Can an Aspie female be a Nempho/boy obsessed?

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Pardon my ignorance

I am going in for official DX at the end of this month and one persistent question I have had that would seem to indicate that I may not be aspie is....My main "obsession" appears to be males and sex...When I was in grade school the obsession was that I thought I was or should have been a male
from the age of 12 on (after I found some Playboys and sex books while babysitting)was sex and "worshipping" some guy....Any time I had a reference book the first thing I did was look up "sex" in the index section....and boys....hours fantasizing,writting their names, trying to learn everything about them,biking by their house or calling them just to hear their voice...very stalky behavior...I didnt actually lose my virginity until 16(loved making out but hated intercourse)but when I started drinking I became very "popular" at partyies....but only with the guy I was making out with and only for the duration of the party...ie...I was a perfect target for guys to use because I was clueless that they didnt actually like me....dah,on me...I did learn that the only "value" I had for guys was sex(poor social skills, not popular,strange looking,not fashionable)I was eventially aware of what was happening and would not be able to "act out" sexually unless drunk...but I thought even this was better then always being alone...and hen I was drunk...making out was the ultimate "high"

I did have some year long relationships in college but they always began by my "worshipping the person" and then using sex as the bait....sometimes the guys stuck around said they loved me,etc but inside I always felt like it was because they liked having steady sex, not real love, and I would end the relationship because I felt they would never really love me for me...never gave them the chance ,really.

I am 42 now and have been in a monogomous relationship for 4 years with someone who I believe really loves me for me(though, I still wonder if he would ,if I couldnt have sex?)I was just wondering if their are others who can relate to this experience or if it is to NT....I dont have any female friends, so I am clueless how other women think/feel....

I think it's possible for an aspie girl to be a nympho.

i think and i have written here on this before, that aspie girls and young men get predated upon by older males.
in my opinion, aspie young people have an inability to express emotiosn appropriately, we all have emotions and aspies are unablee to receive or certainly give them appropriatel and feel the emotional resonance that nt's crave and need, we also have a vestigial desire for this but can never achieve it, it has been my experience that spie girls do suvstitute this emoptional expression of love with what they think is love making and sex.

OMG I am so shocked to see this post. That is me EXACTLY. I am going for diagnosis too. I have been taken advantage of so many times and now I get such a high from sex, but I can only enjoy it if I am high or drunk. In high school I "stalked" a boy and wrote him notes and stuck them in his locker and called him by following him to see where he lived and finding his phone number in the phonebook. I sent him coded candygrams....geez i wince when I look back on that lol
I feel like I live a double life because now I talk to guys online and get them to come to my house and fool around. No one ever calls me back. I must be such a weirdo. My friends ( the one that still is my friend) do not know that I do this. She knows that I sleep with a lot of guys cause I got an award for it in the dorm ( and willingly accepted....darn AS) and now I am such a wreck and everyone thinks I am a slut.

Dating is definitely one of my perseverations.

Promiscuity doesn't work for many women, for a number of reasons. If you're one of them and can't find a regular partner you like, I suggest dates that don't end in sex, self-love, and an active fantasy life. Not quite as exciting, but you might feel better about it in the morning.

What a silly question. It is like asking if women can enjoy sex. Well, yes they can.

I find that as an aspie teenager (at 17), my libido is getting a little higher, since aspies do tend to emotionally mature a little later than their peers do I've read. I haven't had sex yet, but I've had sexual thoughts before. I want to have sex when I'm married, since it's a morality issue for me; I still wonder about it however. Anyways, my libido gets high some days, and then other days it's really low, an it could get spiked by chocolate with lots of actual cocoa in it.

