How come all the female aspies here seem so convinced...

Page 4 of 6 [ 82 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

11 Apr 2011, 3:40 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I think you're taking my opinion personally.


No, very clearly you must think that I am a horrible, horrible human being for wearing mascara. Just admit it. :wink:



TeaEarlGreyHot
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,982
Location: California

11 Apr 2011, 3:44 pm

wefunction wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I think you're taking my opinion personally.


No, very clearly you must think that I am a horrible, horrible human being for wearing mascara. Just admit it. :wink:


Okay, you twisted my arm. I think anyone that wears make-up is a whore only concerned with their outward appearance.


:-P


_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.


wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

11 Apr 2011, 3:58 pm

Okay, I missed where this topic took a sharp turn into a debate over cosmetics, probably because my hormones took a brief visit to the Shire; but since we're here...

We can discuss the history of make-up and the patriarchy but what's the use? We all know the history and we all know there's a male privilege that influences us whether we like it or not. I'm not condoning the patriarchy nor am I accepting it. I think it's best to ignore the elephant in the room for the debate as it relates to women wearing cosmetics, shaving their legs or wearing high heels.

There's no mistaking that if a woman feels more confident wearing a layer of minerals that she is more confident. This is really nothing more magical than wearing clothes that make you feel good. However, if a woman feels silly wearing make-up, there's no reason for her to ever wear it. Any gains that she may receive from altering her appearance wearing make-up (by mainstream standards) would be lost in her awkward demeanor and negative energy. She'd be just a ball of discomfort and awkward with a smooth complexion.

I don't think wearing make-up makes one a liar, nor does it even mean one is misrepresenting oneself. Cosmetics is prevalent in our society so men generally expect that women are wearing make-up. This means it is expected that a woman's complexion may not be as perfect as it appears because she will be wearing make-up to smooth it, her height may not be as tall because she will be wearing heels to increase it, her waistline may not be as narrow because she will be wearing spanx to decrease it. These are common expectations whether or not any woman engages in these grooming and dressing habits. The men who are generally aghast with women whose eyes aren't really that blue or who wasn't a natural blonde are generally viewed as strange, silly men for getting upset with such things. A friend of mine has an ex who felt betrayed because she wasn't a natural redhead. They never had a conversation where she claimed she was a natural redhead so he's generally viewed as an idiot.

With that said, a woman is not obligated to accept or participate in any of these activities. I don't think anyone really thinks make-up is the source of oppression but it certain is reasonable to not see a purpose for it and refuse to put it on your skin.

For myself, I wear make-up because it makes me feel good. It's fun to experiment and play, and I feel comfortable. I also wear perfume and the scent that I wear matters to me. I can name certain periods in my life based on the scent that I was wearing at that time. The problem is that I don't REMEMBER to do it. So many times I walk out the door and forgot to put on make-up, do my hair or dab on some perfume.



Moopants
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 122
Location: UK

11 Apr 2011, 4:42 pm

Aesthetically nothing to write home about but internally my veins, vital organs and blood are beautiful and you should all be jealous of my intestines!

I hate when people ask about aesthetics. I'm ugly, I'm well aware of that. In the right light at a certain angle Im not too bad as long as my multiple chins dont show up but if I'm honest I dont care. Cant change how I look any more than I can change how I am.

My partner likes me and my child thinks I'm beautiful and they are the only two people on this planet I'd ever listen to.

I cant say Ive noticed anyone on the forum discuss how gorgeous they are (male or female) but who cares if they do? Good for them having the confidence to say so.



TeaEarlGreyHot
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,982
Location: California

11 Apr 2011, 4:56 pm

I sudden;y feel the need to clarify that I have no opinion of women that wear make-up. I have my opinions on what make-up is *for*, but am well aware that not every female uses it in such a manor.

It's just what it means to me.


_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.


ford_prefects_kid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 594
Location: Los Angeles, CA

11 Apr 2011, 10:39 pm

I guess the "keeping relationships platonic" thread was the last one I read before making this, but I saw it in a couple others as well.



