How do you get a guy to leave you alone?

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yeah. I agree.

Or tell him you're not interested.

What's the worst he could do?

It's not like he's gonna take an assault rifle and massacre the town just because you're not interested.

Actually there are fruitcake guys that have done similar things, well maybe not killed an entire town, but have went ballistic.

I've been giving him the cold shoulder all week. Now he storms past my desk so fast that he creates a wind and makes the papers fly off my desk. Tonight he stormed by and said "b***h" under his breath.

Is there any chance of your identifying a woman who might be romantically inclined towards this gentleman, and pawning him off that way?

My best friend (Who is also a lesbian) used to get the message to guys by making sure they saw her wearing some sort of visible gay-pride symbol...like a pin with a saying or something.

I'm not going to get his parents involved he is 28 and I don't know them. I'm sorry if I made it sound like he was a minor. Maybe I didn't write it very well. Why would I think that is something to laugh at?

There is no reason to think he is gay, and even if he his he definitely doesn't like this guy. He wouldn't have told us about this otherwise.

What he is very depressive and has social phobia. He has panic attacks regularly. But dispute this he forces himself to go out very night. If he has a bad panic attack he needs to go out more. He thinks of it as some good thing but really I think it is self harm. But at the same time he feels he can't bare to spend one minute on his own. I find this hard to relate to. He actually has loads of friends. But still he has to get more an more. He doesn't realise it won't help him.

He has been trying to get rid of this person for 6 months. He is just not good a standing up to people. He doesn't see that it is just easy to walk away. He has the misconception the there is a 'right' way to do it. But he is just not at that stage yet. He thinks he is able to get into an argument but can't. I wouldn't do it and I’m much more improved than him That is why I told him to break it down into realistic steps, if that what he wants. This person is not important, there will be more important situations that this. He doesn’t use logic or see it as a no brainier even though he is a physicist. All he has to do is change his mobile number.

We managed to convince him not to go. I was trying to get him to text the guy the night before to tell him what he thought, which was that the guy was a freak and he won't be coming or hanging out with him again. He just couldn't do it. He thought that he would be able to stand up to him. I told him if he waited to the morning that he won't be able to do it. So he made some excuse. In the morning he still wasn't able to argue with the guy, but still he did well. The guy called him a 'soft cock' for not coming. I thought hat was the shitest insult I ever heard So I'm proud of him anyway. I think I've convinced him that it doesn't matter and to change his number.

Basically my technique was to keep calling him up. But at the same time I'm his friend, that guy was taking advantage and would have continued to.

uh he's the laughing stock of the women at work. so i don't know who i'd pawn him off on. i don't know any single women his age. he is over 15 yrs younger than me. i just don't know anyone his age group. he is also pestering this other much younger lady, but she has a steady guy. he dresses like a damn dork and wears his hair like his momma must be a beautician from the 1970's so the women laugh at him. he's a nerd and acts like the average young AS guy so again everyone thinks he's a dork so how am I suppose to fix him up with someone else.

i don't even own that symbol kind of stuff. it's so passe anymore. i don't think dork brain would get it because he leads such a sheltered life he won't know what the symbols mean. without any symbols everyone else at work figured out i'm lesbian and they regard me as such. i tried to tell my boss about dorkhead but my boss assumes its a young woman harassing me and he told me to have fun with it and enjoy her attention. then a straight woman who was standing in the office with my boss said "hey just sleep with her and move on".

Is there no-one in your age group who would have him?

Have you seen the play/movie "Pygmalion", turned into the musical "My Fair Lady?" Maybe you (or someone your age who is lonely but heterosexual) could take on the challenge of turning him into something a bit more socially acceptable, and then maybe see whether someone in his age group ends up finding him appealing.

Tell him you have a girlfriend ( doesn't matter if you do or not) and aren't interested in him or any other guy. If he gets really creepy even after that I'd consider keeping the # of the police on speed-dial.