Krex:
Speaking as someone (male) whose been married for lemmie see, 19 years, I'd say don't mess with something that's working. If your guy loves you, love him back and don't question it, or what if, or he only loves me because....and so on. Maybe you're an Aspie and maybe not (you're apparently about to find out), but there are a lot of women who were like you in high school and college. Even 20 years before you went to college (which is when I was in college) it was the same "game," and we didn't have the pill, so you were taking a real chance if you had sex with someone (we also had coathanger abortions...so much for the good old days). Speaking as a male, who was constantly (though secretively) on the make, I had a lot of fun. Some of those women have remained friends lo these many years, some have not, but don't be disappointed if you find out you're NT. You'll still be welcome here....and your partner probably thinks you're sexy as hell, so why not just enjoy it?
Btdt

Thanks for all the responses..I think its really interesting that different people focused on different issues in my post based on what part they related to... thats what I like about forums...

and Stars...You sound like my emotional doppleganger...After you deal with getting your DX, whatever it is...I hope ou will also deal with this issue, because it caused me alot of grief in my life..I was very,very lucky(almost a miracle)that I never got VD...but the emotional damage it did to me was almost as bad...lots of self esteem problems,self harm due to remorse and rejection,increase in depression and suicidal thinking...I think this is very self destructive behavior...inspite of my rationalizing..."why should it be wrong?I am only giving and receiving pleasure?Its natural and the "problem" is societys stereotypes that its OK for men but wrong for women." I still believe those things are true but the fact is...every time I made out with someone I was hurt when they didnt call me and only reinforced my belief that something was "very"wrong with me.The sex did lead to some relationships that were pretty good but even then ,my judgement was impaired by the alcahol and I ended up in relationships with people who were very nice but that I had less in common with intellectually,interest wise then if I had been looking for someone while sober...

Enigmatic-oddity....I was not questioning "normal" sexual desire among aspie females...my question was about sex/relationships as an "obsession" in an aspie sense...ie...constantly thinking,talking,writting,art about it...like aspies that are interested in knowing everything about computers or anima,vacuum cleaners...I have always had other interests and tend to be obsessive/ have addictive personality in general...just not sure if this feel more in aspie obsession or adictive personality area?Does that make more sense?

I know I'm a guy and probably shouldn't be on this forum, but the aspect of people with AS being obsessed with sex is not exclusive to women. Aspies are just as capable of becoming obsessed with the opposite gender as any NT, even more so. While popular culture portrays us as fixating on objects rather than people, it's very well possible for us to fixate on people as objects, with biological desires for sex becoming one and the same as our perseverations.

If you are using the sex as bait, you're not a nymphomaniac... you are just seeking "access" to your obsession. I suffer from people obsessions, though they are not always sexual and they are not always for males. But, if sex would grant me access to an obsession, it might be tempting to use it (for males, anyway, I'm not bisexual).

I used to be like that, but I've moved on to better things.

Yes, female aspies can be nymphos. As I grew up my mom would always say you have the sexual drive of a man.....meaning women aren't suppose to have a voracious appetite like guys, I guess. But, for years the appetite was very strong. It about drove me crazy. Now it is not as strong, but still..

Yes ! !! !! In my teens I had countless one night stands, I enjoyed the sex and did believe everything these guys said to me. I married when I was 20yrs old and believed this man would never leave me, we had a love hate relationship, I was absolutely devastated when he did leave me, we eventually divorced. Every guy I have ever been involved with have left me and yes I have been obsessed with the majority of them.
I'm now 37yrs old and have learnt the hard way, I'd much prefer a good book and a cup of camomile tea to sex although I do enjoy it but for me it's a bit like if I do it once with a guy then I want to do it all the time. No man has enough stamina for me.

I have found the man. We both have a healthy enjoyment of sex and as long as we communicate, it just gets better. He has had a lot of years of my nymphoness. With me when I was younger, it wasn't about relationships and I think that bothered a lot of guys, they would be very possesive and whatnot. I think the great sex all the time would make a man crazy to try and fend off other men. And frankly, I don't get this men can have sex all they want but if women do the same they are called sluts. Men can be sluts, too....;0
Anyway, I digress. If a woman finds the man she's gonna stick to, good commuinication and good sex will always be there. I should know. I've been with the same guy for years and we still have fun...........albeit maybe not as energetically as we used to.

I think you are viewing your sexuality far too negatively. If you enjoy sex (or just kissing, whatever), there's no reason you should be ashamed of engaging in it. I don't believe you are being "used" by men, you are both consenting and are both enjoying yourselves. I don't believe in the stereotypical view that all men want is emotionless sex and all women want is a partner or companion, I believe there are middlegrounds and extremes for either sex. If however, you do it because you feel pressured, or you feel demeaned afterwards, It's likely unhealthy for you.