Where Males stand in this forum

Post Reply New Topic

no, it wasn't the produce section. But it was the toy section, and the home section - different stores, different guys.



If they're touching yoru breasts, they're being a**holese about it. If they are staring at you wideeyed, they are being a**holes about it, if they are making any remarks about you, they are being a** holes about it



I have a right to keep guys from looking at whatever part of my body I see fit. Why is it you feel that guys have more of a right to drool over me than I have a right to be thought of as a real person instead of a sex object? There have been studies down where women who say, show cleavage, are considered significantly less intelligent by their male counterparts, and are far less likely to be taken seriously at work. Why is that - because the men are seeing them as something to bed, not as a person just like they are.



You clearly don't understand what checking someone out is. A guy grabbing your breastsm, or making an effort to bump into your crotch, or saying, "I'd hit that" is not checking you out. He's being perverted and treating you like a beast



better to do that than to stare wideeyed, drool, and refuse to so much as glance as away. Especially considering I was a teenager when all this was going on.

I don't have any trouble getting down on a one-ton-level with guys when I'm dressed in baggy clothes. When I'm dressed in "typical girl fashion" I'm lucky if I can get msot guys to glance up at my face and pay attention to half of what I say.

You can say "well you dont' know guys' or whatever well fine. But know that at all but one of ever jobs I've held at leas 90% of the employees were men, all my friends are male, and so are all of my active role models. I know how guys talk about women, and what they say about the ones they stare out - because I'm there for those conversations and have been for the bulk of my life (you know the conversations they whisper and only allude to when females are present). I've been told and more than once, that I'm not a girl and that was never meant as an insult.

Whatever. My current realization is that you and I are so polarized on this topic that we probably ought to drop in. I'm moving along.[/quote]

Than maybe you shouldn't dress so provocatively. Why do you women think that you should get to have it both ways?
If you choose to flaunt your sexuality than dont complain if men flaunt theirs! If you dress sex, or even attractively its only a matter of time before you'll attract unwanted attention. You have a right not to be harassed, followed, and fondled without your consent but you DONT have a right to dictate where other people(men included)choose to look. Maybe you dont like it that way, but thats just the way it is;get used to it.

You haven't read a word I've wrote have you? The most provocatively i've ever dress is a pair of jean shirts, a typically cut t-shirt, and a sports bra. I shudder to think how you must act in society if you consider that to be sexually provocative. - thats what was leading to the groping , and why i started wearing oversized clothing.

God, I can only imagine how you must react around women who wear short shorts, or low cut tops, or tight clothing, if you consider t-shirt and jean shorts to be flaunting sexuality.

Yeah....I dont stare at women unless they're Really flaunting it: miniskirts, short-shorts, low-cut tops. But men stare, what can you do about it? You can confront them if they're being obnoxious and wont stop if asked nicely but I dont think its realistic to completely prevent it. Women stare at me too sometimes, and its usually with a look of disgust or disaproval on their face. I usually confront them and demand to know what they're staring at and that often gets them to stop. Perhaps you might do the same if some guy is staring at you. Say to him: "whatcha starin' at bub?!" But groping certainly is totally unacceptable AFAIC regardless of what society a person lives in. Unwanted touching is a violation of a persons private property in the most intrusive and degrading way possible.

Triangular_Trees, I'm saying this out of concern, not out of spite or bad feelings. If you are not currently in some sort of therapy to work on the issues you have with men and your feelings about your own body, I strongly suggest you seek out this therapy. It is apparent through your posts that your issues go quite beyond the scope of healthy. There is a common theme to many of your posts throughout the WP forums, and that is an inability to make peace with your body. While some people do cross boundaries, you seem to see yourself as a victim more often than I suspect you actually are victimized. This tells me you feel powerless, you've lost a sense of control in your life. Perhaps you've fallen victim to some abuses, and thus you see the world as a hostile place and your body as a device through which you can be exploited. These aren't uncommon reactions, but they do require help from a qualified professional if you are to ever function properly in society without these paranoid feelings and such great animosity toward the male gender. Your reactions and feelings about men have reached a point of dysfunction. The sense of control you need cannot be attained by expecting to control others minds, thoughts and actions. You control you, nothing more. That should be plenty. You cannot expect people to avert their eyes from you all the time, nor does it mean they are treating you as a "sex object" when they do look. I don't think that I am anywhere near qualified to help you to understand this, but I do hope that you can find someone who is.

