Mini skirts, feminism and equality

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Schneekugel, you have SUCH a way with words!

I’m highly doubtful about this supposed inability of a man, or even a teenage boy, to focus on anything else just because they see a pretty female body, no matter how partly or fully naked. If anything, in my puberty, I actually had great trouble looking at some girls I found particularly mesmerizing, because I was so embarrassed. They were like magical creatures to me, but it never inspired me to hurl inappropriate words at them, or to stare, or even to tell anybody how hard it was for me not to do something to stand out, because it simply was not the case.

In fact, I had to learn that boys were supposed to act like that, as it never came natural for me. Therefore, I’ve always been under the impression that they do it only to prevent others from questioning their manliness, or a similar social issue that tends to look like utter folly to socially naïve people like me.

I’ve never had the slightest trouble going to a nice beach, full of beatiful, scantily clad women, with my class notes, and studying there for a few hours. It was simply a pleasant background I paid little attention to. It was quite shocking for me to find out other guys considered that environment too distracting. The fact that I’ve never had any expectation of being able to go out with a girl, or anything remotely similar, might have helped a little, though.

Some women get really quite angry if they feel rejected by a man who they see as not giving them attention (even if the men are having an off day, or simply can't find a way to express attention).

There's often no surefire way to 'win'.

You look fine. I'm not doing this to hit on you, but you look fine.

Your low self-esteem is your real problem, not your looks. There are some real boilers who don't have the self-esteem issues that you have, and they can still attract male attention.

Seconded and I agree with every word

As a man, I'm very bothered to be seen as being entirely at the mercy of my instincts, incapable of any self control and this is a myth perpetuated mostly by men. I might not be able to control some urges or sexual thoughts but you can bet I can control my behaviour and actions, at least to the extent of staying within the boundaries of civilised behaviour

In civilised society it's either extremely rude or illegal to touch, grope, leer lasciviously or make nasty comments no matter what people wear or do. On the other hand, a discreet glance would very rarely be sanctioned or ill received. It would also be highly unreasonable to let men dress as they want during summer and ask women to wrap themselves up because some are supposedly incapable of dealing with seeing their bodies. And once again, it's insulting to think all men will completely loose control of themselves at the sight of an uncovered thigh. Those who do, either can't be bothered to put some work in it as Schneekugel says or they are in need of professional help.



That would be very nice in theory but where do you draw the line? Loud colours hurt my eyes and sometimes trigger headaches, should others not be allowed to wear them? I won't even mention body odour, while it's seen as rude to stink, it's still legal and in some places not exactly infrequent. You'll always find someone being annoyed or offended by virtually anything, if we were forced to stop doing all these things, no one would ever leave the house.

There is a local female humourist that is somewhat known for her comic strips because they have been featured in some of the major magazines.

I came accross some of her stuff and she was brilliant at making you laugh with a couple of drawings so when I saw she had a book out I had to buy it.

The book would be translated to : Jerks dont give out flowers(are all guys jerks or only those we like). I was a bit confused by the title but her comic strips were good enough to make me buy it and read it within two days.

Throughout the book she goes through all the kind of guys you can meet when you go out to a disco/whatever.

The book starts with flies(guys that you meet at a bar and start buzzing around you/ become annoying as a fly because you cant get rid of them) and it ends with the asperger´s jerk(Im actually not making this up, she gave names to all the guys she dated and the last one was aspergers jerk)

Throughout 150 pages we are given an insight into all kinds of guys you may meet yet the only difference between a fly and the aspergers jerk is that flies approached her when she didnt want to be approached and she was dying for the asperger´s jerk to approach her and he refused to acknowlodge her advances and she is honest about this.

I think she blamed her past partners for all her troubles but she managed to make this jerk shaming clear without going into name calling or anything.

There is one common factor in all of her failed relationships - Her. One would think that an intelligent woman would take note of just the one little fact that she is the single most common factor in all of her dating problems.



Would you please PM me with the title and author of that book? Thank you.

Said boilers mainly get attention by wearing unflattering but revealing clothes that they don't have the body for. It's not good attention. It's the kind of attention you see on those porn site ads that say 'ugly, lonely girls need banging NOW!'. They get attention from men because they look like they're gagging for it, not because they're good looking. I want to have sex with someone who doesn't think of me that way.

Also, some girly girls think you must be a lez if you don't put in the same effort with make-up and stuff as they do. So if I'm looking at them, they can clock pretty quickly that it's not because I'm wondering where they bought their dress. And those girls tend to think anyone who isn't 'making an effort' is ugly, so from their point of view, I'm minging as well as mega-gay. Sure they wouldn't mind being perved on by Rihanna, or whatever bland celebrity they say they'd go gay for, but being perved on by someone who actually looks like a normal non-hetero - that's just disgusting!

