It's said most girls with AS don't do girly things? Your op?
I don't wear makeup anymore. I feel better about myself when I don't wear it, surprisingly. Clothing wise, I've shifted to a less painful approach; I've traded push up bras in for shelf bra tank tops, and I've traded in pretty shoes for warmer and more comfortable shoes. My interests aren't particularly feminine (video games, sports, swimming, etc.) so I guess I'm not very girly.
xxZeromancerlovexx
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tomboywriter101
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[quote="foobabe"]My 11 year old AS daughter is so ungirly -
She gets very embarrassed by compliments about her appearance. Refuses to try playing makeup, hates perfume, thinks shortish skirts are cheap and don't even get me started on what she thinks about Twilight, Hannah Montana etc etc...
Prefers to wear unflattering clothes with her hair covering her face - a bit like the daughter in the film The Incredibles - its almost like she wants to disappear too?. I don't want to make her uncomfortable so won't push the issue and will let her wear what she wants (so long as its tidy). I think alot of it is down to sensory issues??
BTW She has been having meltdowns lately about how much she hates growing up, having boobs, being a girl, being a girl with aspergers etc. I am being as supportive as I can and we'll get through the teenage years together (hopefully)
Not sure if she will ever be a girly girl? But so long as she is happy thats all that matters.[/quote]
I'm dealing with a similar issue here. I'm only a teenager and I hate getting compliments like "you're so pretty" I prefer comments like "You're smart/deep/artistic". I also hate puberty
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"Secrets hidden in slivers between bricks." "I wasn't 'they' anymore."
Agree: 4,6,13,16,18,19,20,22,39,41,45: 1 point
Disagree: 1,3,10,11,14,17,27,30,32,36,38,44,47,48,49: 1 point
Score: 26
LOL I did the same thing! My mom used to collect those small porcelain figurines from her tea boxes and I took them to do this.
I always got in trouble for touching them, though.
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Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.
When I was a teenager, I was very feminine. I was pretty, and I guess I knew it. It - and my intellect - probably kept me from being beat up. I wore makeup daily, dresses, loved to dress up and go out. painted my nails, wore heels. But somewhere in college I lost interest. I still cleaned up but wore makeup less and less. I never did ever get the hang of hair products and gadgets, so always wore mine long and natural. I was too awkward and unathletic to ever be a tomboy.
Now as a middle aged adult, I wear makeup once in a great while to go out, almost never wear a skirt. I just don't care. I love wearing my cowboy hat and boots, jeans and having some dirt on my shoes. I drive a pickup truck and own a couple of dogs that one man told me are "man's dogs".
I guess I grew into myself and in the end I was more interested in practicality and comfort than in appearance and social appropriateness. I always thought I was just a renegade, but I think there was some Aspergers going on, certainly.
I guess I'm a bit bothered by the idea that girls with Aspergers aren't feminine. That is an awfully wide brush to paint a group with! The implication is almost that it is somehow cooler to be a lesbian with Aspergers. I am still very feminine. I just don't dress by more customary social mores.
Now as a middle aged adult, I wear makeup once in a great while to go out, almost never wear a skirt. I just don't care. I love wearing my cowboy hat and boots, jeans and having some dirt on my shoes. I drive a pickup truck and own a couple of dogs that one man told me are "man's dogs".
I guess I grew into myself and in the end I was more interested in practicality and comfort than in appearance and social appropriateness. I always thought I was just a renegade, but I think there was some Aspergers going on, certainly.
I guess I'm a bit bothered by the idea that girls with Aspergers aren't feminine. That is an awfully wide brush to paint a group with! The implication is almost that it is somehow cooler to be a lesbian with Aspergers. I am still very feminine. I just don't dress by more customary social mores.
I think rather than ask why girls with AS are labeled as un-girly, you might want to ask the question of why society might view them as such. What is it about a girl who gets absorbed in her work or play that causes her to be seen as less than female? What really does femininity mean? Does it have to be dressing up in nice clothes and doing "girly" things like enjoying shopping and make-up? Or is there simply an alternative way of being that AS women naturally gravitate towards?
