Anyone feel like this?

Post Reply New Topic

When I see other women, I sometimes hate it because what I see is what I feel like Im suppose to be in order to be liked but Im not like that its not that I even want to be them but I just want to be liked. I try to tell myself its fake and at least Im being real but I cant help but see these women. I envy them because I feel like there better then me and they make me sick at times. My friend tell me that all women go around envying each other which leads to so much irrational hatred. But then Ive had some girls be my friend cause it made them feel good about themselves, like Im their charity. And so they could quite easily put themselves above me.

How can all these friggin girls live with so much fakeness in this stupid game?

I totally understand how you feel. It used to bug me a lot when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. I really hated that a lot of the girls I knew were manipulative and fake, especially when it came to impressing boys. Now I'm older, I realise that they probably weren't very happy within themselves, but it still used to make me feel inferior because I just couldn't be like them, no matter how much I tried.

I don't get on well with most women... they bore me since they seem so vain and they talk about very mundane stuff like hair or other people
They can be quite bitchy and talk behind people's back which I really don't like.

It doesn’t help that certain T.V. shows give out this supposed stereotype that all young women care about is partying and fame. And even if they do, it’s none of my business. What bothers me is when these girls complain about being judged all the time, and then they go and judge someone for not being exactly like them!

On my first job my staff manager had one of her jovial moments and took my friend and me aside to give us some 'heartfelt' woman to woman advice:

"Always make sure that your girl friends are just that bit less good looking than you are. This way you always stand out positively to men."



It took me a while to get my head round the idea that there are people out there, who choose their friends after points on a 'nonthreatening to my chances' scale.

I dont know your age, but I used to be like that.. Then I was happy with myself and no longer desired to want to be like others or be their friends. It is hard enough finding someone in common! Finding a female who loves to talk about history, philosophy, religion, education, and is a great chess partner has not happened for me yet

Good luck to you!

From 5th grade through 11th grade, I didn't care and did my own thing. I figured someone is going to like me for me and I'll be here when a guy decides that he doesn't want a girlfriend who looks like every other girl out there. This was the right attitude. I was awesome.

When I hit 18 years old, I started noticing how other women looked. I was working full-time, I was in the world, and it really mattered whether or not I conformed. So, I conformed. In my early twenties, I felt very inferior to all these women who seemed to already know how to look and act and smell. I tried my best but always felt like I was falling short, like a gross, short impostor. It didn't help that I got mixed up in an abusive marriage so I was intentionally covering my body in over-sized clothing to cover bruises and become invisible. At times I hated these other women simply because they didn't have my problems. They could smile.

Sometime around my late-twenties (about five years after I'd left the abusive marriage and had recently dumped a cheating boyfriend), I got into a groove that felt appropriate for women of my age in my culture without becoming a stranger to myself. I watched a bunch of these fashion what-to-wear reality shows to learn what goes well on my body, I researched on the net and watched those same make-over shows and even asked a girl in my speech class for make-up tips (she did a speech on how to properly do eye make-up so I grabbed her after class to take advantage of her expertise). I began to learn what I could do with me, as I am, that I would like and would make me look awesome by both my standards and society's standards. When I was awesome again, I stopped caring about what other women were wearing again. I really wish I had just done the homework and found my groove much earlier on. Then I wouldn't have ever had to stop being awesome.

After my dad died, I felt inadequate again. I wasn't hating other women but I wasn't happy with myself. So I've been exploring how I want to look and what kind of footprint I want to make. General big life questions. So, I've been going through the research steps again and deciding who I'll evolve into that will match who I really am inside now. I will be awesome again someday.

So what you need, Ai Ling, is to be awesome again. That's something only you can do, but you can do it.