I wasn't talking so much about how I see myself, but how other people see me. To the sort of people who show themselves off, I'm unattractive.

Last edited by puddingmouse on 03 May 2013, 3:22 pm, edited 9 times in total.

Most of her humour is based on local stereotypes so they dont know if it ll work outside of Spain and she hasnt been translated as far as I know(same thing has been happening to local humourists for a while so Spanish humour rarely gets out of Spain).

You may be in luck if you speak spanish or catalonian
http://libros.fnac.es/a855888/Raquel-Co ... lan-flores
http://libros.fnac.es/a847903/Els-capul ... alen-flors

I think ghillie suits and camo clothes are more attractive. Who can resist a mountain lady walking past in a ghillie suit with the hood off? But anyways, why are short shorts attractive? I am more personality guy. I'd rather get going with a girl that likes hunting, blacksmithing, anime, eating bear meat, and mma so she can teach me. I don't know why other guys don't go after that instead of looks, seems pretty straight forward as to why it is better. I actually don't go heels over head for short shorts, so you don't have to worry about me.

Short shorts are attractive because they show leg. Same reason miniskirts are attractive.

While I am not hot (no, not fishing for compliments - I'm passable, not hot) and I don't have big boobs, one thing that I do have is great legs. I always have. I lucked out in the leg department completely. Being tall and having very long legs doesn't hurt either. Back in the 80's when short skirts were in again, I would wear one to achieve a certain look (post punk/pre grunge in the area I lived in) and also to draw the eye away from my other shortcomings. Stiletto's or Candie's were a must with the look. I did not mind getting guys to talk to me because of that. Not one bit. I figured that the legs were the hook and I could reel them in with personality if I liked them. This sometimes worked.

I also wore Daisy Dukes a lot but not to show off leg, I just wore them because that's what everybody wore then. To this day if I wear shorts I won't wear those Bermuda type shorts that other gals my age wear, I wear the short blue jean shorts because if I'm gonna wear shorts it's because it's hot as hell outside of the house and I have to walk somewhere. Also, because I don't want tan lines midway down my legs either.

I remember back in the 80's when guys wore short shorts. DH was watching Magnum PI on Netflix the other day and the kids could not believe the shorts that the guys wore back then or the fact that regular guys actually sometimes wore speedos then on the beach. And that porn star type facial hair was in and that guys would actually appear shirtless without shaving their chests. Matter of fact, DH used to have this one pair of cutoff's he always wore in the late 80's that were not only short enough to sometimes show ball, but tight enough to show the outline of everything else. Sadly, that look was not uncommon around where we lived. To this day he still prefers wearing shorts at least halfway up the thigh. He buys those kind now that look like 1970's boy's gym teacher shorts. You know the type. With the made in crease.

Er, no, not at all. One can still exude that air of sexiness whilst being pretty physically unattractive. You can wear conservative clothing whilst you do it.



Hang on - what if you just can't be arsed?

What if I don't fancy having the shave I should have had a week ago? What if I don't put on my three splashes of Aventus on?

No-one thinks I'm gay. Or ugly. I can still flirt (and at times women flirt back), even though I look like a rat's bum cheek.

(I do wonder if having a homosexual experience will be just like going on that swimming bath jet thing where the water spurts right up one's anus, though. If it's anything like that, it'll be quite pleasant.)



I show myself up all the time, and I wouldn't say you were a boiler.

If you don't like the game that's being played in front of you, change the game. Look for other people to play with. There are loads of them.

Gay men are usually higher maintenance than straight men, but with homosexual women, it's the opposite. It would be more analogous if you walked around in a tight t-shirt with plucked brows and fake tan - then people would think you're gay. That's the equivalent of a woman walking around with no make-up, a leather jacket and a check shirt (which I often do).

Sexiness is more dependant on looks for women than it is for men, according to mainstream society, at least.

What I'm trying to say is that if you want a decent man to hump you, that shouldn't be a problem.

(I'm no longer interested.)

I agree with the posters who said that the whole "men can't help themselves" thing is demeaning. Of course they can. They are just socialised into not believing they should. And that hurts women (literally) and hurts men too. Because society blames women for wearing inappropriate or "tempting" clothing - straight out of the fashion mags! - and give men a pass on behaving like they are entitled to grope, insult or leer at others.

If you are comfortable in a mini skirt, wear it. If you are not comfortable in a mini skirt, don't wear it. But what someone does or doesn't wear in no way entitles you to their body, their attention or their time. That is where mini skirts and feminism intersect.

Ditto for men without shirts, with tight shorts, with track suit pants on, whatever. You might be a good looking guy in a pair of speedos running along the main street at lunchtime, that doesn't mean I have the right to "take you up on your game" and either hurl sexual innuendos or put my hands on you.

I get that.

I still get down on myself compared to other women. I always will do.