Do you WANT to be (physically) attractive?

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EEP!
Why is this thread in the women's forum???
Has it been moved?

Yes and no. To women, but not to men. I wish I could pull of a visibly bi look, but I can’t, and I have EF problems so I wouldn’t be able to take care of piercings or short hair properly. I also know that looking conventionally attractive (the kind that attracts men) can get you far in the world by making up for a lack of social skills. In a way, my autism keeps me from getting away with looking bi even though I am.

I don’t think a woman would want to date me because I look like a “basic” lady, but I don’t want to look that way—it’s to compensate for my autism. If I had social and EF skills, I would rock short hair and piercings.

I do like men too, but they crush on me too much because of my “basic” look. It’s not comfortable.

Physically attractive people get more opportunities in life.
It's unfortunate, but it's the truth.
So yes, I want to be physically attractive.

That's not necessarily so.

Many "physically unattractive" people also get decent opportunities and results in life.

What's important is that your clothes are clean, somewhat decently pressed, and do not clash as far as color and design is concerned (no plaid shirt with striped pants, for example).

I don't like it when it is automatically assumed that "physically attractive" people have all the advantages. This is just not so. It's not black and white. It's not an absolute certainty that a "physically unattractive" person will fail, and will not succeed.

This sort of distorted philosophy often keeps "average" people down, and makes them lose inspiration for life.

All right. What you said makes sense. We have to have more of this sort of writing---rather than the bullcrap that "research studies" supposedly "reveal."

You see this in WP all the time; people say that they have stopped trying in all areas because they are not in the "elite" group as far as "physical attractiveness" is concerned. They "stop trying" because of the expression of distorted values in the media.

We have to seek to convey to people what is actually true-----that it's a combination of many things. There are many "average-looking" people who succeed. There are even many "ugly" people who succeed. When one gives up, one denies one's self all opportunities.

Another thing to consider: One person's "ugly" could very well be another person's "beautiful."

I'm ftm trans.

It just doesn't let me change gender tag on this site.

And I don't think it was in women's discussion to start with. I found it on the most recent tag.

I think women tend to be more ok with female partners looking handsome anyway. Eg butch lesbians. And the same the other way around, when a man looks effeminate he's assumed to be 'gay' which will put women off but not men.

I'm guessing physically attractive people means - body and appearance.

If we are talking about NTs who don't experience personal setbacks then from a young age they are pandered to and so develop self-confidence and high self-esteem which they carry into adulthood, In relative terms they don't have to try as hard to climb social ladders.

For less attractive folk they need to compensate by being good at something. Having skills that are in demand can overcome flaws in appearance/weight. This gets them through doors in the social ladder climbing.

That pretty much summarises the algorithm for social capital.

No, I couldn't care less. I have no desire to connect with society.