The word: Lady

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murphycop
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16 Jan 2011, 9:19 am

Lol, why is sweety so bad?

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emlion
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16 Jan 2011, 9:21 am

I like if someone is pretending to be a cowboy, then they can call me little lady all they like.

LKL
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16 Jan 2011, 5:50 pm

murphycop wrote:

Lol, why is sweety so bad?

It is a term of endearment (also known, tellingly, as a 'diminutive,') usually reserved for adults addressing children or those lower in status, or for immediate family members. Its use is either a display of dominance or an assumption of intimacy.

Other examples are 'honey,' 'dear,' 'hon,' 'baby,' and other, similar words.

edit:
For men, the equivalent words would be 'boy,' 'kid,' or 'son.'
as has been previously noted, it is generally acceptable for someone at least a generation older to use these words towards a stranger unless they are used in an obviously insulting or sexual manner.

Last edited by LKL on 16 Jan 2011, 6:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

murphycop
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16 Jan 2011, 6:16 pm

LKL wrote:

murphycop wrote:

Lol, why is sweety so bad?

Maybe its just aspie girls then, they go too much into what the actual word means. If they were insulted by the word dear, they really need to get a life.

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LKL
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16 Jan 2011, 6:41 pm

:roll:
yeah, feeling insulted when someone insults you is sooo dull.

{/sarcasm}

murphycop
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16 Jan 2011, 7:06 pm

LKL wrote:

:roll:
yeah, feeling insulted when someone insults you is sooo dull.

{/sarcasm}

Are you seriously saying you'd find being called dear an insult? If they were just saying it in a nice way. Thats pretty funny how you edited your post about the male stuff too. I've been called all of those. "Boy" on building sites. And son and kid, probably by my parents. Its more of, its pretty pathetic to feel insulted so easily, especially by words that aren't really insulting.

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Verdandi
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16 Jan 2011, 9:04 pm

I dislike being called "dear" and other "endearing" nicknames. I don't find it offensive, but I don't see the point.

I am also not fond of "lady." I feel it implies that women should be held to certain impractical standards of behavior.

I also know it's used casually - I've been called a lady many times by wait staff in restaurants, and that doesn't bother me.

murphycop
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16 Jan 2011, 9:18 pm

Verdandi wrote:

I dislike being called "dear" and other "endearing" nicknames. I don't find it offensive, but I don't see the point.
I am also not fond of "lady." I feel it implies that women should be held to certain impractical standards of behavior.

I also know it's used casually - I've been called a lady many times by wait staff in restaurants, and that doesn't bother me.

Why is it even important though? You easily offended (sorry I don't wanna use anything that might seem offensive) females? would have more problems than being called ladies, if you lived in certain parts of the middle east.

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menintights
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17 Jan 2011, 1:01 am

Quote:

Well, murphycop, I really don't know what else there is to say. Some seemingly harmless words that are reserved for females just aren't as harmless as they seem, and this is just one of those things you won't understand unless you were born without a penis. Now since you obviously don't know what you're talking about, do yourself a favor and stop typing. Didn't your dadda teach you to think before you speak, or is this one of those pathetic things Aspie boys do when they're in need of a life?

For the record, I don't mind being called "dear" by an older woman--it's when an older man decides to call me "dear" do I take issue with him. I also don't have that much problem being called "lady"... except for the fact that I'm not old enough to pass as one. When I think of a lady I think of a middle-aged female, and as it is I'm not anywhere near being a lady yet.

Quote:

Although if someone calls you that, you can always condescend them back by reply "Alright, skip" or "See ya little guy" or something likewise.

No, you can't. It's not the same. It's like black people trying to get even with white people by calling them crackers. The effect just isn't the same.

Sallamandrina
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17 Jan 2011, 7:14 am

^
You raise a good point - the person and circumstances in which such words are used will make them acceptable or not. There's going to be a huge difference between what my husband or mother can call me compared to a stranger or acquaintance. "Sweetheart" or "honey" carry a familiarity that in my case would definitely be unwelcome if I don't know the person well. Same for using them in a condescending manner.

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murphycop
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17 Jan 2011, 9:44 am

menintights wrote:

Quote:

Although if someone calls you that, you can always condescend them back by reply "Alright, skip" or "See ya little guy" or something likewise.

No, you can't. It's not the same. It's like black people trying to get even with white people by calling them crackers. The effect just isn't the same.

Well then maybe you don't understand how pathetic it is from your side, miss hypocrite. Who's to say you're not right? So maybe stop typing yourself? I'm actually just pretty active on here at the moment cause i've been ill. I don't spend my life on an aspie site whining about being called dear, cause I haven't got a big enough backbone to earn enough respect in real life. Didn't your dadda teach you about freedom of speech?

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emlion
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17 Jan 2011, 9:45 am

Condesending.

It's supercool to start arguments, right? :roll:

murphycop
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17 Jan 2011, 10:08 am

emlion wrote:

Condesending.

It's supercool to start arguments, right? :roll:

You keep reminding me how everyone is entitled to their opinions, but then you keep picking me up on mine lol.

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emlion
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17 Jan 2011, 10:11 am

murphycop wrote:

emlion wrote:

Condesending.

It's supercool to start arguments, right? :roll:

You keep reminding me how everyone is entitled to their opinions, but then you keep picking me up on mine lol.

It's not your opinion, it's how you express it.
There's a difference between say
'i disagree' and 'your idea is wrong and stupid.'

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17 Jan 2011, 11:40 am

Sallamandrina wrote:

the person and circumstances in which such words are used will make them acceptable or not.

This is pretty much what I was going to say.

When, how, and what tone of voice a person uses when they are talking = everything. Language and socialization are tricky like that.

murphycop
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17 Jan 2011, 1:11 pm

emlion wrote:

murphycop wrote:

emlion wrote:

Condesending.

It's supercool to start arguments, right? :roll:

You keep reminding me how everyone is entitled to their opinions, but then you keep picking me up on mine lol.

It's not your opinion, it's how you express it.
There's a difference between say
'i disagree' and 'your idea is wrong and stupid.'

So I have no freedom of expression? That other woman told me I didn't know what I was talking about, and should stop typing. Thats exactly the same. So pull the wool from your eyes.

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