Sexism against guys

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it's only because guys are brought up to think that they need to have as much sex as possible, and that they should feel insecure if they don't get much...everyone at school comparing numbers of people they've slept with, etc.

we know its all a load of crap, but the droves of sheep in this world are still acting upon that insecure pulse.x

Thats totally true. There's also this stupid notion that guys dont have any interest in anything more than the physical aspect of relationships which is total Bullshit. BTW hape_bopp, do you personally have little interest in sex or something?
When I hear women complain about men being sex maniacs its like women are pretending that they have are less desiring of sex than men, which is nonsense. What is odd is that as I progress into my late 20s, women my age AND younger seem to be treating me with a Lot more respect than they did like 5+ years ago and when I was a teenager. Its as if young women have a lot more respect for guys who are (signifigantly)older than them then they do for guys their own age; EVEN when they're in their 20s.

Even in a relationships of equal libidos, I've encountered (and sometimes dated) a Lot of guys who seem to have a sense of entitlement about sex, which is not cool.

I think this is also caused by women brought up to think ill of sex in general. Also, women are brought up to see guys as sex starved pigs. If you already see it before you open your eyes you are going to see it everywhere. Of course it also could be that aspies tend to have lower sex drives for some reason. Many of the women I have encountered (NTs though) seem to have healthier sex drives than I do. Maybe I'm just that hot.

It's certainly a fact that people oppress people, and that people manipulate people and things, and that the traditional gender system which remains in place facilitates oppression and manipulation.

It follows from the above that some people will be oppressed as a result of the gender system, and that some people who are being manipulative might rely on some tactic related to the gender system or to reactions against the gender system.

People often seek to blame their problems on something external to themselves; it makes sense to expect them to pick concepts that are credible. Because the gender system that is pervasive in Western society facilitates oppression to some degree, it's a credible source of blame. Naturally, some people looking for external causes of blame, settle on gender system/sexism as their scapegoat.

A gender system that premises a dichotomy between those who need support, and those who do not on the basis of sex, is going to result in oppression where the premise is not necessitated by biology. In humans such a premise does not match the reality.

Both male and females are oppressed by the nonsense notions of a strict emotional dichotomy. Chances are if you are human, you have a rich emotional dimension and needs arising from that, such as a need to talk to someone supportive when there are problems.

Everyone should be taught to be protectors and providers, and seekers of guidance, support and provision. Humans are social animals of an interdependent nature and deserve to learn/develop, and be encouraged to use the skills that make for a balanced and satisfied participant in the give and take of human interaction. When the various qualities of a balanced satisfied participant in human relationships, are gender-ised and people are forced to oppress or never given opportunity to develop important coping skills and qualities of self, then they are oppressed by the gender system, regardless of their gender/sexual identity.


It is not helpful to focus on who is oppressed by oppressive societal structures.

It seems to me to detract from the issue. The gender system facilitates positives and negatives. Negatives should be identified and mitigated or ameliorated.

The scope for manipulative or ignorant and wrongful claims about being victimised by sexism, exists by virtue of there being very real scope for, and actual happenings of, oppression arising from our current gender system.

Well not really, but that doesn't mean what I see isn't true. Pretty much everyone that ever likes me just wants to use me like a piece of trash, and I've never been with a guy i'm really into who actually is interested in me.

^Erm, I didnt say or imply that your observations are incorrect hale_bopp.

^ I wasnt trying to contradict your observations hale_bopp, I was just curious what your issues with guys were.

That's the whole problem... I don't know! I've been like that all my life.

True. People see what they expect to see. Except that in my case, I was brought up with fairy tales like Cinderella, in which handsome princes would help us with our problems and not be sleazy about it. It was a shock when I found out I would be expected to be both totally self-sufficient (never needing anything from anyone) and sexually available (never even needing a warm-up ) - the opposite of what I got out of fairy tales growing up.

I think one reason so many women are so upset with men is that what we get is so often the polar opposite of what we were dreaming about/hoping for. That's why books like The Rules and Mars and Venus on a Date are so good, because they can help us preserve our dreams of what we want while we navigate past the people who can't give it to us. Then we don't get so burned. Perhaps it's the same with men: the discrepancy between what they dream of and what they see. Plus also I think we often don't see how our behaviour can be disconnected from our values, when we're just not paying attention to how we come across.

I honestly dont have much sympathy for women who decide to chastize men because men dont live up to their own (personal)expectations. The world is what it is and for women to expect men to meet their exacting standards belies a sense of entitlement AFAIC. That is what frustrates me about women-they fact that so many of them seem to have sense of entitlement from being female. For the record I do NOT think that women are hardwired to be this way I think its been taught to them when they were growing up.

i think any group (whether sexual, racial or otherwise) who were oppressed in the past, can sometimes find it hard to get the balance right...when does pride turn into arrogance...etc.

I think I'm upset with men for better reasons than that. . . And I passionately hate those books.

I want honest, equal, and respecting relationships. . . and I'm willing to go without rather than relax that standard.

it shouldn't be too much to ask.

I hope you don't think I'm chastizing men. I'm just saying that clashing expectations can cause a lot of hurt even without anyone doing anything wrong.

Same here. It took me a long time before I could believe that there are men out there who care enough to try to do the right thing.



I had a relationship of "equals" when I was 24, and it didn't work, because equality of input does not equal equality of outcome, at least not for me. I turned to "those books" when all my other efforts failed, and they helped me sort out some stuff that I didn't understand. They're not for everyone, and some people already know everything they could get out of them, but when you're raised the way I was, they're a godsend.

for all the lipservice given it, I was not able to experience a relationship of equals till I met someone who had a much clearer idea of that than I did.

Before then I had no concept, regardless that I thought I did.


I can see how such books could be helpful for some people at some times. . . I get very frustrated, though, at "how to date" things that advocate a lack of openness and honestly.