How can I be a better houswife?
24 Mar 2015, 4:59 am
However, I don't think it's good these days to think in terms of being the only "housewife" in the house. Even if your boyfriend works full time and you work less hours, I still strongly believe in sharing as much of the household chores as possible, and no ONE person being "the housewife." I think that notion can start to tip into one person taking advantage of the other, at worst.
When my husband and I were both working full time, we arrived home and cooked together. We were both as tired as each other, so why make one person responsible for the meal alone?
We also did our laundry together once a week. It's more fun that way, even. You can get to have conversation time and you're doing something together instead of ONE person slaving at it.
In this modern age I think it's dangerous to think of only one person in the household carrying to entire can, when it's two adults who ought to take some responsibility for their own stuff.
Don't fall into the trap of being the "little woman" who puts the meal on the table and irons the shirts.
I hate ironing and any man who needs it I'm going to tell him to damn well iron his own f*****g shirts, he's not a baby. What did he do when he lived alone before I moved in? He ironed his own shirts.
Sorry but the "housewife" notion when TWO people are wearing clothes, TWO people are making a mess, TWO people are using the toilet and dirtying the bathtub, rubs me the wrong way.
TWO people need to do their share if two people are sharing everything.
I am a housewife and have been for most of my 28 year marriage. I didn't work for most of our marriage and because I stayed home and took care of the kids, I felt that the house is my job. It's not because I'm a lady, it's because I'm the one at home and not the one working outside the home. Keeping a home nicely and cooking good food for your family and raising kids is a full time job. It's not demeaning at all to be in charge of the house, if that is what we chose to do.
It doesn't mean I'm the maid and people drop things on the floor and don't do their share, but I'm the one in charge of it and I do give chores to others and I have my way I like things done and I spend my time getting the things done that have to be done. My husband has done his part many times, and when I'm sick or just sick of doing it for a few days then he does it. He does the basic cleaning, cooking and some laundry but not the in depth and detailed stuff. I also take care of the bills and handle all the money, because I see what we need for the house and the kids tell me what they need as does my husband, and I'm great at shopping and finding deals. I enjoy doing what I'm doing and I'm very far from a submissive "little woman" or "barefoot and pregnant" even when I was literally barefoot and pregnant because you don't have to wear shoes in the house.
I think the idea of being a housewife has gotten a bad name. I'm a feminist and I certainly believe that we should have the same opportunities and pay and respect as men do, and I'm also pro choice even though I have four kids. It seems to many women that we should be free to choose this job or that job, or the career over yonder but to choose to stay home and raise your kids and take care of the house is a choice that should be taken away from women as completely as the idea of women soldiers who weren't WAC's or WAVE's was back in the 40s. I don't see whats wrong with that choice, it's a valid one. I'm very happy with it and I don't feel deprived. I've done lots of different things from time to time during my marriage, and I've worked when I needed to, or wanted to, or just wanted to try to do this one cool job that I was interested in. I have no regrets about it, and I'm fulfilled but not by sweet aprons and precious curtains and easy peasy bread recipes, but by following through on my choices and pursuing my goals and desires whether they are of the Donna Reed variety or one of the many others that I wanted to do, and did.
If you weren't putting down housewives, then disregard this, but I get that a lot from people and I always speak up.
I just wanted to say I respect OliveOilMom, it's great that women are more able to make a choice about the work they do, and I understand the reaction a woman shouldn't have to be at home and things like housework should be split equally. I think work should be fairly divided, but if a person, male or female, chooses the job of looking after the home and all the things that go with it, (a full time job especially if it is done well) and it works out as mutually beneficial for the couple, then this job is in no way submissive, 1950's, or demeaning. Obviously the reason is choice, if it really is ones choice, then the choice should be supported whole heartededly, as one should support anyone's decision to work hard in their career or job.
03 Apr 2015, 3:00 pm
I am curious as to how many hours Joe90's boyfriend works in comparison to her. If she is not working or working drastically less hours then I have no problem with her taking on the majority of chores.
I am currently a housewife myself. I have not had the best record employment wise. I have a tendency to get overwhelmed by the social interactions and florescent lights. I am also a perfectionist and will break down in tears if I make any mistakes.
Anyways, my boyfriend works a lot of hours and makes enough money to support us both. He is very understanding about my situation and both of us are very happy with our lives. I am now looking into volunteering, something I had wanted to do for ages. I previously found myself too drained from work to do.
However, I don't know how to iron though! I hate to do it!! It is a very frustrating and time-consuming experience. Luckily, neither me nor my bf own very many clothes that require ironing. I will just put them in the bathroom to steam if that is the case. If you are unsure about using an iron that could be a possible solution. They even have special steamers specifically for clothes.
I am a feminist as well and think that it is a matter of personal choice. unfortunately, there is some backlash to this lifestyle especially if you don't have kids.
