How do you handle emotions?

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I talk sweetly to myself and tell myself it's alright, feel the emotion, let it go through me. if I need to swear, i'll swear. I have stendahl's syndrome and this gets excited with I listen to some of my musics or see something poignant on the news or read about it online.

I rarely say anything I don't mean, and I am never intentionally hurtful, though I may occasionally say something factual that another person finds hurtful, or voice a view that another person finds offensive or passionately disagrees with. Though I usually try to be tactful about these things. I don't get into arguments with those close to me often, and when I do, I'm careful not to say anything I might regret.

When I was very young, of course I had the occasional "meltdown" but they were never interpersonal, and I never launched any personal attacks during them. Eventually I grew up and decided I didn't like making a fool out of myself, and that it was a lot easier to admit to my own short comings, or admit when I was wrong when I knew I was, because when we admit our faults, we take control of them, and of our lives. It's a lot nicer to have some control over your life, than to be at the mercy of unchecked emotions.

Borderline Personality Disorder, in my opinion, is actually the polar opposite of AS. At the heart of Borderline Personality Disorder, is very emotionally sensitive individual, who has too often felt invalidated in life, such that they have not been able to form a stable sense of self, and have no sense of self worth. This is often due to some type of abuse as a child...for example, being subjected to psychological and emotional abuse by a critical and invalidating parent, but not always. They inevitably try to latch on to other people, and acceptance by those people come to define their sense of self and self worth. However, at the same time, they fear abandonment by those people. They often lash out at those close to them, because they are inherently emotional people, and because they easily feel invalidated, or as if they are being abandoned, and their emotional defenses go up.

A good analogy is, they are like people in the water who can't swim, and are struggling to stay afloat, so they latch on to the person next to them. But the person next to them can't keep two people above water, and so starts to get pulled under by the person with BPD, and so tries to get away from the person with BPD. Because the person with BPD can't swim though, the person with BPD try to latch on to the other person tighter, all the while pulling them under water.

I won't say that a person on the autism spectrum can't have BPD, but it is perplexing to me how the two can exist together because people on the autistic spectrum, even though we get lonely, seem to need more alone time than most people, and the concept of needing another person to define ones self might just be beyond the theory of mind of many on the spectrum.

I think a person on the spectrum who has been subjected to an invalidating environment as a child is more likely to withdraw from people than to latch on to them.

Many people with BPD will claim they avoid others and relationships, but this is usually after the fact, whereas a person with AS or ASD might just not bother with people to begin with.

There are people on the spectrum who do lash out at others and say horrible things they don't mean, but the underlying forces driving this behavior is different than with BPD. This is why you need to be evaluated by someone licensed to do so.

I don't handle emotions very well. I feel a lot, but more deeply and physical sensations more than always properly identify these emotions. I think that in itself generates anxiety. I don't explode that easily though and bottle up a lot, to a breaking point sometimes and sure I look like I have a temper then, although also sure it wouldn't happen if emotions - also these linked to too much sensory input - were addressed more frequently. Fear of emotions and how unreliable they are is still my master. Is that commonplace with autism, expressed that way? Not convienced. Whether it is or not, I believe it's important to learn how to communicate better.

I would like to be able to process emotions quicker in response to unexpected events. My standard thoughts on how I feel about something like that is usually I don't know. I might realise a week later that actually, I am/I'm not happy about something that happened, but when unprepared I sometimes cant tell the difference between that in the moment disconnect from how I feel and actual indifference.

I have a tendency to feel things pretty quickly after a thought-provoking event, soon after the end of an initial period of numbness.

I try to suppress them, especially the negative ones, until I am alone. With the more positive ones I mostly just try to tone things down, to try to keep on an even keel. I don't handle strong emotions well as I have trouble processing so much input at once. The negative ones are worse, of course, so it's best to deal with them when I am alone. At that point I can vent all I want, and then psychoanalize myself in private.

I went to many different doctors and therapists as a child and teen, and learned that I hated to tell other people my innermost thoughts. It is an intrusion, a violation, so I got good at telling these people as little as possible. I did learn the process though, and later started applying it to myself in private, as I am really the only "therapist" I can stand to have treat me.