For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It.

Post Reply New Topic

I seldom see misogyny on Wrong Planet, although there are cycles where it seems more prominent. This is usually perpetuated by trolls who swiftly vanish. There seems to be an equal amount of misandry on this site, and I feel equally bad for men who are maligned against sexist stereotypes. I really hope this thread and others like it will help foster a spirit of egalitarianism rather than acrimonious gender debate.

Us taller men have the same issues too: I literally had to buy a Hyundai Sonata because it was one of the few if any affordable vehicles that I could safely adjust the headrest to my height. All cars are built for the average sized person (like my wife) and the adjustments, as a rule are terrible. Thank whatever Gods are out there I was never rear ended until I got the Sonata: I would probably have permanent neck damage. I'm genuinely curious to know if there are statistics on whether women (or tall men) are more likely to be seriously injured and by how much.

I can add to this thread that building standards for ventilation, temperature, etc are still to this day based on the average male body. Never mind that in most cases, in office jobs women are in the majority!

I have done that every time I spot such a message from him (or anyone.) Doesn't seem to have made a difference so far.

I am inclined to agree, the expressed or insinuated hatred of women is something I see usually with trolls.

What I do see is plenty of sniping and less than respectful comments about and to female posters, but such is the reality of an autism site with international membership.

What irks me also is when female members take swipes at male posters who are actively trying to be respectful and are making changes in their lives. As a person on the spectrum they are the ideal soft target, I try to be a voice of reason in those situations, I cant tolerate it.
Much the same as some of the chaps do when a male member takes a within rules swipe at a female member.

I hate this thread.

Whatever for?

The first post in this thread was a poem by a woman named Carol Diehl, an artist and teacher, as well as something of a humanist. I admire women like her. (Here is her biography.)

Everything else after that has been contributed by others.

Because parts of it aren't even realistic, and most of it sounds exaggerated to mean that these things happen all the time when they don't.

I don't like this thread, either - I find all the "who has it worse" competitions counter-productive - but I'm happy that it got unlocked because now I feel that I do understand the rules. When it got locked, I thought there must have been some unwritten rules I wasn't aware of.

"Unrealistic"? "Exaggerated"? "Who has it worse"?

I thought Ms. Deihl's poem was illuminating, and that some of the follow-up comments were too.

Honestly, I never expected such a negative backlash to real-life personal experiences of women.

(The ones I posted were told to me by female friends and relatives, by the way.)

Whoever has it worse, should seek to make it less worse.

I have unlocked this thread, though please take care to post with consideration for the rules and other members, if conflict breaks out again, the thread may be removed altogether.

Okay, I didn't like the poem because my experience of being a woman is completely unrelatable to it.

Men are bigger than me but the ones really smarter than me are smart enough not to abuse it - and those who only think they are smarter learn their limits the hard way.


I don't believe single persons start wars. It's much more complex process, even when there is an exposed individual to blame.


I've had exactly one real life and one online friend with history of being raped. Two is too many, preferred number would be zero.


Never got into physical contact with any trooper carrying a gun.


I know a lot of women in really high paying jobs, even from my parents' generation. From statistics, it seems ex-socialist states have it better with workplace equality.


A lot of men seem to believe it.


You really have this issue in America? That's f-ing rude as hell! No one ever did it to me!


WTF?


I can image something like this but most car mechanics with greasy hands do their best to be polite.


Avoiding women magazines is healthy. Avoiding men magazines is healthy, too.


I would report it if my gynecologist behaved so unprofessional.


Nope. Sleeping with bosses was never part of my job, nor part of the job of anyone I know.


My dress code was never so strict. My sister-i-law was required to wear "at least a tiny heel" but the guys in her company had to wear suits year-round, regardless of heat.


I care only for a few persons who want me to love them.



I don't say experience of other women isn't like the one described in the poem - but it's not my experience. Maybe it's because of different country, different culture. Maybe my social group and upbringing. Maybe just me.

What if
While walking in the streets of New York your experience was like this


No jerking motions in the video but I have seen that plenty of times.

Seems Warsawians are more polite overall than New Yorkers.
I walked alone in many European cities and even some in the Middle East. The only place I was catcalled was London - by some Pakistani men.
I told them to get off and they did.

Again, I totally don't mean to invalidate experiences of other women from other places. Maybe even I would like to shout - Hey, it doesn't have to look like that! Being a woman doesn't mean you have to experience all that sh!t! You can demand basic politeness from other people!

I think this could be a problem in some parts of America, I cant relate to the overt examples either.

For me its the limited subtle and not so subtle unwanted physical contact that can happen in social situations involving alcohol.

Here a chap is very likely to be told where to go if he is crossing boundaries in that way and it would be just as impolite a response.

Though younger boys tend to be more overt, or less able to hide their antics.... like last time I went swimming and in the mixed part of the changing rooms afterwards they werent being subtle, but a stern glare was enough to put them off.

This worked as it's a small community and I might know someone they are related to, or the staff might, so there are real life consequences.

I guess the concern here is that it's an international site and I'm not tolerant of experiencing the mindset thats more commonplace in countries where the poets examples are real.

One thing I would object to is the New Jersey turnpike reference, it's a bit too political for my liking.

Can you explain me what the New Jersey turnpike thing is? I couldn't find out even with Google.