Significant Others and "Touching"

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Ames76
Sea Gull

Joined: 22 Jun 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 246
Location: TN/KY border

14 Jan 2012, 7:52 pm

Before reading any farther, I want to tell you that I am the same way! If I'm busy or not expecting it, I tend to get really pissy. I do feel bad about it at times, but I don't know how to change it!

lovecholie wrote:

Do you hate being kissed or hugged or even talked to when you're not expecting it? For me, I hate the most when I'm in the middle of doing something. I always feel bad when I tell my SO, "I don't want that right now. Go away!" Then in a lame attempt to make up for it, I say, "Please!" I know it's rude, but I can't help it. It is akin to nails grating on a chalkboard when there is unwanted affection.

Anyone else with the same problem? Any advice?

Ames76
Sea Gull

Joined: 22 Jun 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 246
Location: TN/KY border

14 Jan 2012, 7:55 pm

This is why we have a California King size bed. For the most part, we are on our separate sides, I can't be touching while trying to sleep.

m3theatrix wrote:

I have the same problem. My NT husband is very affectionate, & it causes problems when we're trying to sleep. He wants to be all wrapped around me & I want to be left alone (I also get hot flashes easily, & that makes it worse). I usually end up on the very edge of the bed. I have a body pillow that I put between us sometimes & it helps.

dreamy
Blue Jay

Joined: 28 Mar 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 83

21 Jan 2012, 3:05 am

Yes, if I am busy, or just not in the mood.

Quick funny story - on a first date, the guy was being cuddly in a tight hugging way, and it was freaking me out. I'm pretty sure he did it because he thought all women want a cuddly guy. But I also find it funny because maybe he really wants that.

blueroses
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,196
Location: United States

21 Jan 2012, 7:04 pm

All of the SO's I've had have been more affectionate than me, including the guy I'm seeing now. Sometimes it makes me feel incredibly cold or like there's something horribly wrong with me for not wanting to be all over each other at all times.

Jaz1787
Sea Gull

Joined: 2 Nov 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 220
Location: Australia

08 Mar 2012, 10:14 pm

Most of the time it's not an issue

but sometimes i'm super ticklish and sometimes i cannot bare him to kiss me on my mouth. he doesn't mind the ticklish thing (thinks it's funny the cruel bastard :lol: ) and usually i can wriggle out of the kissing thing without offending him

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skenasis
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 11 Aug 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 183
Location: Geelong, Australia

09 Mar 2012, 5:47 am

YellowBanana wrote:

I *love* cuddling my husband. But it has to be on my terms, otherwise there's a definite chance of me being irritated by it.

I also have problems with him sitting too close, if it is not my choice and also sometimes with the sound of his breathing (try telling someone the sound of their breathing is driving you nuts ... there is no polite way!! !)

I'm exactly the same. I absolutely adore cuddling my partner, but it has to be on my terms. And not so much the sound, but the feel of his breath on my neck/back when we're trying to sleep. I hate feeling any sort of breeze on my skin, and his breath definitely counts!

pokerface
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Apr 2011
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 921
Location: The Netherlands

09 Mar 2012, 11:35 am

People can shake my hand but don't give me the obligatory three pecks on the cheek because that disgusts me more than anything!

Pook
Deinonychus

Joined: 6 Aug 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 377

09 Mar 2012, 2:50 pm

Jaz1787 wrote:

) and usually i can wriggle out of the kissing thing without offending him

Im ticklish too and it either drives my husband crazy or he laughs at it. I mean really what can you do anyway?

lostgirl1986
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Feb 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,418
Location: Ontario, Canada

09 Mar 2012, 2:53 pm

I don't like going overboard. A hug or a kiss now and again isn't bad but I'm not the overly cuddly type. I don't really like PDA either.

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