Do you have the ability to fall in love?

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The ability to fall in love? I don't know.

I don't understand the "butterflies" thing; I have never experienced that.

I just happened to like my husband when I met him - I thought he was a nice guy, and I enjoyed spending time with him. 17 years later, I still think he's a nice guy and enjoy spending time with him and I wouldn't want my life to be without him now.

Is that love? I believe it is - I don't know, though, because I don't have any frame of reference. He is the only person I have ever "gone out" with.

I do get obsessed with things (both objects and activities) and people. That feels quite different and is definitely obsession, not what I would call love from my experience above.

Yes. I am in love with my husband, and we have been together for 9 years. At this point, if I weren't in love, I think I'd have noticed. But I never get bored of him, love having him around, love cuddling -- he's my best friend and so much more. And sometimes I still get a little shive up my spine when I look at him, even though it's not the fireworks I used to get just thinking about him -- my therapist told me that the initial "butterflies" are from a hormone our body secretes that makes us feel good. It's why things look so perfect at the beginning of a relationship, then seem harder later on when that hormone stops secreting.

I'm very good at distinguishing between love, obsession, and a crush. I've dated people I've just had crushes on. I knew I was not in love and was very open with the people about how I felt. I'm not one of those people who hears the words "I love you," and falls. I in fact once threatened to end a relationship with a guy who said, "I could fall in love with you so easily." I said if he did, it was over, because I did not feel the same and he'd wind up hurt. When my husband -- then my best friend -- first told me he was in love with me, I refused to speak to him for a while!

I'm obsessed with Brandon Routh! I know I'll never meet him and I don't really want to as I'm sure he's nothing like I imagine. However, I enjoy dreams and fantasies about him!

I've been in love 4 times in my life. Each relationship was meaningful. There was real love on both sides. All were committed, monogamous, and long-term. I never, ever say "I love you," first, though, no matter how much I feel it. I don't let "I love you" lure me into bed, either. I'm way too picky to fall for just words; there have to be actions to prove the person saying "I love you" means it.

Obviously, all of these are different from the sorts of love I feel for my family, my friends, or my dog!

Yes I do. But not often.

There are only a few men who I think I have ever really been in love with. Like deeply, passionately, want to know everything about them, and make them happy, in love. There's one man from a long time ago, who I still often think of.

There are others that I thought I was in love with, but I realised that I probably wasn't, as I was able to fall out of love with them very quickly. For example, if a person becomes abusive towards me then I will put on my shell and the love will go.

Yes, I think so. It's been years since I've been in love, but I am confident it'll happen again.

yeah same here except I don't consider this love, to me I frame it as an obession that often ends up killing me. As for being in love but not overly obsessed, I dont know. Ive never been. Ive dated guys here and there, had things that bordered on a relationship but in the end I wasnt really that into them. I've never been that far with a guy I was really into. There was 1 guy who is a good friend who I think could have a lot of relationship potential. After knowing him, my expectation for a guy just went up drastically. But I just graduated which is disappointing but I dont know if we would have ended up in a relationship anyways.

Yes, I think I have the ability to. For a while I thought maybe I didn't. People always say "when you're in love, you'll know", "when you meet the one, you'll just know" and so on. I can't say it's exclusively an aspie thing, but I never got that knowing feeling so I thought maybe I wasn't ever in love. I realized that maybe that was how it felt for those people, but that didn't mean I would necessarily feel like that. I take certain things pretty literally; there's no way for me to KNOW that kind of thing. Since I've let go of that it's been easier. I think I'm in love right now.

I have experienced love.

Never really felt attracted to guys - a good looking guy is nice on the eyes, but thats as far as it goes.. I don't feel sexually attracted to men at all (or women).

But I do feel a connection that I deem as love, I want to be with my (male) partner all the time, fiercely jealous of other girls that may try to be friends with him, enjoy spending time with him. I really care about him, and being a very selfish person, I find myself putting his needs in front of mine quite a lot of the time.

I do find other people of both genders attractive but not in a sexual or romantic way. I have had crushes on about five people (four of those were fictional characters... one was real... that was awkward...). I never wanted to go any further than staring at a picture of them though. The thought of kissing, hugging etc. just freaks me out!