I'm going to give you a number you can call. It's free, it's national (I think you're in the USA?), it's confidential and they can help point you in the right direction. 1-800-656-HOPE is the number to RAINN, Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network. The provide counseling by phone, by internet and are available 24/7. They also focus on prevention, which I think would help you to re-establish some of that sense of control you need over your own life.

Good luck.

http://www.rainn.org/counseling-centers/index.html

Being a male, I don't feel any constraints to post a reply in women's discussions. Both, male's and female's posts can be stupid and off-topic, thus there is no reason to filter the male's posts only.

Contrariwise (and maybe suprisingly), many females are willing to discuss those "women's things" with males. Well, they don't expect any relevant answer. Instead, they expect different point of view. It would be a mistake to simply ignore the male's posts just because "men cannot really understand".

It's hard to believe, but women are not just objects of sexual desire for some of us. First of all, they are interesting and complicated human beings, with different feelings and interests. And this difference is the real reason attracting our attention. That's why we like to read discussions like this one. That's why we like to post our replies there.

Nope, I'm at peace with my body. What I'm not at piece with is that if I wear anything but a baggy t-shirt most guys won't so much as glance at my face - others have noticed that as well, its not just me. My breasts are huge, added to that I have a small frame which makes them look even larger. When I'm in baggy clothes i'm just one of the guys - and I'm presented for all their talk about the women in their life (and trust me if you heard that, you wouldn't want to be a woman in most of their lives). Heck the guys at work were only whispering this stuff for my first two days before they decided they could talk openly in front

If it was easy yes I'd quickly get a breast reduction/removal. WHy not? The breasts serve no purpose to someone who never wants to get pregnant, and they get in the way of carrying objects in cuddling. But that in no way means I'm disgusted by them. I jsut have as much use for them as I do earwax.

Oh geez, give the poor boys a section of their own. Put them out of their misery here...

I suggest they are given a section of their own so that we can invade it and annoy them.

They had a section of their own before and it mostly degenerated into gratuitous filth.

I posted a very personal medical issue in this forum and got a reply from a male. I wasn't happy about that, as I posted it in this sub-forum in order to keep it as a "women-only" thing. I make no apology to any man for not wanting them to read - never mind COMMENT - on my issue.

What is more, I realise I should have said in my subject-header: "NO MEN TO READ THIS PLEASE", but to be honest, as the info on the forum list page states that men are not allowed in this sub-forum, why would I expect a man to even LOOK at my post?

Not happy, Jan.

Fiona
PS: I have nothing against the male who answered, however how come he replied if the forum list page state no men are to go into the sub-forum?

You put something on the Internet message board, you can't stop men from reading it. They might be able to help, they might not. Goes with the territory I'm afraid. I'd be happy of the help, personally.

But isn't it rude to ignore a request to NOT enter a particular sub-forum? Too bad if you don't think it's fair, if it says "NO MEN ALLOWED", then men should not enter that forum.

Fiona

They shouldn't and it might be considered a little disrespectful but they're going to do it anyway. It's the Internet and it's only natural. And the 'women's forum' posts show up along with the others in the 'latest posts' pages.

Oh, I see. It's natural to be inconsiderate of others' wishes.

How silly of me to not realise that.

And if a woman says "I don't want men replying to this post", I guess she should just have to put up with that.

If I don't want you replying to an issue, then don't.

It's NOT an open sub-forum, it's a women-only one, and good grief, if men really want their own 'men-only' sub-forum, then why the heck not? And men making comments such as "but what if we don't want our own sub-forum?" is a moot point.

Fiona

Sorry for the confusion about this, Fiona. I'm uncomfortable deleting specific posts from your thread because I have not been instructed on this particular issue. I am going to ask the other mods for their thoughts on this rule that Hale_Bopp posted. For now, please be advised that men will be posting in this section of the forums.

Oh, if you want me to remove the whole thread, since you're now aware that men can and do browse this section, just say the word.