I think I figured out Women!

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....I just want to give hugs and not be hated or judged and love others but that is hard to come by these days! I am too much of a softy inside!

Y'know what? I don't like other people labelling me. I don't want to call myself a feminist anymore because, frankly, I hate the victim mentality and chip on the shoulder that third wave feminists seem to have. I hate that feminists in the west focus on minutia, such as a "rapey" song by some talentless hack that everyone would have forgotten if everyone just shut up about it.

I hate that whenever a woman succeeds in something or is exceptional, many feminists will act like they contributed to that person's success. I'm told by feminists that I should be grateful to have the right to vote, ffs! Should I be grateful because I'm not a slave as well? Wtf?

I hate that feminists these days are way more concerned with their image rather than, y'know, activism. Instead of trying to convince me I''m a feminist, maybe more self proclaimed feminists should stop reading the Scum Manifesto and instead volunteer at a women's shelter or, y'know, something constructive. I'm sick of the Anita Sarkeesian's of the world who complain about the problem but don't play a role in how to actually fix it.

I'm sick of so called "academic feminists" and their sh***y, fallacious research. I'm tiredof feminism being this sacred cow that you must not question and I'm tired of my fellow students dogmatically clinging onto this ideology without even the faintest level of critical thinking. I think there's a culture within feminism that acts like a high school clique and if you mess with the queen bee, you get stung. And if you disagree and you're a woman, they will say you have internalized misogyny and call your "privileges " into question. When I was a sex positive feminist, I was slut shamed by radical feminists and told that I had no self worth. Pretty brutal.

If you must call me a feminist, then fine - I'm a disillusioned feminist.
And, no - I'm not an MRA either.

I think that many older feminists no longer fit in with what it is today, so I may agree with what you are saying about being disillusioned .But there a lot of women who don't fit in with it either because of their race(s) or beliefs, & I don't exclusively mean 'faith'. It can also mean life experiences.
I'm not going to let go of being a feminist though, just because I don't necessarily fit into what it is today. I earned my stripes years ago, & none of these people are in a position to kick me out, or remove me from some imaginary list.
It has gotten too Glee Club-ish, in many ways. (everyone singing the right song, in the same key, @ the correct tempo.) But you know, Life will straighten these people out. Sooner or later, they will find that one size Doesn't fit all.
In the mean time, I'm just doin' ma thang, coping with stuff as best I can without resorting to a formula to tell me how to be, & how to react. Which was exactly what was the most important part of feminism, when it all started. CHOICES made by the individual, not dogma made in committee.
Your choices, my choices, are all valid choices because as intelligent human beings we had made them for ourselves.
I don't even read much if any newish feminist stuff because, I can try to tell them why I can't agree, but you can't even get that across to some of them because they are living in a bubble. A nice safe bubble.

I think some men will never "get" women. It's like their born with the inate ability to never understand and they're cursed with it for life.

I figured it out long ago, there is no secret about women to figure out for no two women are alike, their minds cannot be read either so no point, also just like men each woman has a different personality when a man is spending too much time trying to figure women out its totally pointless as stated earlier when he needs to figure himself out once he does that he can be at ease, and not be insecure, there is no secret to learn you got to be one with yourself and not be a jerk. Thats my take on it I probably sound stupid saying that but thats my take on it.