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calling a woman,''beautiful''

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NinsMom
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17 Mar 2014, 10:55 pm

@OP
I don't think you should ever start a conversation with a stranger with something as personal as that. Something neutral is better. It makes it seem like you have been 'checking her out"..
I don't know the circumstances, but comment on something she bought, ("Do you like that........... product?") or something obvious, but not too personal.



khaoz
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17 Mar 2014, 11:04 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
khaoz wrote:
." My ex was not the least bit good looking at all." I cannot even believe you just said that to someone? You are more clueless about women than I am, and that's saying something. I just needed to say that.

Why? It's true and everyone male or female told me it is well. I wasn't with her because of her physical looks. Whats wrong with stating that fact? I thought that would be a good thing since I am not like most men.


SMH, SMH, SMH



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17 Mar 2014, 11:27 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
khaoz wrote:
." My ex was not the least bit good looking at all." I cannot even believe you just said that to someone? You are more clueless about women than I am, and that's saying something. I just needed to say that.

Why? It's true and everyone male or female told me it is well. I wasn't with her because of her physical looks. Whats wrong with stating that fact? I thought that would be a good thing since I am not like most men.


anyone who made is a MASSIVE point to tell me they don't date for looks, I don't date again - they are calling me as ugly as a Troll effectively.

I date for personality myself, but I never tell anyone "I am not with you for your looks" - that is hurtful - just keep pointing out their good points - and no matter what you really think, if you are seeing someone, tell her she is beautiful to you.


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billiscool
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17 Mar 2014, 11:31 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Why? It's true and everyone male or female told me it is well. I wasn't with her because of her physical looks. Whats wrong with stating that fact? I thought that would be a good thing since I am not like most men.


what's funny,unattractive women get mad if you call them
''beautiful''.I don't know why.



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17 Mar 2014, 11:38 pm

billiscool wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Why? It's true and everyone male or female told me it is well. I wasn't with her because of her physical looks. Whats wrong with stating that fact? I thought that would be a good thing since I am not like most men.


what's funny,unattractive women get mad if you call them
''beautiful''.I don't know why.


You guys are cracking me up.



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18 Mar 2014, 12:10 am

khaoz wrote:

You guys are cracking me up.


well,I don't get it,shouldn't an unattractive
woman be happy,if you call them beautiful.



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18 Mar 2014, 12:20 am

billiscool wrote:
khaoz wrote:

You guys are cracking me up.


well,I don't get it,shouldn't an unattractive
woman be happy,if you call them beautiful.


Are you gonna throw her a biscuit too? I don't want to be the one to tell you that you are seeming obtuse, but I don't see any one else jumping forward.



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18 Mar 2014, 12:37 am

It could be worse he could just call them ugly or fat and ugly but that would be shallow!


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18 Mar 2014, 7:37 am

GivePeaceAChance wrote:
I date for personality myself, but I never tell anyone "I am not with you for your looks" - that is hurtful - just keep pointing out their good points - and no matter what you really think, if you are seeing someone, tell her she is beautiful to you.

Well I am not THAT clueless I never told her that and was always positive, like complimenting her about how beautiful her smile was (as rare as I saw it). I am just stating a fact and pointing out I seem to be in a double bind. Cant say a girl is beautiful without offending her but cant be honest either. I want to be a man that respects women but I honestly dont have a clue how. I wouldn't say I DON'T date for looks but I tend to be more like a female and look for the deeper qualities above everything else.

Sorry for highjacking the thread especially in the Women's section but this has sorta become my special interest and I am genuinely curious.



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18 Mar 2014, 7:48 am

billiscool wrote:
khaoz wrote:

You guys are cracking me up.


well,I don't get it,shouldn't an unattractive
woman be happy,if you call them beautiful.


If your penis is 5 cm long, and you know it, would you like me to do jokes about that, by telling you that its as great as an elephants ones? ^^



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18 Mar 2014, 8:31 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
GivePeaceAChance wrote:
I date for personality myself, but I never tell anyone "I am not with you for your looks" - that is hurtful - just keep pointing out their good points - and no matter what you really think, if you are seeing someone, tell her she is beautiful to you.

Well I am not THAT clueless I never told her that and was always positive, like complimenting her about how beautiful her smile was (as rare as I saw it). I am just stating a fact and pointing out I seem to be in a double bind. Cant say a girl is beautiful without offending her but cant be honest either. I want to be a man that respects women but I honestly dont have a clue how. I wouldn't say I DON'T date for looks but I tend to be more like a female and look for the deeper qualities above everything else.

