"You'd be so pretty if you tried."

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Yes, just thank them and forget about it!

I look at it this way--some folks work really hard to learn about fashion and wish to share their hard learned knowledge with others--so just be gracious about it and move on. With most NTs, if you don't make a fuss about it, they will promptly forget about it.

Just move along, nothing really happened.

I never learned to do my hair. When I was younger, I had really thick hair. So thick that it would take 45 minutes to blow it dry. So I never bothered. I'd wash it and let it dry naturally. I have sensory issues with styling products (and especially conditioner), and I hate going somewhere fancy to get my hair cut and having to explain to yet another stylist why I don't style my hair. It flabbergasts me that not only do people spend 45 mintues-1 hour on their hair each and every day, but that the general consensus is that every woman *should*.

Don't get me wrong, I make a modicum of effort. I'll wear makeup (and that took a long time getting used to, and my eyes STILL itch from mascara), but it will take me under five minutes to apply. If I'm going somewhere special, I may up that to 10 minutes. I'll even attempt to do something with my hair (I've given in to hairspray on occasion) but my hair is still a little thick to hold a style. I color my hair because I look washed out with gray hair (I have olive-toned skin) but I'm allergic to PPD so I can't even get that done at a salon.

All in all, I resent each and every second I'm expected to spend on grooming, and I really resent the assumption that I don't respect myself if I don't groom to others' standards. I don't trim my ladyparts (fortunately I color inside the lines there), and I mostly shave my armpits for cleanliness, not because I'm afraid not to conform to a standard.

I have the same problem. My mother has tortured me with pleas to cut my hair (into a "style" which I hate - I prefer plain long hair) and wear make-up. She has even said to me, "You don't wear a lot of make-up" in a conversation about why my now-husband boyfriend hadn't proposed yet. It's infuriating! On my wedding day, she was so upset that I forgot my contact lenses and had to wear my glasses.

Sometimes, I have to admit, I think that I should care more. Just because I always look a mess in photos- while my sister and other girl cousins look impeccable. And it gets me down at times. It's just too much work. I care more about learning new things and cultivating creative hobbies, but most people don't get that.

But the thing is, I do think I have a reasonable sense of style. I spend a good bit of money on quality clothing - even though they're practical and not mainstream trendy.

My biggest fear is that my mother is going to be hard on my future daughter (I'm pregnant). I also don't want my girl to be too beautiful that she's popular and vapid.

I'm always clean and tidy and I like my hair to be neat (because it's really curly and can make me look scary if left to its own devices). I wear some concealer to cover my blemishes, but that's all. I don't feel the need to do any more. And my daughter goes crazy with me in the morning, when I'm trying to comb her hair. She's extra sensitive to tug-pulling and will say, 'Life's not about looking good, it's about living', (she'll be 6 next week).

But, I'm going to a burlesque party next week. I'll be going all out to make an effort. I expect to get noticed, because when I do something like this, I don't do it by halves. I even had a proper corset fitting and I'm practising wearing it. It's strange, but it's not the same as how I would feel if I was wearing make-up and a nice outfit, for some other occasion. This is almost like a performance, like when I got dressed up for Rocky Horror. It's obviously fake and there's no way to conceal it, which is acceptable to me. The daily routines that most other women have are just part of the way they live their lives; that's not for me.

I think it's rooted in the cultural assumption that a woman's primary goal in life is to be "pretty."

Fortunately, despite my vagina, I'm capable of deriving self-esteem from somewhere other than my "looks."

Boy have I gotten this one a lot and totally relate. Strange fact is the only people who've told me this are women. They say if only I wore gobs of makeup to cover up my acne ... got contacts instead of glasses ... wore my hair down instead of up ... wore what's "in" instead of whatever the hell I want ... you get the idea. I'm never going to fit their ideal. They think by the time I decide that taking up these behaviors are necessary I'll get too old to be pretty anyhow. (Pff.) The concern trolling they've given me drives me bonkers.

[quote="Mummy_of_Peanut"]But, I'm going to a burlesque party next week. I'll be going all out to make an effort. I expect to get noticed, because when I do something like this, I don't do it by halves. I even had a proper corset fitting and I'm practising wearing it. It's strange, but it's not the same as how I would feel if I was wearing make-up and a nice outfit, for some other occasion. This is almost like a performance, like when I got dressed up for Rocky Horror. It's obviously fake and there's no way to conceal it, which is acceptable to me. The daily routines that most other women have are just part of the way they live their lives; that's not for me.[/quote

I agree with this, I love dressing up...but in a costume type way for an occasion, like above. Otherwise it's usually jeans, vest top and zip-up hoodie the whole way!

My glasses are a part of me. I hate contacts. The hassle combined with the risk of infection isn't worth the "pretty."

I get it all the time.

I think they're jealous.

My jeans and T-shirts look RIGHT on me, in a way that close-fitting and stylish clothes never will.

My glasses never fold up under my eyelid or roll around the back of my eyeballs. And they give character to my flat face.

Makeup would hide my pretty freckles.

I'll get rid of my ponytail/coolie braid when Hell freezes over.

I AM pretty.

I get this sometimes and it's either annoying or embarrassing. I'm fine with being comfortable. The only person I would try to look nice for would be a boyfriend and even then I wouldn't go as far to be someone I'm not.