Women with Autism Overlooked?

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If it were the case that normies are taught socializing, which they undoubtedly are, it begs the question, why all this babble in the first place? If it served no purpose for them why would they bother? I think nts use communication as a manipulative tool, which is why we see it as fake and a game. But to them, it is a very useful tool. They also use it to go on endlessly about stuff which no one could be interested in - I call this sliming.

Some girls and women on the spectrum fit the "extreme male model" fine. Others I believe are almost an extreme female model and this group is the group that will typically be labeled with other conditions only unless they are fortunate enough to be seen by someone with enough experience to recognize what they are seeing. I think that probably happens most often when their are one or more relatives known to be on the spectrum as well as the professional having the experience to see what's in front of their eyes.

From my point of view, the extreme male model, to the extent there is truth to it, may be related to a literal interpretation of social expectations, which is true for kids on the spectrum, they are literal. And a literal interpretation by a little boy is an extreme male model, a literal interpretation by a little girl may be an extreme male or female model depending on her role models and who she spends time with. If she is identified early she may be around adults accustomed to boys on the spectrum and get steered in that direction in classes and by service providers as well as surrounded by a lot of little boys on the spectrum.

I am in between, probably more extreme female. It is extremely confusing to people when I try to be social or even try to be the social glue I've been taught girls should do yet seem awkward or confused and the go-to-explanation is that I am being rude or snotty because that makes more sense to people than recognizing I might want to be social more than I know how.

I am not saying girls on the spectrum fly totally under the radar, though surely many do. Just that we are many times given other labels for quite awhile.

Well along those lines I truly believe there's more than wiring differences in the autistic brain. According to science's current understanding of brain physiology positive social interaction releases endorphins (the brain's version of morphine), and negative social interactions produce cortisol, the stress hormone. It's my belief that autistics don't receive endorphins from positive social interaction, or at least not at the same levels that neurotypicals do. Again, this is merely a belief based on personal perspective and a few other pieces of anecdotal evidence. I can say from my experience I've never received a euphoric rush from a "positive" social interaction, I also don't feel overly stressed from poor social interactions.

If my premise is correct then there's something more going on with social interaction than merely the words and body posture that come with it-- namely, NT's would be getting a rush of one of the most powerful drugs in the natural world. Now imagine if every time you talked to someone and it was positive you had heroin injected into your system, and every time the interaction was negative you were injected with an alcohol hangover. You'd become addicted to "fitting in" for that heroin boost pretty rapidly, especially since the other option is a hangover. People that are severely addicted to something lose control of their logical functioning, this would explain things like "mob mentality" and why people will follow a group they know is "going over a cliff" but can't help themselves from following anyways.

Again, this all conjecture, but from my perspective there is something more going on in social interaction than what I can sense. Sorry for hijacking the thread, so back to the topic, lol.

Yeah, it's a two issue front. On one hand, part of the mis or undiagnosis of females is due to the condition being almost exclusively defined from a male perspective-- "extreme male brain" is still found in a lot of autism related literature. It makes sense that very few females, even on the spectrum would fit into that mold. The second issue you raise is the gender stereotypes society pushes-- "the social glue" as you put it. By forcing female autistics to fit this role, which they may not be equipped to handle, I can see where meltdowns and shutdowns might become prominent and thus they are labeled with some other malady, such as depression or anxiety-- especially since autism is "only for males", and most psychiatrists still subconsciously view it as such since that's what they were taught when getting their degrees.

Yes, this. NTs, through enjoyable social interactions, receive hormones that provide protection from anxiety and depression. For an autistic woman struggling just to appear "normal", every interaction instead produces cortisol.
The doctor is focusing on how the conversation works for others, with no regard for how broken it is for the speaker.

It's as if every time you try to put gas in your car, it leaks out through a hole in the bottom of the tank. But the mechanic claims there's nothing wrong because you inserted the nozzle correctly.

I like that analogy, I like it a lot.

This is what I am struggling with, with my current shrink. There are no autism specialists at the Adult Mental Health Clinic I go to, so I got this old guy (he's retiring this spring) who studied probably back in the '60s. His specialty is OCD, which I conquered years ago (well mostly.) I find the whole experience very alienating.

From what you told me, I think you need to start calling him "The Invalidator"-- like he's some kind of super villain, because that's what he sounded like to me. I'll be honest here, I see someone like him being capable of doing much more harm than good, be very wary in his presence.

Frankly, I can't imagine what help this guy could provide.

He's an idiot. Fortunately I'll be done with him soon. I'm being referred to a new psychiatrist, but it's at the same mental health clinic, so still no autism specialists. I think the lack of qualified doctors is in part due to the focus on autism as a young person's disorder. I hate to say it but I think my generation has been written off by the medical community.

I think women with Autism are ore overlooked versus men with Autism. It's not fair. It could be because there are less women on the spectrum than men and that the symptoms are a little different. I was lucky to be diagnosed at age 7.

This is often claimed, but I wonder if we just present differently.

It's possible.

I like that analogy, too. However, I'm more used to being told there is indeed a problem, and it is that I don't insert the nozzle correctly, and I must learn to do it before putting gas in the tank can be anything but laughably beyond my ability, so I have to take lots and lots of years of courses on how to insert the nozzle, and noöne can tell whether I'll ever be done with them in my whole life, nor should I be concerned about it, because I have to be patient and accept my limitations. Oh, and the idea that there may be a hole in the bottom is so ridiculous it wouldn't deserve a second of attention were it not because it's a sign of how funny in the head I am, imagining something so out of touch with reality.

I know I personally find positive interactions to make me feel better....and negative interactions really can stress me out and get to me. I'd think it would be more schizoids who typically feel 'indifferent' towards social interaction though its probably not unheard of within autism....I just know in my experience human interactions certainly do effect me. Also I think mob mentality is a lot more complex than that actually, though the desire for interaction and belonging certainly can play into mob mentality but there is also a lot about power or rather wanting to feel 'powerful', fear of people/things that are 'different' or 'odd', those fears being played into by anyone trying to rile up a mob so its not so much people just can't help themselves.

People should move away from this 'extreme male brain' thing....autism is not a gender identity, sex or gender, so to try and classify it as being 'gender specific' is going to be problematic. There is no disorder that is viewed as 'the extreme female brain' because neurology and sex/gender are not the same thing and don't correlate that way. And not to mention it does perpetuate the misconception that there are little to no autistic females.