Do any of you have kids? (other questions too)

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I have no children, nor ever wanted them. My husband is OCD, not AS. He's more extroverted than I am, but is still very quiet, intellectual and has no interest in children either. I like to think our different personalities compliment each other.

I have four kids, three girls ages 16, 12, 10, and my boy, 5. My 12 year old was dx'd with AS two years ago.

I've noticed that the older I get (or maybe it's the older THEY get), the harder it is to deal with child rearing. I've been having more and more bad days in the last two years or so, am having trouble with organization (I used to be fanatic about schedules, which really does make things run more smoothly), coping with the every day drama, and have been feeling extremely incompetent.

Hi, this is my first post and I am ecstatic to make it in the woman's forum...

I have one kid. He is 18 and in college now and he most likely has AS--he's shown all the signs from a young age. He is one great kid.

Somehow, even though when he was young I didn't understand what was going on with me, I could see that he was struggling with similar anxiety and obsessive behaviors I did as a kid, behaviors I didn't cope with very well. So, although I wasn't handling my case well, I was able to let him know that it's okay to be this way, which in turn helped me tell myself the same thing.

I had a MAJOR anxiety attack in October 2002, brought on by being misprescribed Paxil, and I lost my job. Thats' when I started working on myself. My husband died in December 2001, and the GP gave me Paxil the week before--no diagnosis, no nothin, he just goes, "Here, take these," and I did.

Anyway, when I really lost it, I felt like I had to do something because I had this 13 year old with no father and no job and no money and all I could think of was that it was all my fault.

To make a long story short, I ended up meeting someone, a mentor, who taught me some anxiety coping skills. She helped me retrain my thinking so I can at least stop now and think about what steps I can take to take care of myself before I go into hyperpanic or freeze mode. And, once I realized the panic attack was mainly CAUSED by Paxil, I was able to wean myself off of it. A huge plus from all this is that I feel better than I ever have--I am still anxiety prone and obsessive, but I don't feel as weighted down and the feeling of being depressed simply comes and goes from time to time.

I truly believe that having this child saved my life because my natural anxiety made me focus on how to help him, which ultimately has caused me to look for ways to try to help myself. Our day to day life is not easy, what with our obsessions and anxieties intermixing on a daily basis (not to mention conflicting stim episodes LOL), and, things have been pretty rough since my very difficult mother came to live here, but all in all, the life I have now--knowing that I will always need to cope with this thing and that's fine--is way better than before I realized there are people out there like me. Thanks.

Having my son helped me a lot as well. I felt I needed to learn how to deal w/ things for his sake. I was a single mom w/ my oldest. I got married to my dh when he was 3.

I'm 46 and I have 6 sons, ages 24-23-22-19-18-16. My oldest was dianogsed with just being "socially disabled". My 16 year old has Autism- I have to help him with most everything.
All my other sons have no known problems and they get along well socially.

I don't have kids,but I plan to either adopt or get a few through artificial insemination...that is my partner does not want to be the birth mother,instead.


-SpaceCase

I'm 47 and have kids 10 and 12. I did not want kids until I was around 30, when I started to feel more capable to dealing with the "real world." In retrospect, I had developed better coping strategies by that time. Also, I have a saintly dh without whom I could not have kids, and I mean more than just the obvious My 12yo might be slightly aspie, but hard to say. I don't want to label him, but isn't that dumb, I am so glad to finally have a label for what has plagued me all these years, so why deny that to him ... ? I don't know where to head with that thought. The 10yo is definitely NOT aspie -- she is a girly girl NT all the way. Boy am I burning off karma here But I am glad to have my kids, even with the extra stress. They are joy.

Hamster, I, too, have felt things sliding in the last year or so. I have been attributing it to having moved cross-country last year, but maybe there's an age (perimenopause) factor involved? Bummer.

My uterus and I abide by a strict "No Kids" policy.

Me too. Feeling imcompetent and guilty. I have two NT daughters aged 16 and 17. The 16 year old lives in another state with her dad, which makes me sad but there is nothing I can do about it. She is old enough to choose with whom she wants to live. My 17 year old is about to graduate high school and move out, so I will soon have no kids in the house. But being a mother is forever. Doing it with AS is a huge challenge. Indescribably difficult.

I have 2 kids. Vlad is 4, and Lucy is 2.

I think Vlad might be AS, but he doesn't have an official diagnosis yet. In reading up on Asperger's, I realized the probability that I have it too, which has been a relief. It explains a lot about my life, and knowing that I managed okay gives me confidence that Vlad will manage too.

Lucy is NT. She's very friendly and caring. The weird thing is that she'll frequently take care of him- telling him to sit down, or helping him put his socks and shoes on, as if she's the older/more responsible sibling.

I have two. One is completely NT and the other I suspect may have ADD and maybe AS.

My father may have been AS, seems likely.

I have 4 kids. Spencer is 16, academically, gifted and has AS. Taylor (boy) is 14, is NT with a LOT of quirks but extremely social. Tanner is 13, has a non-verbal learning disability and AS. Annie is 6 and like me has ADD and a lot of AS- like characteristics. I just found this all out within the last six months. My children are really well behaved and I get compliments about them but they drive me crazy by about 7:00 pm everyday. At times they get to me so much that I develop a stutter and that is not good around three teenage boys. My husband also has AS so as much as he tries, he isn't the most helpful man around. In fact, I may be the only wife I know that sends her husband out golfing or fishing just so he's out of the house. The wives of my husband's friends don't like me much!! !

Hi momhere.

I have AS and am a mom to a 7 y.o. NT, a 5 y.o. HFA, and 2 1/2 y.o. NT.
To learn more about me and my family check out my profile at http://www.cafemom.com/home/pandemicpsyche and Feel free to add me if you are on there too.
Most days I feel like I am so much greater than most moms I have known.
Some days I feel like I never should have brought my kids into this.
It just really depends on my day, my mood, ect. Ultimately I think that having 3 kids for anyone is a challenge and maybe for me it's a little bit extra of a challenge but in the end I think I'm still doing a pretty good job. It's never easy but I don't suppose parenting ever is.

I am an officially diagnosed Aspie. I have seven kids! Here they are:

biological daughter, age 15, Aspie
adopted daughter, age 13, bipolar, LD, possibly Aspie (getting an Eval)
biological daughter, age 11, social non-aspie
adopted son, age 9, fetal alcohol spectrum disorder
biological son, age 7, Aspie
biological son, age 4, Aspie
adopted daughter, age 3, fetal alcohol spectrum disorder

I don't think of them as biological vs. adopted kids. I am just writing that so you can tell who is who. Plus I didn't drink during pregnancy and therefore couldn't produce a child with fetal alcohol issues.
Is it hard having so many kids? YES. I didn't know when I had these kids that I was an Aspie. I had them all already when the kiddos were finally diagnosed (although we obviously had concerns early on). I think I lived in another universe before I was diagnosed. The hardest kids for me to deal with are the kids with fetal alcohol issues. It is the exact opposite of AS and there is not one thing logical about what they do! Would I have had so many kids if I had known about my diagnosis? NO. But I adore every one of them! It is incredibly hard work, but my husband and I love our family!