For me in particular, I don't intuitively understand a lot of society's rules for women and I've had to be taught much of it. I don't really understand gender roles all that much either. I do what I want in most situations, regardless of whether it's girly or un-girly. I don't go out of my way to be un-girly, but I don't go out of my way to be girly either. I'm just me. But despite it all, most people around me still consider me very feminine. I'm cool with that.
lostonearth35
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I still remember the REAL reason I started wearing makeup. It was because as a teen back in middle school I had the privilege of having a private teacher to improve my grade at math which
had been my worst subject in grade school (my math grades improved, but sadly nearly all my other grades, which were taught in "normal" classes plummeted. But I digress). My math teacher was a nice woman and all, but she seemed to be always telling me how pale I looked. "Are you feeling all right, you look pale?" Or "You look pale with that white shirt on." and so on. Few things ruined my day faster than being told I looked pale, I would then obsess for the next few days, worrying I was getting the flu or some other awful illness. So I started applying makeup so I wouldn't look anemic or like I was about to barf, which is what I believed I must have looked like. And in the summer I would try to get tanned but I would either only tan a little or get an awful burn, which was worse than pale skin. But nowadays I could look like a vampire for all I care. I might put on blush, lipstick and maybe eyeshadow during special occasions but why smear that gunk all over your your face just to take a trip to the grocery store? I think I have good natural coloring, look young for my age, and most people are too busy with their own lives to notice or care how I look.
OP, you're very pretty
Anyway, yes, I wear makeup daily. More than 4 items. Concealer, powder, blush, mascara, eyeliner, eyebrow pencil and eyeshadow. It looks pretty natural though.
As far as other girly things I do...uh, not much! I am very tomboyish and still dress like a 16 year old. Jeans and t-shirts and hoodies. I have short nails (cuz I bite them). I have shoulder-length hair but I do absolutely nothing to it but wash it. You'll never catch me in a dress or heels. I like tight T-shirts and skinny jeans, but that is the only way I will show off the fact that I am female. I feel INCREDIBLY uncomfortable wearing girly stuff like cleavage tops or short skirts.
I don't care about acting like a stereotypical female. Most guys find me to be just like another guy, so fun to hang out with I guess. I curse and talk about sex and other raunchy subjects and walk like a dude. I don't like sports, but I don't like girly subjects. My interests are in music, film and literature. I also like deviant topics like serial killers and psychological dysfunctions.
tomboywriter101
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I hate girly clothes and don't fuss with my appearance. My mom wants me to care about my appearance. I don't understand why people like make-up or want to be like super-models. I don't do a lot of things like talk about tv shows, make up, boys, ect.
_________________
"Secrets hidden in slivers between bricks." "I wasn't 'they' anymore."
Agree: 4,6,13,16,18,19,20,22,39,41,45: 1 point
Disagree: 1,3,10,11,14,17,27,30,32,36,38,44,47,48,49: 1 point
Score: 26
I have been described as neither boyish nor girlish. I almost always dress for comfort; my average wardrobe consists of t-shirts, sweatpants/jeans, sneakers/snowboots, a hoodie sweatshirt and maybe a beanie. My brother describes my sense of fashion as being like a "homeless person" or a "thug", and my older sister has criticized me for buying clothes that were on sale or purchased from Walmart or thrift stores (she always buys brand names like Roxy or Abercrombie & Fitch). I rarely ever wear makeup despite the fact that my skin is very pale and acne-ridden and I have dark circles under my eyes.
If I want to look nice, I wear a blouse and slacks, or maybe even a skirt once in a blue moon. I also do my hair and makeup. I'm told I clean up nicely.
I only started wearing makeup when I left highschool. As a little kid I was a bit of tomboy too. I think as I'm getting more older I'm getting more girly, I dye my hair now and I recently bought my first red lipstick However I tend to only wear makeup when I'm going out to dinner or a special occasion, the most makeup I'll ever wear is tinted moisturizer, eyeliner and mascara (red lipstick on very special occasions). When it comes to clothes, I prefer jeans over a skirt but I'll also wear dresses too
I picked the second option on the poll. I never wear make-up, and find the sensation of it utterly intolerable. I did wear eyeliner during one 'fitting-in' phase, but it frankly proved to be more trouble than it was really worth.
As far as other 'girly' behaviours are concerned, I don't involve myself with a great many of them at all. I did used to wear 'girly' clothes during another 'fitting-in' stage that took place when I was around 8, but they were uncomfortable in the extreme, and would be enough to set me over the edge if there was already any underlying stress or frustration.
These days, I'm thankfully no longer sufficiently concerned with such social expectations to bother myself with any rituals of that nature if they go against my own desires.
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