No Sexual Attraction

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I'm pretty close to asexual. I only had one real crush and it was on another individual with AS.

asexuality dot org has a little thing up there about the fact that a lot of asexual folks are AS. I feel I am that way. Some people think I'm gay. But I am, well older than most of you, and I haven't had a sexual (or relationship) since I was in my 20s.

I went to that website as a co-worker was asking me a lot of questions one day-- did I have any relationships, etc.etc. etc. I got curious. Why wasn't I interested, was this common? etc. Then I went to that site. I read and posted for about a month and then i stopped reading it. (Though that might follow my usual pattern of reading forums so i don't know.) But I have guessed that the topic wasn't that interested. I think of it as normal for me.

--des

Perhaps you're a late bloomer (as others have said). Even when I was dating around I wondered if I were asexual. It took me a long time to "bloom".

You could also be someone who bonds to people based more on intellectual/emotional attraction rather than physical criteria. (That turned out to be the case for me.)

I've been on forums of mostly NTs and when the conversation turns to dating, it seems as if such external issues as physical attractiveness and financial potential can trump internal intellectual/emotional factors.

Or you may be asexual. if that's the case, you might want to look at asexual and quirkyalone sites to see if your experiences and interests dovetail.

I'm male, but anyway........

I got my first spike when i was 5, had the first DREAM when i was 9-10, the first you-know-what when i was 12, in otha words, i'm the anti MathGirl when it comes to sexuality

I didn't start feeling desire until I was 17... and snatched out of society, so before and during the time, I had no social life, and it continues even up to this day.

I'm not too girly but I'm pretty sure I'm straight

...but I don't find boys at school attractive

I was wondering what spike means so I googled it and found out...

a long metal nail

Well... I can't really relate but in a way it's good, because most of the time if a person is sober and clear minded while having sex, they get attached to the person, even if that person's a big idiot. You also don't have to worry about getting pregnant or STDs because you really don't care about sex. Good for you

I know what you mean MathGirl.

I just feel like I don't know yet and I haven't developed but I'll see what happens in a few years.

Sam x

I personally get confused when people talk about sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and mental attraction. People treat them like they are mutually exclusive when it comes to dating. I find people sexually attractive, but i don't see why people consider this a factor when it comes to dating people. I don't understand why someone who is asexual cannot date someone who isn't a vise-versa. Surely if you want to make someone else happy (via any means) that is a good enough reason for wanting to be with someone?

I do not believe my AS son will end up being asexual, but I have known a lot of males and females who do not have ASD that are just not that into sex. It happens sometimes. It could be permanent or it could change with time.

I would recommend dating people who seem to have your similar level of libido though. It has a tendency to cause problems if people are in a relationship with mismatched sexual interests. Sex can be both simple and complicated at the same time.

I dunno!

It's all over my head. I can see how people can be pleasing to the eye but I don't really understand attraction and libido.

That said, I can't say that I'm asexual because being asexual in itself is a sexuality by definition and implies that you are capable of having a sexual relationship but are inclined not to.

Maybe one day...

Sam x

Hmm, I have attraction to people, but for some reason there is something blocking it. I have a lot of underlying and deep problems - and I think it has an effect on my libido.. which wants to be there but has great difficulty.

Does anyone think it's possible to unblock it?

Sam x

I think that it depends on what is blocking it to begin with.

Same. I can easily judge whether a man or a woman is attractive or not. However, it doesn't mean that I'm attracted to them. It's just that they look more pleasing to the eye, that there is a certain aesthetic to their appearance.


Anyone can have a sexual relationship if they are forced to do so. However, asexuals don't have a natural propensity to form a relationship. And why would one enter a relationship if they don't feel a need for it?