying to bum off me. I have seen gold-digging women "land" such "prizes" in mates and in all the cases I've seen up close, the marriages are shams on both sides. A guy has to be willing to be "gold-dug," but it doesn't mean they don't respond in return...the guys I've seen are abusive in all sorts of ways. Money is NEVER free!

Wealth isn't important to me either. Hell, I'm a writer so I probably won't be making a fortune either. Although if we can make ends meet, that would help with the stress level a bit.

My nt friends who are still single seem to be obsessed with finding a man with a good job, money, good looks and good at sex.

I am happily married, none of those things were important to me.

I'm not a gold-digger, but when I get married, I would love to be a 1950's style house-wife. I would work until I had children, and then stay at home with the children. Women in my faith are encouraged to keep their education going once they are married and have had children just in case the husband dies, gets ill or walks out. I also believe in saving my money in case that happened as well... so I wouldnt be reliant on benefits...