A Family Member bitter towards her friends

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In the last 2 years, a family member has had major falling out with her close friends. She claims that two of them bad-mouthed her behind her back and acted like two-year-old clicks. Ever since, she has been mad at them and refuses to accept cards from them or even contact them.

A year later, she rejected a third friend for continuing to harass her on belief systems and made wouldn't stop bashing talking about her political interests.

However, I invited two of them over because I have gotten close to them. So, I recently invited them to my new condo for Christmas. I had also invited this family member, but here is what I got.

She said, "That would be like me inviting over people who you don't like. It's more that you don't want me there."

I mean, if she is going to act like that, please. I won't consider inviting her together with other people again if she is going to pout like a teenager about it.

How should I approach future situations when it involves having get togethers?

I figure that I can't change her and that she isn't going to change her views. She is who she is and, and I know that I enjoy thoe people whom she doesn't want to have around.

I suppose you should just keep inviting her when you like; it's up to her if she wants to avoid the others.

I don't think you should ditch your friends, but I think if you stop inviting your relative to places she will think you have shunned her for them.

Perhaps you should have a get together with just yourself and the relative on some occasions?

I was actually trying to invite her because I thought that she could at least regain contact and make up with one of the people.

As for future invites, I just won't make that mistake again. I have anothe friend who was rejected by another women, three years ago. Infact, the last time I saw her, this woman totally snubbed my friend and didn't even say goodnight to her when leaving the dinner party. So, it's like, why risk it you know.

Nah, that only works in sitcoms. You're probably best just leaving them to it; they'll grow up eventually.

Trouble is, it's not your problem to solve. They might sort it out, eventually, but it isn't really your business, despite being friends with both parties. So it's best to stay just being friends with them, and leave their squabbling to themselves.

I think that will have to be the best solution because, she is accusing me of betraying her when I am actually not. I mean, she is talking about buying an air plane ticket and flying somewhere for the Holiday, while I have people over. To some aspect, I feel like she has been taking those issues out on me ever since she has rejected them. For a long time, I felt scared to do anything with a risk of her getting jealous because I lived with my relative for quite some time. However, I am currently getting ready to move out of her home and into my own place.

I do have to agree that it is not my buisness and I shouldn't let it bother me and it does. I feel like these women are like family and that my aunt has had a bitter dispute with that part of the family.

let her know she's always welcome at any gatherings.

since i'm assuming you like this person, and since they'll probably not come when the other two are there, don't forget to have her over without them.

also: it's sometimes a sign that someone's becoming mentally disturbed when they think others are dissing them behind their backs and they start ending relationships because of it (unless, of course, that's what's really happening, in which case sure she's bitter).

but never, ever choose a friend over other friends because the first one says you're "betraying" her. having friends she doesn't like has nothing to do with her (tho she prolly doesn't see it that way). it's basically emotional blackmail (again, she won't see it that way, but it is anyway).

giving in to unreasonable demands is the best way to ensure more unreasonable demands.

you don't even have to announce this to her, or to anyone. you can just nod, and do what you feel is best. you can explain or not explain (the latter is usually wisest because ppl demanding explantions for why you do prefectly reasonable things aren't going to be satisfied with *any* explanation. it will absolutely be an argument, trust me.)