Women 'not getting along'

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Both men and women tend to be more judgmental toward their own gender then towards the opposite sex.

But yeah, sometimes I get the impression that women are even more that way then men (more hostile to other women then men are towards other men). Maybe its because men are more extreme. Either stick together OR physically injure each other. Lol!

It was always girls that I had issues with at school. I got on better with boys. The girls were physically and verbally abusive.

As and adult I haven't had any issues with other women being abusive. They generally just don't want me around. They don't invite me out with them. I don't fit in.

I've found some friends now in my mid-30s. No drama. Genuinely nice people.

I don't need to tell you how much better what you've written makes you than your detractors (as a mutual friend would call them).

In my book there's nothing treasonous about a woman wearing a skirt. Anyone who says there is is a bad feminist for policing other women's harmless choices like that.

It's sad that Englishmen and American men and a lot of men in the western world feel like skirted garments are too 'effeminate' for them because they are cooler in summer. Ironically in parts of the middle east not known for feminism, this attitude isn't prevalent. They wouldn't consider their robes to be dresses, the average Scotsman is offended if you call a kilt a skirt but - these are skirted garments rather than garments with two legs.

I kind of feel it myself, too masculine to wear a skirted garment which isn't a kilt. But I do allow myself to wear leggings (not the super tight ones which show everything, in fact probably a size up from what I need) when it's boiling as the feeling of a breeze through thin material is actually cooler than the feel of sun on hot leg.

Maybe why this attitude has taken off in parts of the west is that it's not often hot enough for it to be a practical choice rather than a fashion one? Whereas in the desert, men do it because they're boiling so trousers never really took off. The notion of pyjamas comes from India and they were men's day wear - again most pj bottoms are cooler than most trousers, quite similar to my leggings in fact.

Also a model in those days? And a career woman/business woman to boot? She sounds like a strong minded woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it. She would have been judged no doubt by the conservatives of her day and she certainly doesn't need her granddaughter to be judged nowadays.

Thanks for your kind words, KT67!

Yes, my grandmother was very talented. It started with her making all the clothes for her children in the Great Depression during the 1930s. She did a few department store photo-shoots as a model. By the 1950s my grandparents emigrated to the US (California), and she was designing and modelling full time as a working mother.

She was the best dressed woman I ever met. She still wore beautiful, tailored skirts with heels and hosiery into her 70s, because she was so classy and sophisticated. I actually kept a suede, copper pencil skirt of hers when she passed away, and no one believes me when I say it was my grandmother's. She was a very bright woman and although some of her standards upset me as a child (e.g., she liked me to walk with books on my head, which upset me to no end since I wanted to read them), she was inspirational in her own right ... not because she was "feminine", but because she worked so hard while also raising a large family and acting as the matriarch of us all. It's shameful that some women think modelling is sexist or degrading. In reality, it is a demanding career choice, which any person should be allowed to make. I wouldn't want to do it myself and I don't put that much emphasis on clothing or posture, but I have to applaud my grandmother for the successes that she had.

TW1Z,
I'm sorry you've experienced the same treatment by some men. As you know I have many gay, male friends and I've heard the same from them.

Eh. I can just give my experience.

Both sexes tend to be more judgemental and aggressive towards each other. Guys tend to bully other guys, girls tend to bully other girls. There's a lot of overlap here. I've definitely had guys be jerks to me in school. But that seems to be the general trend.

However, I do think that girls get it worse. Women tend to have better social intuition than men in the first place and I believe that means that they have higher standards towards other women. Guys care a bit less about how socially awkward their buddy may or may not be.

Guys as a whole, particularly when they're older, feel uncomfortable (maybe for chivalrous reasons) being rude to or making fun of random girls. That's seen as a serious low. Unless, of course, you were dating her, in which case she can become the "crazy ex" if you want her to.

So I think it's not that pronounced a difference, but girls are a bit nastier towards other girls in social situations. Our friendships can be more intimate, but that means that they're more difficult to win. Which for us female Autistics, isn't great.

Personally, as someone who is out as a lesbian, I've noticed that my compliments are treated a little bit differently these days. When I compliment a woman, it is sometimes assumed to be flirtatious. However, if I compliment a man sometimes people find it a bit odd. Responses I've gotten include; "Huh, I've never been complimented by a lesbian before", or "it's strange to hear a lesbian say that". Even when it's something as simple as "that colour suits you".

One time I complimented a woman's shoes and my friends assumed that I was flirting. I actually just liked her shoes.

When I was in high school, my female friends stopped hugging me after I came out to them. It felt somewhat bizarre watching them have emotional exchanges and hugging each other, then turning to me and offering a handshake.

These days I have female and male friends who sometimes hug me. I'm not always majorly keen on hugs, but it's nice when someone offers me one. Makes me feel included. I feel a certain amount of social pressure to not complement men, or to only do so to a small degree. People sometimes find it strange or might even question my motivation for doing so.

If I compliment a woman who is known for not being straight, that definitely tends to make people wonder. When I am assumed straight, I can compliment other women without being questioned. However, if someone knows or at least suspects then my compliments tend to be viewed with suspicion. Unless of course I am complimenting a woman that I clearly have no interest in, such as a relative. People don't tend to assume incestuous feelings .

Sometimes the constant assumptions can prove to be annoying. I was walking back from grocery shopping with a male friend of mine one time, and a woman passing us down the street said to me "men, am I right?", and I think I just replied by saying "yeah". I'm not sure what her point was, but I think she assumed that I was dating my friend. That situation made me feel like she was trying to share an in-joke with me but it didn't quite work.

I know straight women who act almost flirtatious with each other and refer to their friends as girlfriends. This is not something I am comfortable with doing personally, as I tend to worry about giving off the wrong impression. I'm not really a touchy person; in fact I can be a little weary of physical contact. However, I am becoming more comfortable with it gradually. Due to this, if I am comfortable with physical contact with someone people tend to assume that I have romantic feelings for the person in question. Especially if I am comfortable with it early on in the friendship. This is not always the case.

As a result, I can be somewhat distant in my friendships. I've no idea how I would begin to flirt or show interest if I liked someone in that way. Can I even flirt? I've no idea. Never flirted in my life.