How important is looking 'feminine'?

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What I have to remind myself of--because I have a tendency not to care about such things until I feel the lack of something that would come as a consequence of caring--is that what is hard wired is perhaps the tendency to accept group definitions of masculine and feminine and therefore, whoever feels the lack should look to the definitions of those whose attention he/she feels the lack of. Look to the target and choose your weapon, so to speak. So, if you want to attract the kind of guy who wears wigs, brocade and tights, see how comfortable you can feel in what he would find attractive. etc. etc.

So the men who like a woman who's 'dressed to the nines' should spend a day in a corset and heels? I like it!

um, if that's what floats your boat. I suppose I was referring to a non-contemporaneous standard of masculinity, as an example.

It doesn't 'float my boat' - I'm more into the flannel-and-a-t-shirt type. I was assuming that you were talking about a way to encourage sympathy in people who expect their partners to conform to unrealistic norms.

I guess it was the "I like it!" that threw me off. Yeah, unrealistic expectations. Now, there's another problem. No matter how realistic you are with yourself, you might end up with someone who isn't realistic with you.

I really do like the poetic justice of your idea - I hear so many men saying that women who hate (or who flat-out refuse to wear) high heels are 'whining,' or some derivative therof. But, who knows? If I wore a necktie for a day, maybe I'd have some sympathy too.

as far as avoiding and unrealistic partner - two years ago, I would have said, 'that's why I date aspie men!' because the least deluded, most realistic guy I ever dated was an aspie, and that was part of why I liked him. Since joining this list, though, I've found that aspie men can be just as unrealistic about women - even more so, sometimes - than the average NT.

Women's Apparel Department topic

Clothing is a medium that sends a message.

In other words, what is worn is a statement, much like a graphic tee shirt.

As much as I try, I cannot stop my clothes from screaming at others.

Shut up shirt. Be silent, jeans.

Falls on deaf ears!! !

It's not that important to me.

Sid :O)

I dress mostly to suit myself. I do look female, but not really feminine...not that important to me. I really don't care if I don't measure up for anyone else. I do wear some makeup, nothing really obvious. I also love my jeans, camo or yoga pants, tank tops & sport bras. LOL I rarely ever wear a dress or a skirt. Just too fussy & most dressy outfits just don't feel comfortable. I like shoes/sandals that look nice but they must also be comfortable.

Looking back on old pics, it's pretty easy for me to realize why so many people thought I was a lesbian. I'm straight actually, but most people just assumed & didn't ask about my orientation. Oh well, doesn't matter much these days. I do my own thing anyway.