That's great you were able to keep him from going. But the guy sounds really messed up. Does he have AS? He sounds like he has a lot of childhood issues when he isn't able to be alone by himself.

The guy that called him a "soft cock" used the kind of language that suggests indeed what they had in mind was raping this guy and trying to convert him. Some gay men are cruel and they will seek out the weakling straight men or those that act "confused" and convert them to the lifestyle. I think you do need to get his parents or a minister or a much older saavy person in his life involved. Your friend is too immature for his age and is going to get physically injured if he doesn't smarten up fast. You guys need to loose this gay creep in a hurry somehow. I beat this guy does hard drugs too and was going to get your friend addicted.

Yes but that is usually the case with social phobia. But the main reason he can't be alone is more to do with depression and self loathing. I don't think he is AS, I would have found it easy to cut out that person. I don't have this illogical way of thinking that it is important to do it the 'right' way. An AS person might be lonely sometimes doesn't any problem being on their own normally they have more 'me time'.

I don't know the weirdo. He is not my friend. I would have probably blocked him the second I got to know him. He sounds quite odd from the offset. I've basically only got two friends who I see all the time. I don't need many. They have many more. I only ever met my male friend's friends from university. They seem ok. I wouldn't see them regularly though. Every now and then is fine.

Well if did spring to mind 'soft cock' was double entendre. See soft in the UK also means weak and cock is also an insult as well.

Well I know the weirdo was trying to get him to 'lighten up' so that is what the charley is for. Immature It is more to do with not being able to stand up to himself it think and feeling he owes people something. This is a common belief with NT social phobics. I can't and won’t get his parent involved and he is Jewish atheist. Really, I think it is over now just close shave. Getting his parents involved would not be helpful I don't think. I appreciate where you come from but a. It won't make him grown up b. they don't necessarily need to know about these things and I don't want to be the one to tell them. I don't know them and I don't want to know them. I don't know any of my friend’s parents really. I don’t want to cause embarrassment for my friend and make him more f****d up. If I thought he was in danger I would call the police. I met the father of a friend I see less often because he went to drinks were this friend was giving the invitations to his wedding. The father was ok but still I wouldn’t ever contact him and I definitely do not want him to know too much about me. Just on a superficial basis for the wedding, etc. Usually I struggle with people I can't relate to, but that guy was alright then. He was not anything like my parents friends. I can't stand my parents friends, they have no concept of AS and are really nosey and always ask the same questions. The only people I'm in regular contact over 50 are my martial arts instructor, and my parents. I don't mind seeing people of any age that are AS or I knew I could definitely relate to them.

In case anyone cares to hear my continuing story, Patrick didn't show up at church so that was a relief. I tried to tell one of the church elders and she just thought it was funny. Dammit no one takes me seriously that he is stalking me.

Well guess what he shows up today at work with a new haircut. Remember how I mentioned his bad hair? And how I suspect he is backtracking me on the work computer reading what I post here. Not only is it a new haircut, but he had his hair cut like mine. Or like mine was as I also got my haircut this weekend with a a new style. He told me he was going to try to make it back to attending the church services and that maybe we could still sit together. Yeah right sicko! I told him I was thinking of leaving the church and he got his expression on his face like the Earth fell out from under him. Good Lord this kid is a sicko following after a dyke and getting his hair cut like one. I mean there are at least 50 young, skinny, cute straight girls at work and he decides to chase after me. I feel like I got a damn groupie.

Starting to remind me of the movies "Single White Female" or "It's Pat". Since his name is Patrick tell him your favorite movie is "Its Pat" but you hate that guy stocking Pat in the movie.

why don't you have some fun and let him overhear you say you get turned on by tattoos, tongue studs or other body piercings - lol

I'm starting to suspect that you're getting sweet on him.

I've never seen either movie. Sounds like it would give me nightmares if I did. I'm not one of those relationships movies type of person.