Do you have the ability to fall in love?

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I always tried not to fall in love, because it's an emotion that I can not control. I like to be level headed and understand all of my feelings before moving forward in a relationship. So, the answer is yes I can fall, but prefer not to.

I fell in love once, but it was an internet relationship, I'm still waiting for love in RL.

I DO have the ability to love. I'm in an amazing relationship with someone at the moment, and I'm in love with them to the point where I KNOW I'm in love.

Yes but when I really do, I tend to fall too hard

Nope. I don't even want friends. People creep me out too much. The phycological scars of my childhood are permanent.

Of course we have the ability to fall in love. It's like how studies find that we do have empathy, but either lack the ability to express it, or express it in a different way.

I'm young, but I feel like I can't live without my boyfriend of two years. He's NT, but an engineer, and very much used to the socially awkward and those on the outskirts of society. My advice would be to find someone who is like you, either engrossed in a similar interest or works in a profession where they are in close proximity with the socially awkward. They tend to be the most understanding. Good luck!

Oh, and of course it's a lot of work to be in a relationship, and that means working at the communication aspect for us. I try my hardest to be open with my partner about my AS and try my best to be empathetic to him. Also, listening is VERY important. Make sure to brush up on your listening skills.

Absolutely. He's my best friend.

Thank you for bringing this up. I found out I have Aspergers a few weeks ago. Since then many thoughts, that never have occured to me before, are in my head.

One of them is that I don´t seem to have the capablity to fall in love (the butterfly in the stomac, romatic novel version). I do like people, care about people, get interested in people and I am certainly capable of loving (the deep kind). For me there is a difference. I find the "falling in love" emotion that I see described in films and novels, silly, unlogical, strange and alien.

Funny, I never thought about it until about a week ago.

I wish I didn't, haha.

That "butterflies in the stomach" romance novel stuff is just a bunch of syrupy nonsense. That's not really love, that's just the overwhelmed feeling you get when you see someone incredibly visually stunning. It doesn't have to be a someone, it can be a something, something not even alive. I've gotten teary and choked-up and painful throat-lumps just from reading a beautifully written greeting card. It doesn't mean I'm gonna go marry a greeting card. But I don't feel that way when I see a handsome guy. Oh well.

I think I do. But I tend to go to the extremes. So maybe if I am in love it's out of proportion. I think love should be used moderately otherwise it can do great damage. I also am a very clingy person.

But relationships...

I'll work on that when I can take up the strength.

Yes. I've fallen often and fallen hard, too! Now I have it reciprocated, and it is awesome.

“Liberated women did not ‘fall in love,’ we chose to love - that was different from falling in love. Choosing meant that we exercised will, power, and agency. Falling implied a loss of power, the possibility of victimhood.”
— bell hooks, Communion: The Female Search for Love

I have the capacity and desire for deep emotional ties and capital L love but I've never felt powerless in their formation.
It's taken a long time for me to undo that kind of romcom brainwashing that works to convince us that it's not "true wuv" unless it's splashy and dramatic.

I don't think being aromantic or asexual is a lack of ability. It's a personal preference.

This is a good article about love:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-pa ... 46105.html