Is there even a point to living if you're ugly?

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What I really wanted to say, though, is that most women I know say the exact same thing.

Men are much nicer than women

...if they recognize women as human. Which some of them do not.

I could never have male friends, since most males pretend that I don't exist. Either that or they're flat out nasty to me. People may pretend to be humble all they want but the only reason someone would have to think males are nicer than females is because the guys just all want to f**k them. Which is good for them but really has nothing to do with the objective reality of things or my problem.

Sorry but I couldn't agree with you there. Males are human beings as well ya know.

I don't know what you mean by ugly.

Do you mean 'not sexually attractive to heterosexual men'. Most straight guys find looking young and being not overweight or underweight the main criteria. It's also about where the curves fall on your body. It's not actually that hard as long as you're under a certain age and a certain weight. Even if you don't meet the criteria, most straight guys would still 'do' a woman unless she was really deformed, or something. If a woman looks like a fertility symbol, then men with not much self control harrass her, which isn't as much fun as it looks. I've known women who had 'curves in all the right places' and they get sick of people not talking to their face, or not taking them seriously.

If you mean aesthetic beauty - as in having a nice colouring, even features, soft skin, etc...that doesn't mean you have more success in life. I'm pretty good looking in the aesthetic sense, but not so much in the sexual way. Sometimes women get jealous of me because I don't need makeup and I don't seem to care, either...so they treat me the way people treat each other when they're jealous, which is pretty ugly.

If you're neither sexually attractive, nor aesthetically pleasing, don't worry. I know a lot of women I would describe this way (but not to their faces.) Some of those women are bitter, but some of them have amazing lives and lots of friends - because ultimately you CAN get success without looks. Sometimes it's easier if you don't have them, though it's never easy to get everything you want from life. There are still many ways to be happy with life, even if you don't get what you want - I find helping people and reading books makes me life very enjoyable.

Then you obviously have been meeting the wrong men.



All guys don't want to f**k me Women, for the most part, are c***s. At least they have been to me and I come from an all girls school. Which is why I prefer male company.

Oh, so why are guys nice to you and NEVER nice to me or never notice my existence at all? All the men in this f*****g city are the wrong men? All the men I've met in my life are the wrong men? Wow, the right men must be as rare as unicorns:D
How do you know if they only are nice to you because they want to f**k you? You certainly come across as a conceited knowitall here. I do wonder about why you'd even post this here as a response to a topic about a serious problem I have. I definately wouldn't want to be friends with people like that, but in general, men are s**ts and women are nice Not you, obviously, maybe that's why the only people that are nice to people like you are the ones that want to f**k you.

Maybe because you spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself and making yourself unapproachable.

You know nothing about me.

Wow...

Before I go off about how stupidly malleable beauty is, let me say that OP, you need to get therapy. I'm serious. It will help you with your confidence/self esteem issues. It helped me.

Now, on to what I was going to say.

OP: I feel your pain. I was ugly. No one ever liked me, once a guy even told me, "Wow, don't take this the wrong way, but if you were sexier you would be like, the ideal girlfriend!"
I used to get made fun of relentlessly for being ugly, gross, looking like a "dyke," etc.
I wasn't all that unattractive, just on the lower end of average, but the way I took care of myself (or lack there of) and the way I dressed made me so unsexy that people felt the need to remind me of it.
Then I learned that no one is ugly, because both ugliness and beauty are a product of how we shape our appearance.

I grew out my hair, plucked my eyebrows, learned how to wear makeup, learned how to dress my body to flatter my figure, and now I get constant affirmation for how pretty I "am." I have a boyfriend who's also an aspie, and he tells me that his friends/family always congratulate him for "catching" me, because I'm attractive. My last boyfriend told me the same thing.

Appearance is not set in stone.



(These are both me.)

I don't know if this will make you feel better, but I have been told I am beautiful since about age 14. I had offers to model and be in music videos (never did it, it would have been an AS nightmare...). And people still hate me. Women hate me (maybe jealousy because I am thin and attractive?) and if a guy likes me, it is ONLY because he is sexually attracted to me. He might do some superficial favors for me but nothing enduring (unless you are willing to give out sex, then they stick around...) It is sort of the female version of a man having money. Women go for guys who have money NOT for who the guy is inside. They just want his wallet. The guy who goes for the beautiful woman only is after her for sex/ showing off, NOT for who she is inside.

Even though I am attractive, nice, polite, I have an abysmal social life, no friends IRL, fell flat on my face when I tried to work, had teachers hate me in school--- and I am 100% sure it is due to Asperger's and being "weird/ different/ creepy." The one exception to this is I do get a lot of male attention but it is all superficial/ sexual attraction which is not real love.

Even if you are nice and polite you are a nice and polite ASPIE. This means you will be socially excluded-- even in you were beautiful!

Yes it is worse for someone who is "ugly" and AS as opposed to "beautiful" and AS but the real "problem" is AS.

I dress nice and wear makeup. I am the opposite of unapproachable. To females I'm super-approachable. To males I don't exist or am hated. That's the problem. ONLY males. I have no problem getting along with females. That's also how I know I don't really need any therapy or professional help. The only possible reason for not getting along with males would be my plain features, no other reason is possible. I've excluded them all. No man or guy has ever done anything for me, other way around, they discriminate against me and treat me worse just for the way I look. That's the core of my problem and my ONLY problem with people.

What about your father?

How do you know its the way you look?
Maybe they feel you're un-approachable because you give out a vibe resenting men for what you've been through.

Are you sure you aren't just dismissing the positive and completely focusing on the negative? Some males in here have been nice to you?

You look totally fine in the first picture - and (to me) not all that different in the second. I know you've grown your hair and put make-up on - but I think you were basically always pretty to begin with. I'm always surprised at how some people change their 'rating' of a woman because they put a bit of lipstick on.

To me, 'pretty' is a natural thing, and I think you always had it. You just enhance what you already have, but you still always have it.

The long hair does suit you better, but then you could probably have a nice short style that would suit you as well. It's just a confidence thing.

Last edited by puddingmouse on 12 May 2010, 6:04 am, edited 1 time in total.