"Social" touching

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Kisses I'll pass on, and hugs normally, but unfortunately for me, my family is big on the hug thing, so I routinely get hugs from everyone. What bugs me more about hugs than the actual contact of it, is when they are the half-@$$ed, one-arm hugs, or the hug is so light it is almost ticklish. If you're going to hug me, then I want a tight hug with both arms, not a "Hey, how are ya?" one-armed affair.

The whole brush-up-against-me thing, or contact to make a point in conversation, yeah I'll pass totally. My family knows me well enough to not do that, though, surprisingly, I have no problem with handshakes, so long as they are a nice, firm handshake (this comes from my mom's side of the family, all the guys have hands like a catcher's mitt).

People describe my hugs as the "butt out hugs" or even the "sideways hug." My hugs are even awkward with my family. People think I dont want to touch them. Its not that I think people are gross or anything....it just feels weird...

I'm really odd in this regard because I'm so selective about it. There's only one person on this planet that has a full access pass to touching/hugging/kissing me and that's my best friend, and I really enjoy it when she does. Everyone else (with a few exceptions), I'd prefer them not to touch me, even my own parents. For some reason I'm just really uncomfortable with my own parents showing physical affection to me. I love em and all, but it's just really awkward.

I've always been like that and I don't know why. (the wanting only certain select people to be touchy with me)

There are a few select people who can hug me, but most of my friends know not to try.
One visitor to our (shared) house said she was going to give me a hug and I said
"no you're not!" and walked away. My friend who was there cracked up laughing because he knew I wasn't going to allow it.

Another visitor said she was going to hug me and I let her, then I said
"are you feeling better now" because I thought she did it to make herself feel better. it did nothing for me.

I love being touched pretty much all the time, but not from random people. I always feel weird when I meet some new person who everyone knows as a big friendly whatever, and it's like common practice among them all to hug this person whenever she(it's usually a woman) shows up or leaves. So I go to say goodbye and possibly hold out my hand for a handshake, and then I see her open up her arms like I'm supposed to hug her. I usually just do it, but it feels really friggin' awkward. And then every now and then I'll get a hug without any warning whatsoever, from someone I don't have any huge problems with, but I feel no closeness at all, and it's just weird and awkward. I don't feel right hugging anybody other than my girlfriend or a parent.

But at the same time, I absolutely love being touched anywhere at any time if it's from my girlfriend. I'm extremely affectionate, and I wish she'd touch me more. But now I'm starting to find out that apparently I touch her too much. I have no idea how much is too much or when it's okay and when it's not. I think she takes most touch as a sort of sexual advance, but I just like touching her skin. It's smooth and soft, and it feels nice to touch, and I love just feeling her all over and running my hands over all her curves... I can't help it, it's so enticing, and it's not always a sexual thing, even if I touch her breasts or her butt. Yes, I find them both sexy and arousing, but not at all times. A lot of the time it just feels good to touch her. Part of it is that it comforts me to be able to touch someone. I grew up never really getting any sort of affectionate attention from females, never being able to show affection to them, and I'm still somewhat insecure, so I just like knowing that I'm allowed to touch someone. I need intimacy and affection...

I HATE "social" hugs and kisses. Something that intimate should be sincere and heartfelt, or it just shouldn't be. One of the many reasons women make me want to gag. They hug you-- and all the time, you really need to be looking for a knife in the back.

Ditto the "social" handshake. I was raised by rednecks. A handshake is important. If it's just a gesture, don't shake.

I'm generally not a touchy-feely person, but I will hug friends hello or good-bye (I'm never the one to initiate, though, and it does not feel natural to me - I mean, it is something I have to "make" myself do, rather than just doing it spontaneously).

It really bothers me when a server in a restaurant touches me lightly on the arm - I'll usually just cringe and do my best to hide the fact that it bothers me. I don't want to be rude to the waiter/waitress, and so I don't say anything about it. However, I usually end up avoiding the particular restaurant for awhile. I remember reading about a study someone did that showed that people left a bigger tip if the server touched them (I don't know the details and so I hope I'm not just spreading an urban legend here). I often wonder if servers in some restaurants are told to touch customers as part of the training. If so, I wish they wouldn't! Hey, restaurant managers and servers, not everyone likes being touched by strangers! False familiarity does not equal good service! (End of mini-rant)

I have never heard of those weighted blankets before - looks like they might be worth trying.

I love giving and getting hugs, but only with family and close friends. I can't really like getting touched by someone I don't know unless it's a handshake. I actually can handle being touched for a pat-down and things like that.

I have always had major issues with touchy feely people hugging me. I kind of understand why they feel the need to do it, but nothing I can tell myself will ever make it comfortable for me, it seems. I can cope with affection from my husband (fortunately!), but not really anyone else, and this has been the case all my life.

This always felt so wierd to me until I found out about Asperger's and then it all started to fall into place (along with a lot of other things).

I don't like it either. I like hugs from people I like but not just anyone. My 10 year old aspling is the same. I am not sure how a girl tells a little boy not to sit so close but I'm pretty sure growling at them isn't the preferred method.

fragment, I'm exactly the same as you about touch. I've read the restaurant research too, so it's not just an urban myth. Thankfully, it's less common in Britain so there's just one chain of restaurants I have to avoid!

I spend a lot of time in France where social kissing is common. I can just about tolerate it, but dislike it; it takes all my energy not to scrub at my cheeks. I spend a lot of time trying to hide on the other side of tables etc to avoid it, but not usually very successfully.