A personal question... wrong place

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Hi, new here! A girl, 23y old. I found this site in the last few days!

This is absolutely the wrong place to post this, I am sure of it and I am sorry! Kind of wanted the expertise of a female aspie though, thus I posted this here!

A few weeks ago I got called to a meeting at my doctor’s and she told me I should be sent to these folks to see if I had Aspergers. My first reaction was to laugh, cause I wasn’t Rain Man or Sheldon from TBBT…

But as I started reading about it, it sort of made sense. I think… I have no one to talk to about this, my next shrink session is in the end of August. And the evaluation is in 6 months. And this is big, it’s been emotional, I just want to ask a question, if that’s okay?

I figured I would join here simply to ask… I can relate to all you girls; I mirror, I have the sensory issues, looking into peoples eyes is just as hard as looking into the sun, clothes, make up etc feels like pure guess work, I have special interests that “consumes me”, I’m “fuzzy” upstairs… I often blank in the middle of a sentence. Prone to becoming mute when stressed and I’m clumpsy… the list goes on and on.

It all fits… Except everywhere I go to study this aspie thing it talks about people being rude and mean. Everyone being “cold”. I am the exact opposite. My strategy to fit in with people is to be small, innocent and cute. And kind, annoyingly kind. You can’t go wrong if that’s your performance! So I’m never rude. This has also gotten me friends. I am liked. I am also very empathetic. More so then other’s seem to be; again something I don’t see when I’m reading about Aspergers… everyone say they have trouble with other people’s feelings.

Then I also have a bad memory; even concerning my special interests. Perhaps this can be because I have been depressed and blue for many years though?

So to the actual question; I’m not rude or cold. I have friends, people like me. I empathize a lot(even with objects irrationally) and finally I have a bad memory! I also don’t feel very above average smart because of the memory. Things that don’t seem to fit with listening to aspie-people here and on other sites. Is it likely I got it? That’s my question!

Thank you And sorry again!

Why did your shrink think you have aspergers?

She never told me!

But a lot of it fits, all of it really except for the things I mentioned.

I have in retrospect figured out that she has asked me questions about how I think when I'm around other people and so on... perhaps it's that... And never looking her in the eye.

From my experience of being a female aspie I'm like you, too nice! I also tend to forget alot of things, I remember things that interest me. Are you a naturally anxious person though? I'm a anxious girl, especially if my routine is messed around. I don't have any good female friends though, most of them are acquaintances. I'm no spock either, I'm not super logical however one of my special interests is the arts. They say that aspie girls are more likely to be interested in music/art while the boys tend to lean towards maths/science. Have a look at these tables, they may help:

http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58 ... d4f6a.html

Alright good; too nice!

I am just like that also; anxious… like a dear, observing and thinking a houndred thoughts at once. And I will freak out if something unexpected happens; it’ not very fun. You need time to process everything.
Like you, I am an art person, and I also get way too excited when Martha Stewart comes on to make Christmas cards…

I read the link; only a few things don’t fit!

So I can then probably safely assume I got this Aspergers Syndrome? The not knowing for six months wasn’t something I could do, one part of me started getting really excited a week ago, thinking now I know why living has seemed to take up more energy for me then for other people. I understand myself! And the other side of my brain went… no wait, it might not be so, hold on, don’t get happy!

So thank you so much for you’re quick replies, you have calmed my mind and made me happy and warm inside

Thank you!

I suppose get a proper test done if there is such a thing



Good to hear

I'm told I'm as empathetic and nice - too nice, to the point of being a pushover - as they come. And I'm diagnosed with Asperger's. I think some Aspies are empathetic and some aren't maybe?

Can you help me with one more thing, perhaps? Seeing as I seem to have the need to vent (I never actually write on boards), is there a place on this site to talk one on one with people?

I realise that not all people enjoy being a “therapist” to a complete unknown individual, so perhaps with the ability of empathy that has been mentioned, I could lend an ear back? What I’m trying to say, is there such a phenomenon on this site? Anyone that can guide me in the right direction or if I’m completely in the wrong perhaps point at me and laugh at my naivety?

Take a look at this book;

Aspergirls

It explains how the 'typical' Asperger's traits are based on a bias toward diagnosing boys.

I am nice & kind too... but I don't really think I let people use me though... I have friends that I care about and they care about me too... I have been diagnosed because my shrink thinks my meltdowns and my above avg IQ and my special interests and me taking literal meanings of things ....sounds like aspergers.. I have anxiety and ADD... I wonder if that's what made him think I could have aspergers..

Thank you for the tip on the book; I will get it right away!

You're welcome!

I am overly nice when I want people to like me. For instance I had to go meet a new person in an uncomfortable situation today and I think I said "thank you" at least 10 times when it wasn't needed. I also do nice things (like make stuff or tidy up) for people that I care about.

Aw... but I was a physicist before I became an accountant. Math and Science are incredibly beautiful! I never really understood art... Er, not that theres anything wrong with it, I just don't get the mental excitement of a good mathematical paradox.

Ah, but I think the 'coldness' isn't always evident. If you're shy, you may seem aloof or distant, while not cold. I've always been super nice because I could never tell if I was hurting someone, and the thought of hurting is unbearable...

I can tend to try and be nice , I am not sure why. I am always worried about hurting people as I have in the past been hurtful and not really realised it or got why.
I am into music and art, literature, but also fascinated by science, so...
Oddly, I am also naive in ways, in spite of being untrusting of people. It's quite strange. You would think I wouldn't be naive if I am on such a high alert around people.

Hello

Being "small, innocent and cute" seems to be a big part of my social strategy at the moment too. I'm actually slightly worried about what will happen when I'm too old to get away with it. Right now it seems that any social errors are swept away as me being "generally naive" which makes things easier. I do try to be nice... occasionally I get a bit impatient and end up being a little bit blunt, but I'm rarely mean.

Empathy is a tricky one... I'm not very good at identifying people's feelings through body language, but if I'm told what's going on then I can empathise without too much trouble. I think that's why I've only ever cried at a film once (and the two guys I was watching it with were also in tears...), but books regularly get to me.

Gwenwyn - I totally agree that science and maths are beautiful. The fact that so many things can be described by equations is utterly glorious.