"AS men have it harder"--does this bother you?

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It bugs me to no end when I see all these guys posting about how aspie guys have it harder than women. I'm wondering if it's just me, or it's just because I'm a girl, or what. I'm just curious of you other women's opinions.

I think you can't say someone has it harder than you if you have never been in their shoes or experienced what their life is like. With something like men vs. women, there's really just no way for you to tell, not to mention that everyone's lives differ.

It bothers me a bit, and doesn't even seem accurate considering sources stating diagnosed females are often times "more severe".

It shouldn't bug you because aspie guys GENERALLY SPEAKING do in many ways have it more difficult, since women hold the sexual power in relationships.

This doesn't mean there are not exceptions to the rule.

Sex for a man is like water and if you starve a man of it long enough horrendous suffering occurs. Many sex crimes come from being left out and at the bottom of the social status ladder where no girl wants you. In the worst cases some aspies are left with prostitution as their only human contact and release.

Some aspies turn to suicide after years of isolation so yes they do have it much much worse in many regards as they are left out in the cold. Having repulsive traits to women makes it exeedingly difficult to have any human contact, and that has severe consequences for men's stress levels and mental health.

Women are not the "weaker" sex. Women have the vast majority of power in intimate relationships and in society with regards to laws in their favor and the double standards in how men are viewed as "predators" and women as "victims".

Some women tend to act like victims too often when they are egotistical and have entitlement and attention complex to victimhood. I've seen what horrible things women can do to men, especially AS men in the real world and some of the stuff you just wouldn't believe.

The worst an AS woman will ever experience is to have it just as bad as an AS man. One only has to look at suicide stats to know who has it worse overall, this is not some stupid social status game of who is the greatest victim. This is the hard facts of life.

Harder for what?

Oh, finding a spouse, right? What else is there, really, that bothers one? (sarcasm)

Right off the cuff, one might regard with skepticism the claim by persons of either gender that the other has it easier, given that we know only our own experience. However, what do the numbers say? We might define comparative difficulty as a difference in relationship history statistics for a large pool of people, grouped by gender. How do the percentages compare, for AS men vs. women, who have never been in a relationship, who have been in a relationship but aren't in one right now, and who are in a relationship? What conclusions can one draw from the numbers?

Assuming that the difficulty is not exactly equal, then either the man who says women have it easier, or the woman who says men have it easier, must be right. But which one?

I don't know what the numbers are, but I gather from what people say here that, for the most part, the men complain about not finding a girlfriend, the women don't understand why the men complain so much, and most of the women are in relationships or have had at least some relationship experience, unless they're really fat.

Yes I find it very annoying.

I dont think it matters who has it harder, 'snipeing' at each other does not help anyone.

When ever I read an aspie guy say spiteful things about aspie women haveing it easier, I cant help but think that his bitterness to women might be what is stopping him date.

Personally I would much rather be a virgin than have experienced rape and violence (80% of special needs women experience sexual assault before 18 years- aspergers and girls book p75)

aspie men and women get lonely, experience exclusion and heart ache, they should be supporting eachother not attacking.

But miss astaut, do these survey results not strongly suggest exactly what you hate being told?

Yes, it pisses me off. I don't think women or men have it harder - I think we deal with different issues to some extent with society's expectation of what a man and a woman should act like - but the logical thing would be to help each other and counter the stupid stereotypes that say men have to be macho and women have to be chatty and nurturing. The "nice" guys who complain about this believe that they're entitled to a girlfriend, don't understand why they don't have one and don't realise that women generally aren't attracted to men who think that a woman owes them affection for being treated with forced decency.

It only bothers me only in as much as general stupidity bothers me.

I find it absurd that someone can claim to KNOW the exact extent of the struggles of another human being. Simply put, unless you are that person, then you don't know, period. All of this nonsensical swapping of anecdotes is exactly that: anecdotes, nothing but highly biased, non-objective anecdotes. And anecdotes are not hard data. Sorry.

Your own personal experiences, thoughts, and actions are not perfect reflections of humanity as a whole. They only apply to you, and if you can't reconise your own subjectivity on the matter, I have little enough to say to you. Bah.

In any case, I've never understood the "Battle of the Sexes." Men and women infuriated at one another because they can't get what they want out of a relationship. Makes me happy I'm asexual. Sexuals are curious creatures, full of drama and fury. Whenever a sexual chooses to tell me their "relationship problems," it seems the root of the issue is they keep making the same mistakes over and over again, and then subsequently choose to blame their personal shortcomings and poor descision-making on the entire population of the opposite sex (i.e. "All men are jerks!" or "Women are sluts"). Stupid. It's one of the many reasons I avoid conversation.

Oh, and I agree with Celoneth.

No because I actually agree. If I were a guy, I'd still be single and maybe have more of a crappy life. I do get sometimes "That's because you're a girl."

Yes it bugs me.

I don't believe men have it harder. It's acceptable for a man to be a little socially lacking even if he DOESN'T have ASD. The accepted folk wisdom is that men are mechanical and women are emotional, that men are good at dealing with things and women are good at dealing with people. A man who doesn't know how to react to people and sometimes comes off as rude, is simply seen as a regular guy, just a bit awkward. If it's a woman, people find it jarring and take it really personally.

I think i would have more trouble if I was a guy because girls are personality drawn.

But I don't think women have it easy.