Does anyone else HATE sex sometimes?

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Even the worst sex I've ever had was better than no sex at all.

Yep.

i am mostly too ticklish to allow anyone to touch me.
i just contract away from them, and if they reach further and touch me again i giggle because i can not bear the ticklishness.
they think i like it because i am giggling, but it is a sensation that is excruciatingly annoying.
once an older kid at school pinned me down with my arms over my head, and tickled my underarms and i started to cry inside but my giggling seizure prevented my crying from coming out. as soon as he stopped, i went from shrieking in laughter to crying immediately.

if i have had drinks, i am less ticklish, but i do not like it much even then.

emotionally, it is painfully intimate, and i feel suffocated by the deoxygenated air if their faces are too close to mine. like i am breathing their warm carbon dioxide exhalations.
i am not romantic.

I guess it didn't hurt. When it hurts like someone's taking a hack saw to your muscles, then it's not so fun.

But also, for some of us with female brains, it also hurts a lot when we're invisible to the other person as a person. The dehumanizing stuff gets me every time. And that's not even getting as far as the sensory overload, which can be frightening all by itself. When a man is so focussed on you it's like he stops seeing you, how can you trust him to back off when you're in overload?

Why is it weakness for her to recognize what she wants and needs?

Why would it be a victory to act like everyone else when it hurts her?

Why not sort those problems out instead? Everyone wants someone to love and hold. I remember thinking i'd never be able to have sex while sober. But I can now.

^ The word "everyone" is a bit much (asexuals). But yes, the very vast majority do.

I'm starting to get really screwed up in the brain and I'm getting to the point where I have deep emotional issues with sex. I may join millie's side soon. Yeah, yeah I know it can be worked out. But many things will have to change before I can get to that point.

We'll just have to see, I suppose.

what the f**k is this?
how old are you?
talk to me when you have a clue about life mr. benjaminbreeg.
besides...why is it negative weakness? you are missing the point. I LOVE IT THE WAY IT IS.
I love it. hehehe
you are making a very very immature assumption about things.

chuckle chuckle.
you seem to have little understanding of sensory integration dysfunction or how sexuality and sexual expression is for some people with AS. i am not normal in this regard - not at all. it's actually fantastic to have my life exactly how i want it these days. the best.
when you go out and get a little tad of experience, perhaps we could have a sensible thread discussion, then, benji.

are you sure you have an ASD?

and fyi...i spent from the ages of 26-36 as a sex worker with AS bombed out on opiates and pills and alcohol. My suspicion is i have a little more real life experience than you in matters pertaining to the various expressions of the sexual act.

I would hazard a guess you are a mere babe in the woods on the subject, with scant empirical knowledge and a blaze of adolescent theory under your belt (pun intended.) This is evidenced by the very insightful dildo ref in your avatar, which in fact speaks volumes about your age. (dead giveaway...tends to indicate someone who has never actually SEEN one, except on the net or a girly mag belonging to a classmate's dad.)

are we college or still high school?

shall i continue here, or would you prefer a pm? then you could say a prostitute sent you letters......

Last edited by millie on 03 Mar 2009, 11:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

What a cute icon miss Millie

I'd have to say that sex is different for women than it is men judging from these threads.

I don't think men seem to understand that women have to take it like a man lol!

As for me, erm....yes though I wouldn't know since my experiences have been few and befuddled b/c of my sensory issues. Then again, I like to take things slow while some of the guys in my past wanted it quick.

I wonder sometimes why people or mainstream society thinks that sex can only be the act of just intercourse for pleasure.....

thanks mith.
that is my best friend peggy. she is beautiful and she is mine.

^ My puppy is my best friend too I like puppies

that's good. it is important.

It's the same for me, and I'm a woman...

I was always impressed from men and their ability to stop, no matter how far along the way where they... I would bite the guy's hesd off and continue

You're over the hill, but you're acting like a child. You don't love it, you've just given in to your anxieties. If it was a guy you was in love with, and he loved you too, he could make you feel comfortable enough to do anything together.

Yeah, i'm HFA, and doh! I'm in a relationship with an aspie, who has had all these issues and we've worked through them together, so think again sheila.

Lol, so you're 46 and and still haven't worked up to looking a guy in the face. You don't sound experienced, you sound fragile.

Again, think before you speak. The dildo thing is a quote from the UK Office. Yes, i've seen one.

http://www.videosift.com/video/The-Offi ... ts-a-Dildo


No, I work thanks. And I don't mind you saying whatever you want.

i got ratty with you because you make sweeping judgments about people, benjaminbreeg. you have a little bit of knowledge from a post and you make a BIG statement about how it is for others.
i llive in a house wiht my ex and my son. i have been in a relationship with this man for 9 years and we recently split, although what we now have is a bit weird - an open relationship of sorts, co-parenting. it's great and very caring and mature.

and i think if you met me, you just might rethink the "fragile" tag.

i perceive you are very black and white in your thinking and you seem to assume that just because you and your girlfriend live a certain way, you have found the magic potion for all.

You seem to assume because you and she have wanted to "overcome" certain aspects in the relationship, that is what everyone should or must do. your post is very immature, and saying such things shows little openness or understanding of human nature in its various facets.


Have you ever hreard of hetergoeneity?
that is what gives richness and diversity to the world.

you seem to be promulgating the notion we must all adhere to benjaminbreegstyle living, which doesn't really interest me for now. it might again one day, but not at present.

if i reacted strongly, it is because i found your post silly, nasty and lacking in insight.

i am glad you are happy with your current circumstances. that's great. that is a good way to live. You are living how YOU want to live. BUt why do you assume that is how it is for everyone?


i am just accepting a dx at present and i am also very happy to live how i want to live. it's been a long time coming for this old boiler.
You don't even understand that peoples' wants and needs - AS or NT - change over time and over the tracjectory of their lives. What i wanted when i was younger may well have been similar to you.
these days it is very different.

i did years of therapy and years of "working through" things as you put it.

there is no "working through" for me. there's been times when i have lived the way you espouse (you know - the ideal - boyfriend and girfriend making love and everything is now fine and dandy...hehehe)

But it is truly not what i want and so, i come to a place of real relief and happiness at 46 that i can have things my way and how I want them finally. that is a great and wonderful experience.

it does not mean i do not like sex. it probably means i am just a little weirder than you in this regard. much weirder and far less traditonal.

i do not do what i do not want to do.

and i do lots and lots of things i want to.

have a good life.
i am glad you are happy.