Does anyone else HATE sex sometimes?

Post Reply New Topic

Yes, that has happened to me. I realize now that it was sensory overload, amongst other things.

I used to have an extremely active sex life, in my head. I've hooked up a fair number of times before I got married, but never had anything long term until I met my wife. It's never translated 100% into the real world, though. I'm able to function, but it can feel like work at times. Here are some things I've thought would help:

1. Talking about ones desires, and going over how it will happen, planning every single detail, then acting. I think most people are much more spontaneous, but I think for someone with ASD, planning is a very important part of how things work. At least this is the way I work with every other social event, so why not sex? It's really not that abnormal to talk about one's desires beforehand as well. Go ahead and work out every move if you wish. Don't worry about "success" or not, just get used to the idea.
2. For some, talking about it, and keeping touch to a minimum may be enough. It might be that one wants companionship, but not necessarily to be touched by that person. So, fine, don't touch each other, but you can still masturbate, talk, and share fantasies. You can still touch, but maybe not quite as intimately as others.
3. I have a feeling that most people on the autism spectrum have "abnormal" desires. It's just my guess that since people are so overwhelming, that we probably focus our desires elsewhere. Fine, don't be ashamed. As long as you're not hurting others or breaking the law do what works for you.

Even Nt women don't enjoy sex all the time. You should never feel like a freek because giving yourself in that way isn't easy for you.

I have to say, I actually really enjoy sex, provided it's not boring, not over too quickly and he doesn't look me in the eye when we're doing it because I find that really off-putting.

ASexual topic

I used to actually like it, years ago. I felt "normal" doing it. But I did not want a relationship--just regular flings. I could not find a guy willing to do this. So I ceased all of it.

Now, I have passed through he change of life and I have changed for the better. I have no more feelings for it. Good. The young ones here will have to wait.

Me and my boyfriend have sex all the time and I love it!

Agreed.

It's easier, since I realised am on life's scrapheap to remember it as a demeaning, dehumanising act. Which to my recall, it often was.

I have to have emotional intimacy. Cant do one night stands, dont trust people. Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he wants sex all the time. I feel so...like a piece of meat! Im an emotional person, i just cant get horny out of the blue (only sometimes actually)..mostly hormonal. but no, most of the time, i dont want it and it becomes a chore. He doesnt understand why and feels bad for having to ask. Which in turn makes me feel bad...viscious cycle....I wish i did, I dont know why I dont.

Me too...I am really sensitive and sometimes can't handle the over-stimulation of sex. I also don't like deep tounge kissing much.

It's a love-hate relationship.

Sometimes I just am so disgusted by physical contact or by a man's body. I could go years without sex and not even miss it.

But after I have it, I always think, "Wow, that was great. I should do this more often." But I never do.

That said, and this is going to sound ironic, I feel that perhaps because I'm hypersensitive, I have fantastic orgasms, always. I don't feel pain well, which is a plus, and any physical contact is magnified for me. A nice combo. But I hear that more commonly, sex is extra-painful for AS women, and the sensations are highly unpleasant. Am I just an oddball among oddballs?

BTW Kissing which requires lip contact is the pits. It should be abolished.

There are times when I have to much of it for my tastes but I could NEVER hate it. It probably amounts to 40% of my happiness.

I'm 99% sure I'll hate it...

masturbation is like... a nono for me because can't take it... feel *something* but becomes too much and like a big wall to get over and cant, so know I'd need like someone else to force me over... but don't like the feeling at all and would probably end up screaming or yelling at person to stop making me feel so weird and leave me the eff alone... and thats just for the orgasmy part I guess...

touching... *shudder* I'm not as bad as a lot of ppl... but get creeped out some...

the rest is even more horrifying... only thing more disgusting to me is kissing... but both are pretty damn nasty and dun wanna involve myself with it (if I hadda, I'd be able to have sex... after getting drunk though I'm sure (which again's never happened because I don't like letting go of control... not even in the littlest bit, so too scared to get drunk too), specially since if I got into a relationship, I'd feel too guilty about *never* having sex if my partner wanted it... thats just upsetting and not right for him/her... specially if I don't give them a chance... so would hafta once sometime I guess... after putting off for so long we break up probably though >_>;;;)

but yeah... tis disgusting... I don't like watching it in movies, or reading it in books... just yuck yuck yuck... call me immature, but been trying to acclimate myself to it slowly, and still find it incredibly skeeving...

but yeah... looking at them during it would be too embarrassing... ....doing it would be too embarrassing... and I'd just probably be incredibly horrified and disgusting at seeing them naked >.> (especially if it was a guy... yuck :X)

=/ makes me feel really childish and immature all the time... but really, can't help the deep set disgust I have about it... I wish it was otherwise... and probably, someday, may be able to overcome it... but reallly... YUCK! >_<! I honestly can't see myself enjoying one bit of it...

I'd say "good thing, I don't find anyone attractive and don't have any sexual feelings whatsoever" but... I do have some *romantic*ish feelings... and do want to be with someone in a bf/gf way (trusting the other, doing stuff together all the time, enjoying each others company, etc), but just don't want the physical whatsoever------ unfortunately, very few people would be ok for someone to be physically detatched from them... :X

Used to be fine with it, cus I dun wanna date anyone, dun wanna deal with it... but lately like someone, but don't wanna get involved (despite the fact slowly moving towards it...) for fear of having to deal with this s**t


as to the he/sheness... I find very few ppl attractive (girls are prettier in general... just the way it is), and none sexually, so comes down to the person/personality... generally fit in with guys personalities a lot more, since all my friends are guys and stuff... but its foolish to assume there wouldn't be a girl with a similar personality or I wouldn't like (I mean, a lot of us aspie women are more masculine than average)... they are certainly prettier though <.<

I'm just the opposite. I love kissing. Really love it. Wish I could find someone that loved it as much as I do.
But I don't really like any of the rest of it. I have a lot of weird touching issues (shocking!) and instead of being able to say "Stop, I don't really like that" I go into my own head and try and distance myself from what is happening in my body. Consequently, I have never actually had an orgasm with someone else. And have almost given up on ever being happy in a relationship because I can't envision any man wanting to be so ridiculously patient with me that he'll take the time to recognize what I am doing mentally...

Yeah, the older I get, the more I don't care for it.