Libido

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IIrc viagra increases a woman's ability to experience pleasure in sex, and testosterone increases libido (in both sexes). She might not even know that it's a problem for you; talk to her about it before you trash the relationship by having an affair.

I find it interesting that when my testosterone levels are normal I have far less of a libido than I do when i'm on testosterone. I can tell whether I have low or normal testosterone because my problem is that my body sometimes produces no testosterone meaning I don't ovulate, so when i ovulate I know that I have normal, albeit likely low, levels of testosterone.

Around the times I ovulate i've no desire at all for anything sexual. When I do't ovulate I desire masturbation.

Of course this may in part be related to seizures in the frontal temporal lobe. We'll see if its still the case once my keppra is on the corect dosage for me

Okay, I origionally assumed you were female since you have a chick pic...... sorry.

I have to point out, all these things are not one sided. I'm not trying to offend you, but are you making an effort, or have you just given up? Have you tried being romantic? Remember how you acted when you were dating? What happened to that?

Well that's nice, but not really common and probably an unrealistic expectation.
You watch this stuff... do you try acting like a leading man? Maybe you could try it.

Please try to work this out instead of cheating, that generally doesn't end well for anyone involved. Talk to her. Don't say "give me more sex or I'll get it elsewhere", but something more like "I've noticed we've lost a lot of our romance and I'd like to find it again." Tell her the things about her you appriciate. (Women often begin to feel taken for granted.)

Sex is just sex... who's fault is that? You're blaming it all on her, but what are you doing about it? Are you taking your time and trying to make it special? Try that, you might be supprised. Maybe if she's into candlelight, light a candle or something. Anything, to show you want to make it more than "just sex".
Refuse to be rushed. Take the time to make sure she enjoys it.
She may have gotten in to the "let's just get it over with" mentality, if so you would need to spend more time on her, foreplay, ect.

Trust me, she misses the romance too. Now go find it together.

Yes. I've tried cuddling in a non-sexual way and she tells me "not tonight" or something to the effect of she's sore or tired.

I give her compliments, say sweet things to her. Hell, I've even cleaned the house top to bottom.

If she's unwilling to see a doctor about it or something within the next three months, I'm pursuing a relationship that's purely physical and maybe even paying a visit to the brothels in Amsterdam when I get there.

First question: Is she hereself aware of this and concerned because if she isn't then you two might want to seek marriage counseling. There maybe something else going on.

Second question: Does she see her doctor regularly? If she is concerned she should probably make that her number one priority.

Third question: You two haven't cheated on eachother have you? That can really mess up libido even if it doesn't happen right away.

Fourth question: Are you taking care of yourself? Sounds like a mean question but sometimes in relationships what was once going good could be going down when one or two partners no longer feel the motivation to physically take care of themselves. This doesn't mean lose a bunch of weight or get a face lift, etc. It means an effort on your part and hers to stay healthy and show that you care about the other partner when it comes to intimacy.

Fifth question: Did she just have a baby or are you two with a child for the first time? Yeah I know you have a baby but children just from seeing my sister can cause a lot of stress espeacially if it's a whole new thing. This might require some days away from the kid for a while if that hasn't been tried.

Good luck, again I think a doctor and/or counseling is number one.

This is just a guess, but she may feel that all you want from the relationship is sex. I am not basing this on anything other than this thread.

The biggest aphrodisiac for a woman is a clean house with a home cooked meal that she didn't need to lift a finger for.

Also, be playful with her as well. Foreplay for night-time sex should start in the morning. Let her know throughout the day that your thinking of her.

Some things that you can do to zero in on the problem(s): Put a note in her purse where she will find it during her work day. Send her an e-mail mid day. These note don't need to be poetry, just 'thinking of you' should work. When she comes home ask her about her day, she should be telling you anyway. Make sure that there are no looming chores in her future. If she is still non-responsive with no stress then that leaves a few less possibilities. Set her down and let her know that you are willing to listen to her, no matter what is going on. Don't offer advice, just listen and be interested. Validate her emotions (look it up on the web for a how to). Try not to get frustrated, but if you do then it is time to seek counselling.

Be aware of what role you expect her and yourself to play in your relationship. IE. what is it that you and her are supposed to do and be when you are together and when you are apart. You might find a lot of frustrating crap mixed up in that lot.

How long has it been since you two have fought? If it has been awhile then you might as well just pack your bags. Fighting means that both people are still invested in the relationship.

I should add that one second-shift free day won't necessarily cut it, especially if kids are involved. If she lives in a semi-permanent state of partial exhaustion, the first thing she'll want to do with her free time is catch up on her sleep.

My dh has the lower libido, and I've always had a hard time initiating. So, its not easy here either.
I always felt I've known a lot about this stuff, but when your honey doesn't seem to care enough to put effort into it... It can be lonely and frustrating.
Have any of you tried buying special things like toys and lotions? A lot of people eat yummy stuff together as if it was in trade of sex; because sex is a give and take effort, where as food if already prepared can bring on immediate satisfaction. I think keeping lunch and dinner routine can help this problem, if anyone is bothered by it. But then, food can be fun too. Icecream/fondue!
Doesn't a little extra exercise, beget more energy? Why not take a walk and talk, or doing little things, that remind both of you of the love you share.
I'm going to keep trying. I think its important.

Lamictal had the same effect on me it was kind of irksome, my husband did like that though, and Keppra defiantly dampens it. I really don't know how to increase libido , although for a few months recently I did have a circumscribed interest in sex it's passed.I think how ones life and mood are and whether one is tired can make a difference.