Sorry for highjacking the thread especially in the Women's section but this has sorta become my special interest and I am genuinely curious.


and you are refusing to hear what is being said and has been said over and over

approaching random people and being that way is wrong.

calling someone you are in a relationship with a compliment IS a compliment. Words have meanings that may differ in different contexts!


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19 Mar 2014, 4:55 pm

Saying, 'you are beautiful,' is a somewhat more polite way of saying, 'I find you sexually attractive,' which from a strange male is the equivalent of saying, 'I am potentially dangerous, watch your back.'
If she knows you, and knows that you're not actually dangerous, she's more likely to take it as the compliment that you mean it as.



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19 Mar 2014, 9:08 pm

LKL wrote:
Saying, 'you are beautiful,' is a somewhat more polite way of saying, 'I find you sexually attractive,' which from a strange male is the equivalent of saying, 'I am potentially dangerous, watch your back.'
If she knows you, and knows that you're not actually dangerous, she's more likely to take it as the compliment that you mean it as.

Well, in my case the girl DID know me and we DID have some nice conversations (remember I'm painfully shy) and I guess that's where us males differ. If a girl I knew told me she wanted to (censored) my (censored) I would be over the world happy even if I wasn't interested. Before you say it, yes I have been sexually assaulted both in school by a "macho man" bully who would kill someone for being gay and by my ex girlfriend.

I guess this is another example of an Aspie male thinking and speaking literally. If I found her sexually attractive, I would come out and say it. I will have to keep that in mind although I have to admit it makes zero sense to me. I mean what I say and say what I mean and find it hard to be any other way.



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19 Mar 2014, 9:14 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
LKL wrote:
Saying, 'you are beautiful,' is a somewhat more polite way of saying, 'I find you sexually attractive,' which from a strange male is the equivalent of saying, 'I am potentially dangerous, watch your back.'
If she knows you, and knows that you're not actually dangerous, she's more likely to take it as the compliment that you mean it as.

Well, in my case the girl DID know me and we DID have some nice conversations (remember I'm painfully shy) and I guess that's where us males differ. If a girl I knew told me she wanted to (censored) my (censored) I would be over the world happy even if I wasn't interested. Before you say it, yes I have been sexually assaulted both in school by a "macho man" bully who would kill someone for being gay and by my ex girlfriend.

I guess this is another example of an Aspie male thinking and speaking literally. If I found her sexually attractive, I would come out and say it. I will have to keep that in mind although I have to admit it makes zero sense to me. I mean what I say and say what I mean and find it hard to be any other way.

would you be as happy if a man who outweighed you by 50 lbs told you that he wanted to (censored) your (censored), whether you were interested or not?

The other thing about telling a woman that she's pretty is that you're saying, 'I'm seeing you right now as a female, and not as a boss/secretary/doctor/nurse/bus driver/clerk/civil servant/whatever.' Most of the women I know - and this isn't universal, but most of the women I know - want to be treated as their role, especially at work, rather than as their gender. That is, they want to be your colleague, not your sex interest. Your neighbor, not your sex interest. Your barista, not your sex interest. Etc.



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19 Mar 2014, 10:22 pm

I would LOVE to be called beautiful.
If someone I don't really know was to compliment me on my appearance, I might think they're only after sex though. If it's someone who seems to have an interest in talking to me, knowing more about me, my hobbies, etc. it would be awesome to be called beautiful. I think beautiful would be best heard coming from a boyfriend or close friend. Pretty seems to be a more socially acceptable word. I have no problem telling another woman she's pretty.



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19 Mar 2014, 11:22 pm

LKL wrote:

The other thing about telling a woman that she's pretty is that you're saying, 'I'm seeing you right now as a female, and not as a boss/secretary/doctor/nurse/bus driver/clerk/civil servant/whatever.' Most of the women I know - and this isn't universal, but most of the women I know - want to be treated as their role, especially at work, rather than as their gender. That is, they want to be your colleague, not your sex interest. Your neighbor, not your sex interest. Your barista, not your sex interest. Etc.


well,yes.guys like pretty girls.
I told my dentist,she's pretty(or attractive).
ok,she a very pretty dentist.I actual told her,that she's an attractive dentist.