Fear of other women

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I was wondering if any of you guys every experiance fear with other women or just have issues where you dont really want to be around them too much. For me, its been hard to explain because I do have female friends but I will often get irrationally intimidated by other women or I cant stand being in huge groups of them, or I just want to feel inferior to them.

I dont know completely why I have this fear and its defiently an issue Im gonna have to bring up with a phychologist. Its partially cause I could never fit in and I could never be the girl that people wanted. I always felt inadequate and I always felt like so many women were better then me. This problem did not come to my attention until recently. I feel safe and accepted by mostly gay guys or guys with a feminine side not so much around girls. I never compare myself to them and their more accepting towards my quirks.

Does anyone else have a fear of other women? What are your reasonings? Thoughts are going around in my head and I cant seem to make sense of them?

I have a fear, which has developed into a real dislike.

The reason is 'girl hate'. Women are so competitive with each other and compete by pulling each other down. Women are so often defined by how attractive they are, how much male attention they get, how good they are at being a mother, or how they prove themselves at work, it makes women bitchy to each other. They undermine each other indirectly or directly, so you constantly either feel judged by other women, or scared that they're going to stab you in the back or bad-mouth you to others.

I've found very few women who have not been aggressive towards me, and what's worse is that when they're so mean to each other it makes it all the more confusing trying to understand groups of female friends. Mother/daughter relationships, or when you see groups of women on events like a girls night out or breast cancer runs where they're all having fun with each other and seem so close-knit - I don't understand how women can be so disgustingly damaging to each other one moment, but then close and supportive the next.

I'm always intimidated by other women. Whenever I go out in public and I walk past other women, I instantly lower my gaze to the floor. It's my body language way to say, "I already know I'm inferior to you. Please don't laugh at me or be mean to me."

I feel jealous of other women if they are more physically attractive and get more male attention than me, or if they are more talented at something which I wish I could have been talented at, such as music and art. I have had friends who were more beautiful and more talented than me, and the ambivalent feelings of my love for them mixed with my jealousy towards them made me very sad inside.

I piss more girls off than men. It has nothing to do with competition but rather how b***h'y they get at the smallest unintentional little thing I do to upset them...a misplaced item, an incomplete task, a rude statement, etc.

So naturally I fear other women cuz I feel I piss them off just by existing.

There is no need to assume fearing other women is irrational. I think it is perfectly rational. A lot of people are mean... that's what kind of world we live in. In my experience, it's not men who pick on me and nitpick about how to dress or act "ladylike", it is other women.

Personally, often times, it's like as soon as I meet another woman, they are staring at me up and down looking, deciding whether they should be jealous of me or pity me. There's no winning. My strategy is to not play the game at all.

The way I deal is just remember that other women are different from me anyway. We're all individuals with our own strengths and weaknesses. Just focus on other things that you like, reading books, video games, arts and crafts, working on your career or education. Don't torture yourself trying to believe that you should tolerate painful things or you should feel comfortable around everyone. You feel the way you feel for a reason.

Even when women arent nessary being "competative" with me, I often have this fear created around some of them. And what whoever said was right that women are more nitpicky over whether we're personally adhering to the female stereotype. I feel more pressure around other women to adhere to this. 1 thing I never wanted which I generally keep this from happening is that a lotta "shyer", socially naive girls tend to take comfort in there group of girlfriends who "care" for them. Being in that position irks the s**t outta me and I cant explain it. My mom described being in that position in her life and tried to relate it to me. I think my mom was a bit surprised when I came to college that most of my friends were guys(at the time) mainly cause I found it so hard not to "f**k" up a female friendship. Within the last 2 yrs Ive hungout a lot more with girls and last yr I hungout with all girls at 1 point and it was soo lacking. I felt so inhibited. Finally this yr, I have guy friends again...Im happier. I figured out that I take comfort in hanging with feminine guys.

I think I just want to get over my "fear" of other women because it creates unnessary stress. Im gonna have to deal with other women for the rest of my life. I cant be fearing my female boss or something. Or I cant sit around envying my coworker to the point where its hard for me to interact with her.

I find this to be an unusual fear to have at least according to NT standards. But hey aspies are different a lot of the time.

Well, a lot of NT women are so incredibly social that it's simply draining. At least with the men you tend to go "sup" "not much. you?" "same" "cool. drink?" "sure" and you're done for a while. While with women that same rough exchange will take way longer and have to include details and feelings and, jeez, I'm getting exhausted just thinking about it. I have a gay friend who's also like that, that hyper social need. He also exhausts me just as much as most women do. So it's not that I don't like them, it's just that good god, I don't have that much energy to keep going on all that social stuff for that long that often.

Quite the opposite. In general, I find women boring and irrelevant.

Yes, it sounds sexist, but I do give them a chance and on rare occasion the above is not true.

Interesting discussion. I just can't relate (or want to) to the standard woman no matter how hard I try. My sister is having issues with her best friend and proceeds to tell me every single thing about her day in the most imute details like what she ate, how it made her feel, what she thinks about her body. I guess that is standard chit-chat but I am just nodding to her with the glossy eyes. I just can't bring myself to waste time on that kind of stuff.
I avoid conversations with women like the plague. They are just so weird to me (the conversations AND the women).

It's all about having self-esteem and confidence. If you sit around obsessing about this fear it will not help you, just drain you more. But if you get your confidence from other arenas in life then you just forget about it, or start seeing other women as being irrelevant and different from you.

I get pretty annoyed too when there is some "shy"/different girl who gets taken into a group and is "cared" for. That position is pretty demeaning, it seems like lost potential, someone conforming and trying to fit in instead of being themselves.

Maybe to you it sounds like I'm saying you should ignore the problem and it'll go away. That's not what I'm saying really. It's like suppose the kitchen is on fire. I'm telling you, if you want to put out the fire, there is a fire extinguisher in the other room, leave the kitchen and go get it. And you're like, "No, I can't leave the kitchen because it's on fire, if I leave it'll just keep burning down". I am saying, sitting in the kitchen choking on fumes is not helping, go get the fire extinguisher, and you can come back better equipped to deal with the situation.

for me... i am not fearful of other women because i am not in competition with them. they don't have anything that i want, and if they are prettier or smarter or whatever then there isn't much i can do about that. i have been jealous of specific women before because they had something that i wanted (i.e. i had a crush on the same man), but big groups of women do not intimidate me.

in general, i kinda wish that women weren't so hard on each other. on this forum and in real life, there are *always* women out there somewhere we can identify with, but we have to give them a chance. it's not necessary to be fake or shallow at all.

if we paint other women with broad generalizations and close ourselves off, we are isolating ourselves from the possibility of some wonderful friendships. not all women are flaky or bitchy or competitive or boring or whatever nastiness you want to assign to the gender... after all, WE aren't like that, are we?

I have always been able to find at least one other woman whom I could consider a very close or "best" friend, someone I could share everything with. I think the standards set and expectations on most women in society almost dictates that they/we concern ourselves with chitchat/fashion/"girl talk". There are quite a few women in the world who aren't that, but sometimes it is difficult to find them. I have had more luck finding intelligent women in my adult and "mature" years than I did when I was younger, but I have always been "weird" and have tended to gravitate towards other people in general who are "outside the box."

I have been single for a great many years now and a cultural change has made it difficult to find men that I resonate with. Our country tends to push the machismo stereotype and I don't really do that well. I have more female friends than men friends for the first time ever. That last bit reads like I have a lot of friends. I don't. I feel totally comfortable around three or so women, with one that I feel specifically able to be exactly who I am without worrying. I have one male friend who I feel comfortable with.