"Autistic Girls Are Undiagnosed, Underserved and....

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I've suggested a men's forum before and apparently there once was one. I guess it got totally out of control and they had to ditch it.

That's why I suggest making it for male eyes only, just like this female section should be. It's the interaction with the object of their scorn that misogynist love most, if they know there's not going to be a fight they'll bore themselves to death. Even if they don't who cares, it'd basically be a section for the less mature members to be the middle school boys they want to be and no one has to see it in public. No, it won't change their misogynistic attitudes, but it would at least clear it out of serious sections while still allowing some of the immature numbnuts on the site their speech.

You wrote that you wanted an answer about getting in trouble with others and you don't understand why that happens.

I try to follow certain rules I've been told or figured out about that. That doesn't keep me out of trouble but when they make sense to me (as opposed to doing things just because other people want them) following certain rules helps. However there is no guarantee and also sometimes people just get mad, you can't always avoid that.

One rule I try to follow is try not to say anything negative about someone's mother or their child, and if you can't avoid doing so be gentle. That makes sense to me (because most of the time, people either love their mother or are traumatized so either way mothers are likely to be a touchy subject to criticize; and either people love their children and might be upset by criticism or worse they hate their child in which case I don't want to give them something else to be angry about) so I don't mind following it.

A corollary is try not to tell people they themselves are hopeless. Doing so makes people feel bad and one doesn't know for sure what anyone is capable of, so it's just an opinion, not a fact. It can hurt people. And it is unnecessary and unkind. Telling someone something negative they can fix may or may not be reasonable and accepted, I am not suggesting you try to pretend to be other than who you are, only that if you want an easy equation that you can feel good about, i generally go with telling people negative things for a purpose beyond so they know I don't approve, otherwise it's best not to consider not saying anything.

The quote seems to suggest it's ok for some people's potential to go to waste. Telling people they are worthless is unkind, but it is also negative and does not suggest an alternative better path therefore it's likely to get you in trouble.

The connection with being unhappy and being criticized in your life is that what you are accustomed to in terms of how you are treated becomes normal to you, and when you talk as you might be spoken to in your posts, you're being criticized because what seems normal to you doesn't seem normal to everyone.

Most of us here believe that your parents obligation is to you as a young person rather than the other way around. Doesn't mean someone is right or wrong I suppose, but it's important to recognize the differences.

I hope that made sense and is helpful. I am not an expert at all in being socially acceptable, many others here are far better, but one must start somewhere if one wants to grow and move forward. I hope you will choose to consider that others might legitimately and sincerely care about each other.....and even about you, whether that happens IRL or not. I hope it does, but am not sure about that.

It's impossible to deny that a lot of potential goes to waste, and that's what it is.
Nobody worries about that, it's very much the contrary, there's rewards for enabling this in the system,
making it into a personal problem of form or attitude is very much that system working.
"It's your form!!" The norm must be held.

Where would otherwise be the logic behind making lowfunctioning NTs our (security)gardians?
Or the best payed work being in advertising and other useless layers.
That's the problem with holding a job, you'll defend that; it makes you someone 'unwasted', does it really?

Traybon I am confused and don't understand what you are saying. Are you disagreeing?

sorry, it's more about that comment^

That makes sense, thank you for explaining!

Thank you for posting the article. I hope a lot more research will be done (and more books written) in the future about females with autism. I also hope researchers come out with better tests for autism for males and females and both males and females together in general.

It's not the tests that are the problem. Once tested girls will be diagnosed if they have it. It's getting to that stage in the first place that's the problem.

In many locations, girls are still overlooked. I think some areas have gotten better, though.

The article sounds pretty spot-on to me, based on my experience.

I note, AGAIN, that I was one of the lucky ones. I had autistic relatives to understand me, an autistic aunt to pave the way with my NT grandmother such that she took having to ACTIVELY TEACH me things like "How To Interact With the Cashier At the Grocery Store" as a matter of course, and a pretty tolerant environment in which to be an adolescent.

And I'm STILL screwed up with depression, anxiety, PTSD, PDA, and the rest of it. Just not as bad as some people. It flickers and goes out a lot, but there IS light at the end of my tunnel. Even when I can't see it, I can remember that it was there and try to navigate in that general direction. I could have been SO MUCH MORE SCREWED.

Not everyone gets that lucky. With less of the wrong "help," I could have been less screwed-up. So many girls had it even worse, basically for lack of the correct information (and they wonder why we're obsessed with accuracy!!).