Some men think all women like Dominant men

Post Reply New Topic

i don't really know what it means, to be honest

Personally, I see each trait as being two sided. It can have a positive expression or a negative one, and you have to look at which one is predominate.

E.g. someone who is impulsive may be considered reckless in one situation, but also be considered bold in another situation. (and here you can see why "bold" does not necessary mean confident, it can but not always)

Or like someone who is intelligent. Sometimes too much intelligence can cause just as many problems as it solves, it just tends to be in different areas.

I see the same thing with dominance, some people are just more naturally inclined to be that way and it just depends on whether the majority of the expression of that trait is in a positive or negative manner.

I largely see the positive side of dominance as leadership / dominance / decision making.

He may make the decisions but you have the choice to follow what he has chosen. The best leaders do not "force" their leadership on others, others choose to follow them. Someone who is following always has the option to refuse to follow. With that leadership also comes a certain amount of responsibility as well.

For someone like me who is naturally indecisive, it is extremely helpful and attractive to have someone to take the lead and make decisions. It's not that I can't make decisions, or that I can't lead. It just becomes tiring doing it all the time (in work and all the other areas of my life) and I don't want to have to worry about that sort of thing when I am dating a guy. When I am dating a guy I have enough decisions to make, after the date, I don't want to be worrying about the ones I have to make on the date at the time too.

I would not date a guy who had dominance predominately expressed in the negative way. It is not something I would allow or follow. I don't like people who are too controlling or force their decisions on me when i have already objected to them (which is what I would consider the negative expression to be).

When I say I like dominant men, I mean I like those who have the positive expression of the trait.

Dominant men would never date me.

End of story.

It does seem to be overwhelmingly common. I don't refer to dominant necessarily as negative and domineering - it can be, and most typically is, just in the sense of taking the initiative. The vast majority of women appear to require this in a partner, to greater or lesser degrees, though not necessarily for all occasions. Sometimes just for certain activities.

But even that's not universal.

I think it's ok. I don't really have this trait naturally (of course anyone can learn to take initiative, but it being part of one's nature is different), so for my own sake, I wish exceptions were more commonplace. But I don't fault women (individually or collectively) for it. How could I, without being a hypocrite?

I like how my husband takes care of me and the finances but I wouldn't say he is dominant because I still have my choices and my decisions.


But I felt my last one was dominant because I felt he was controlling and even though he was not physical about it, I felt it he did it emotionally by making me feel bad, so bad I would do what he wants so he be happy. But once he would find out I was doing it to make him happy, he would then tell me not do to it then because he didn't want to be a control freak.

I think this can mean many, many different and conflicting things.

Is Dominant meant in the BDSM sense or not?

I think the reason some women are drawn to dominant men is because they want to be handled. They want every decision to be made for them because they are either too frightened or too indecisive to do so on their own. Others, a very few, might want to have a stonger willed man so that they feel they are never to blame for what happens to them because their dominant other was the one to make the decision.
Some just like to be helpless and to be taken care of. As simple as that.
I like to think I would never wind up with someone who would dominate me. I need to be able to make my own choices and to be treated as an equal in all things. Otherwise, all I would be is a puppet and then I would stop thinking for myself and fade away.

I don't think women necessarily want a man that's outright dominant. But from what I've heard from other female friends, they seem to want someone who protects them, provides for them and takes care of them. One friend told me she likes big guys. I personally don't want a guy who's outright "dominant". In a way, I think I could go either way as in I could be the slightly more dominant one or I could be the slightly more submissive one in the relationship or ideally it could be balanced. When you guys are thinking dominant, you seem to think of outright controlling. In a sense, the ideal of women wanting a guy whos big and macho with huge muscles does not make sense to me at all. I hate overly muscular guys.

I think most women do like "Dominant" men. Not all, but IMO at least 75% of hetero/bi women.

IMO Aspie women are much more independent and logical, and less likely to like Dominant men. I would say it's flipped, well under 25% like them.

Yes it depends on your definition.

Women are normally biologically wired to want a caretaker, protector, provider for their children and themselves. I think hormones influence their choice? Women are usually wanting a guy with strong healthy athletic genes and testosterone, to pass on those traits to their children. A man who could physically defend the family from other men or animals and who could go and hunt and build them shelter. Beyond that, I think many women still want the guy to take charge in bed, and give her a clear role to fill. IMO even if the man is "Dominant", he can still let her make decisions in some areas, still treat her well, and value her opinions, and consider her intelligent.

I know many Aspie women don't want children or don't want sex.

I wish more women would be dominant themselves, or at least set themselves up more as equals. Being aggressive or dominant or having to hunt or protect or any of that - having those expectations put on me doesn't give me much a fair chance as none of that has ever come naturally to me. At times when I have tried to deliberately be your typical "alpha male" all I could think of was that I was being a huge douche and that I'd never treat anyone like that regardless. I don't see why it's acceptable behavior.

Every woman in my family are very dominant strong indepenent women. Some of them do the types of jobs men do like welding fixing cars ect. I know a lot of guys that are intimidated by the women in my family because they will knock your lights out if you cross them. And yes they are Feminists just like me.