A bride's maid of my friend being a click

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Miyah
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10 Oct 2010, 4:21 pm

I went to a bridal shower this afternoon for a friend of mine and I will be one of her bride's maids in the wedding. Meanwhile,there was another one of her friends who also attended and is also a bride's maid. She has bi-polar disorder and fetal alcohol syndrome and is 41 and is a lot lower functioning than either the bride or myself. She was over protected by her mother since she was adopted when she was 10 and was very spoiled. Since she was in special education, her teachers and doctors to her mother she my friend could never function as a normal adult which meant learning how to cook or clean.

Long story short, due to her history of all the above, this friend has a tendency to talk impulsively and treat whoever way that she pleases since she was not taught any social skills. So, she lipped off several times to a lot of the ladies there. She also made a complete spectacle of herself by telling my friend openly in front of everyone else that she was upset that she was going to leave her behind because my friend had someone to love on and she was going to leave her behind. I then tried to tell her that I would be willing to get together with her but she cut me off, " Oh hush, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to her." I broke down and had to leave the room where my friend was opening gifts because I didn't want to cause a scene and make it look like I was jealous.

I know that she is bi polar and usually people with that disorder think that they can pop off and say whatever they want impulsively. However, I don't know to what extend that's the illness or whether it was her mother not teaching her appropriate social skills in a setting like that. All I know was that I was embarrassed by her actions and it made me feel really unwelcome.



Last edited by Miyah on 11 Oct 2010, 5:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

Peko
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10 Oct 2010, 6:50 pm

The best thing you can do in that kind of situation is ignore rude people/comments and pretend they are not there/not acknowledge the comment to the best of your ability.


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sinsboldly
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10 Oct 2010, 7:54 pm

oh, honey, I am sorry she made you feel bad and miss the excitement of the wedding preparations.

This is where you get to be the adult, though.
Remember you have control over others to the extent of how much you let it bug you.

She was hogging the emotional time of the honored guest of the party and you were butting in, no more, no less. I doubt if she even noticed that you were offering your time, your effort and your company to help her transition from being around her other friend. She didn't even notice, as she had other fish to fry , she was busy trying to make the bride feel bad and getting her emotional ego stroked by trying her best to make that nice lady feel guilty about being happy as she was celebrating her special time.

so you see, she cut you because you were interrupting her being mean to the bride. Sounds like someone to keep away from.

Merle


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Miyah
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10 Oct 2010, 8:09 pm

I did stay away after that and decided that if she was going to act like a selfish spoiled brat and not even appreciate that I would willing to reach out to her, then it wasn't worth it. I went and talked to my friend's aunt who happened to see my crying after catching her acting and talking like that. She said that this she had been pretty sassy to other people all afternoon and that she didn't really seem to have any social skills. Later, the bride gave me a hug and tried to tell me to blow it off but I was just too hurt and couldn't stop crying for a while until she this woman left to go home with another friend of theirs.

Otherwise, it was a nice party and the little refreshments were excellent along with the two games that we played. I thought that the other guests were very nice to talk to and I got to meet some of her family such as her aunt and her cousin who I got a kick out of. I also met a new person who had been in the lives of both the bride and the groom and she was sweet and even dropped me off at home. I really liked her a lot and then I got a kick out of my friend's cousin and then her aunt were interesting people to mingle with and talk to.