Yes, I have the ability to fall in love, and have. I have differences in my attraction towards people, but am able to love.


However, what I can't do, is have superficial interest in someone. I don't get standard crushes, I only show any interest after I know someone well enough. I don't look at someone and see them as attractive, either male or female, only after I am attracted to them mentally, do I see any physical attraction (and then its "you're physically yourself, I like it").


I knew I was in love when I was meditating in class, was told to picture an outdoors scene associated with calm and he was there in my image.

I am a commitiphobic because of some very bad experiences. I think I only really loved one person...although had crushes, and obsessions over many.

But after an abusive 5 year relationship with a guy with borderline personality disorder and sexual addiction...I think I am just damaged when it comes to relationships.

I hope that one day that will change and I will find someone who can be patient enough to put up with my fears of commitment, but if that doesnt happen...I guess I will be a spinster...literally.

I don't understand the concept or the meaning of love or how to express love to the opposite sex. I have had boyfriends but they have dumped me for being not interested in the relationship and for not being lovey dovey touchy feel person or expressing how I felt. I have issues with people touching me the last boyfriend I had I nearly belted in the face when he went to hug me and give me a kiss and I dont like looking straight in peoples eyes because I get extremely uncomfortable and embarressed. I too am more interested in my interest and hobbie instead of being in love. I too have had crushes usually with famous people but I quickly get over the crush and concentrate on my hobbie or Interest. I feel that if I did have a boyfriend I would rather have a NT boyfriend than a Aspie boyfriend having a NT boyfriend brings stability in the relationship and they have a better understanding in the whole concept of boyfriend girlfriend relationships than an Aspie boyfriend dont get me wrong a Aspie boyfriend would fully understand you better and know about your symptoms better than NTs. Thats the reason that I havent had a boyfriend for over 8 years and I am perfectly happy being on my own.

I am capable of falling in love with a man but not showing it.

I do have the ability to love.

I have only had the butterflies one time in my life.

I love my husband and feel safe with him; but I don't understand the emotion very well at all. I like him probably more than I love him. I care about him and don't like it when we are separated. He completes me and I complete him. I feel like a strange weird whole that still doesn't fit in anywhere. (I'm sorry, I can't explain that emotion or experience any better.)

I love my children but that emotion is different than any other love emotion I have ever had. It is a stronger and very protective love feeling I suppose. It is almost animalistic raw, guarding over my treasure, ready to attack anyone or anything that injures them.

Then I have this other kind of love that doesn't want to hurt anyone else, because by doing so I also hurt myself.

I'm definitely capable of love, and capable of expressing it verbally and in writing, but I have no experience with anything physical so I don't know how I'd be with physical affection or if I'd even feel comfortable with it. Me talking to my boyfriend over MSN could be very different to me trying to interact with him in person, but we won't find out until one of us has enough money for a plane ticket. Neither of us has even been cuddled before so I imagine the first couple of days might be awkward when we finally get to meet.

I am asexual. I can love family and friends, but not romantic love, and I've never felt any sexual feelings whatsoever. I even tried masturbating as an experiment, rubbing my clitoris because I'd read most women like that, and it felt no different from touching any other body part.

When I was younger I would mistake nonsexual liking for boys for crushes, because I'd been told I was supposed to have crushes. I know a (non-autistic) lesbian who did the same thing, and also mistook crushes on girls for nonsexual liking. I'm pretty resentful of my school's sex ed program for confusing me - I'm not expecting them to know about asexuals, but they should've at least considered the possibility of gay kids. If they had I might've decided I was a lesbian because I prefer girls to boys. Or if they'd explained what sexual desire actually felt like, in enough detail that I could tell that wasn't what I was feeling...

When I started having very strong but strange feelings for my male best friend, it took me about a month to admit to myself that it was something other than best-friend love. When we broke up, I still had those feelings, and it took months for them to completely fade. I think that was love - it's hard to describe, it was the strongest thing I've felt, good at times but other times frightening, and then painful after the break-up. Still, I'm now feeling good about it, since this shows that I am able to feel this way.