TeaEarlGreyHot
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,982
Location: California

11 Apr 2011, 10:46 pm

ford_prefects_kid wrote:
I guess the "keeping relationships platonic" thread was the last one I read before making this, but I saw it in a couple others as well.


You still haven't said what's so bad about it.


_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.


hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

11 Apr 2011, 10:48 pm

ford_prefects_kid wrote:
I guess the "keeping relationships platonic" thread was the last one I read before making this, but I saw it in a couple others as well.

true, i didn't notice that thread. but Tea has a good point, above.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

11 Apr 2011, 10:52 pm

Make up is okay.
I don't wear it much. But a tiny amount does enhance peoples apperances.

Sometimes though it does hide peoples faces, and my ex flatmate wore it to "cover up blotchs" on her face. Sometimes its used in that way.



Sallamandrina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,590

11 Apr 2011, 10:54 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I tend to see my flaws as enhancements. I would never want to be perfect.

Words of wisdom, especially if they are not taken literally :wink:


_________________
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)


TeaEarlGreyHot
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,982
Location: California

11 Apr 2011, 10:59 pm

Sallamandrina wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I tend to see my flaws as enhancements. I would never want to be perfect.

Words of wisdom, especially if they are not taken literally :wink:


Why thank you. :-)


_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.


Sallamandrina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,590

11 Apr 2011, 11:09 pm

The self acceptance behind those words is quite rare unfortunately.

Seeing make up as being ashamed of yourself is a bit dramatic though :P It can actually be used in many ways and for many reasons. I sometimes do it to look older, I'm sick of getting carded.

I don't use it often but I find it fun - the way you can play with colour and shape has an artistic/aesthetic dimension I enjoy.


_________________
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)


TeaEarlGreyHot
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,982
Location: California

11 Apr 2011, 11:11 pm

Sallamandrina wrote:
The self acceptance behind those words is quite rare unfortunately.

Seeing make up as being ashamed of yourself is a bit dramatic though :P It can actually be used in many ways and for many reasons. I sometimes do it to look older, I'm sick of getting carded.

I don't use it often but I find it fun - the way you can play with colour and shape has an artistic/aesthetic dimension I enjoy.


I don't think people are automatically ashamed of themselves when they use make-up. It's just the message the make-up sends me. IDK... it's hard to explain. lol


_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.


Sallamandrina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,590

11 Apr 2011, 11:19 pm

I think I get it, it's the pressure of using it and in a certain way that also annoys me. I understand why someone would want to hide blemishes, but I'm dismayed how many women collapse under the pressure of airbrushed pics and start caking the stuff because they suddenly feel they're not "perfect" enough. And it becomes a huge turn off when it's abused and misused.


_________________
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)


TeaEarlGreyHot
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,982
Location: California

11 Apr 2011, 11:26 pm

Yes, thank you. To be fair, I caved and wore some at my wedding. It was hardly noticeable, but still there.


_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.


wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

11 Apr 2011, 11:44 pm

I spent an embarrassing amount of time learning how to do make-up for brunettes when I dyed my hair black.

I love the smokey eye look.

I'm not good about wearing lipstick. I don't like how it gets on stuff. I like wearing lip gloss because it's shiny and goes on easily.

I also have brand loyalty. I'm a CoverGirl. I tried natural mineral make-up from Etsy sellers but for some reason it just wasn't as easy to use so I abandoned it for the pressed and commercialized mass-produced stuff with the CG label. I have a friend who's totally into all the natural make-up and knows way more than I do about everything. She's also willing to spend five times more for everything than I am. I think it's highway robbery that a tube of lip gloss costs me $6.

The other day for my meeting. I slicked my black hair straight back into a ponytail, did a smokey eye, adding some bronzer to even out my sunburn and add definition, and used a natural shade lip gloss. Then I wore all black. With my glasses on, it was a great Sprockets look.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHZR9SA5pOg[/youtube]

Ironically, I got a lot of compliments on it.