"Nurturing Instincts" and Women

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Are you a nurturer?

I am a neurotypical woman, and I am a born nurturer.	1%	[ 1 ]
I am a neurotypical woman, and I sometimes feel nurturing.	0%	[ 0 ]
I am a neurotypical woman, and I am NOT a nurturer.	3%	[ 2 ]
I am a woman on the autistic spectrum, and I am a born nurturer.	13%	[ 9 ]
I am a woman on the autistic spectrum, and I sometimes feel nurturing.	48%	[ 34 ]
I am a woman on the autistic spectrum, and I am NOT a nurturer.	35%	[ 25 ]

Total votes : 71

Cracked
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21 Oct 2012, 4:00 pm

emimeni wrote:

Cracked wrote:

If you want kids, and you think you'd be nurturing enough to give them a good upbringing, then go for it!*

Edit: *Unless, of course, your partner/spouse does the nurturing for you. I know a family in which the father is the nurturer and the mother is the disciplinarian, and, while this may seem odd to proponents of the traditional American household, it works for them--and their children turned out just fine.

I don't think I am able to parent kids. I can barely clean up my apartment. :roll:

Ha! I can relate. :lol:

laserwater wrote:

I'm not sure how to answer the poll since I am unsure if I am on the spectrum or not.
Not NT though I guess since I have SPD, but I am not nurturing whatsoever.
I am empathic or w/e the word, though. I just have no interest in taking care of others whatsoever.

Ah, I didn't think to add an option for those who aren't sure if they're autistic or not...my apologies. If you haven't voted already, and you're sure you're not neurotypical, then go ahead and vote as somebody on the autistic spectrum.

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Galymia
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21 Oct 2012, 9:03 pm

I'm on the spectrum and I'm not a nurturer. I can nurture my husband, but that's it. When our daughter lived with us, he did the nurturing to her.

laserwater
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21 Oct 2012, 11:48 pm

Cracked wrote:

laserwater wrote:

It's alright. I submitted my vote then

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0utsideLookingIn
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22 Oct 2012, 1:42 pm

I'm not a natural nurturer even though I do love my husband and daughter. Unless it's really obvious what they need (or the tell me) I'm clueless. I am, however, good at fixing problems and they seem to appreciate that.

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Cracked
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22 Oct 2012, 6:07 pm

Thank you all for your votes/replies so far! I'm honestly very surprised that there are so few women here at WP (who have visited this thread) who see themselves as consistently nurturing...it's very intriguing.

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0utsideLookingIn
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23 Oct 2012, 9:31 am

Quote:

I'm honestly very surprised that there are so few women here at WP (who have visited this thread) who see themselves as consistently nurturing...it's very intriguing.

I'm curious about why you're surprised?

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Ai_Ling
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23 Oct 2012, 3:07 pm

Im about the furthest from being a nuturer. I would guess in many ways women learn to be nurturers but then I also wonder if aspie women just aren't that keen on traits like that. When someone needs nurturing, I often dont know what to do. I can help people in a practical sense like bringing them things, giving advice, doing things for them but as for giving emotional support...nope. I cant nurture to save my life. When it comes to kids, I just let them do there own thing.

Kjas
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23 Oct 2012, 5:03 pm

Cracked wrote:

It's really dependent.

I am with people close to me, kids and animals.

But adult strangers or acquaintances I do not do the small daily stuff with.

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Who_Am_I
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23 Oct 2012, 7:45 pm

0utsideLookingIn wrote:

Quote:

I'm honestly very surprised that there are so few women here at WP (who have visited this thread) who see themselves as consistently nurturing...it's very intriguing.

I'm curious about why you're surprised?

Me too.

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Jacky
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24 Oct 2012, 12:06 pm

Not a nurturer by nature if it comes to humans. Can't see an animal suffer though. Can't see humans suffer either, but I don't really know how to handle the emotional part, just the practical issues.

Skilpadde
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24 Oct 2012, 5:02 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:

On the spectrum, and NOT a nurturer.
My first instinct when I see someone in need of comfort is to run and hide.
Unless it's a dog or other small furry animal. I can nurture those.

exactly the same for me (except the animal needn't be furry for me; I love turtles more than anything else). Based on the OP I assumed the poll was about people though, so on the spectrum and NOT a nurturer here.

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Cracked
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24 Oct 2012, 6:35 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:

0utsideLookingIn wrote:

Quote:

I'm honestly very surprised that there are so few women here at WP (who have visited this thread) who see themselves as consistently nurturing...it's very intriguing.

I'm curious about why you're surprised?

Me too.

I don't know any other women with a confirmed diagnosis on the autistic spectrum, and I haven't read much about Asperger Syndrome, so I wasn't expecting a huge difference between the nurturing tendencies of NT women and women on the autistic spectrum. Now, I know I'm not consistently nurturing, but that's all I knew for sure prior to creating this poll.

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Kjas
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24 Oct 2012, 7:28 pm

Cracked wrote:

I think you need to do some reading on Aspergers if that is the case.

Often it's not the fact that we "aren't", "don't", "won't" or "can't" do something like we are told so much of the time, and that is presented in the official literature on the subject by professionals - usually it is a matter that we tend to do it in a completely different way than normal - a way that is not recongised or acknowledged by NT's.

They label us with this condition because they cannot relate to us or empathize with us. Nobody labels NT's with a condition in a negative manner because they are the majority - despite they have no ablity to empathize or relate to us (the same thing they accuse us of). It is only because we are a minority that we are pathologized for how we are.

You may find that rather than being nurturing consistently to everyone in general like NT women are (which is how everyone defines nurturing, because it is the NT definition), that AS women instead to to get very attached to and nurture a toy (if we are still a child), an particular animal or a particular person to a much more intense level than is usual, and with everyone else, we nurture in a practicial way usually, as opposed to emotional.

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ShamelessGit
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24 Oct 2012, 10:32 pm

I knew a woman once who said that a lot of people think they are caring because they care for their kids, but that doesn't really count because even animals do that.

Cracked
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25 Oct 2012, 12:36 am

Kjas wrote:

Cracked wrote:

Thanks for the insight, and I do know that I need to read up on Asperger Syndrome some more...in fact, I have a book coming in the mail that's about AS (specifically, women with AS), so I should be more informed on the subject before too long.

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Skilpadde
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27 Oct 2012, 2:24 pm

Kjas wrote:

Often it's not the fact that we "aren't", "don't", "won't" or "can't" do something like we are told so much of the time, and that is presented in the official literature on the subject by professionals - usually it is a matter that we tend to do it in a completely different way than normal - a way that is not recongised or acknowledged by NT's.

They label us with this condition because they cannot relate to us or empathize with us. Nobody labels NT's with a condition in a negative manner because they are the majority - despite they have no ablity to empathize or relate to us (the same thing they accuse us of). It is only because we are a minority that we are pathologized for how we are.

*applauds* very well put, Kjas!

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