Men who suck up to woman!

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I hate it when men are saying idiotic stuff to me because they think I and/or woman in general are longing to hear crap like that.
A few annoying examples: "you are so pretty" you look really young, "you are so sexy".
Why do slimeballs like that feel the need to insult my sense of reality?!

There are probably some woman who are naive and stupid enough to believe in those kind of cliches but since I am 46 and therefore not young ,totally inexperienced and naive anymore, the only effect it has on me is irritation. These guys must have a really poor understanding of woman, otherwise they would not think that these slimy phrases are going to make a lasting impression on me. it is almost amusing when they say how pretty and young I look when I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks and look like extremely sh***y because of it.

I prefer honesty. Even when it's not always tactful!

Last edited by pokerface on 25 Apr 2013, 7:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It seems to have made a lasting impression on you after all—just probably not the intended kind of impression

If you'll post a pic, we'll be able to agree with you.
Or not.

I'm not going to post a picture of myself on the internet.
I very much like to maintain the illusion of anonymity.

I think these lines do work on some women. I also think that as Aspies, we tend to look at the function of behavior a lot of the time. So, what another NT woman might take from those lines might be a boost to her self esteem, or an attractive indication of how she'll be treated and appreciated should she allow the guy her time, we see as an obvious sales gimmick. Hmm, that also explains why I have such strong sales resistance in general. I look at the function of the words/behavior.

I’d say aspies are not numerous enough for the development of sales gimmicks aimed at them to pay off, at least so far.

They say it because that's what many women do want to hear. You may not feel the same but don't make the mistake of thinking all women hate this as much as you. I made similar mistakes assuming that most other guys were really more like me on the inside and not even close to male stereotypes. Maybe you're just different than most women.

I do understand that many women hate compliments about there looks (even though I enjoy giving them,) although Id say poor body image seems to be your biggest issue. If you hear these comments so often there is a good chance they are sincere.

At the risk of this seeming like a "Poor men, women do it too" post, I'll just say that I can relate. It doesn't happen often (a strange woman telling me how "nice" or "handsome" she thinks I am), but when it does, my first reaction is "What does she want?" or "What is she selling?" or "Where's the hidden camera?". This type of come-on happened most often while I was in the Navy, and on liberty call or shore leave, so I quickly became familiar with it. So, I can only conclude that when a stranger leads off with a compliment before an introduction, he or she is likely to have an ulterior motive.

I've always seen that behavior as a niceity. Some men view it as proper manners along the lines of holding a door. I just smile and take it as polite but meaningless.

I can understand where that's annoying. & I think the comments about how we are thinking of motives are dead on. lol

Sometimes, to me, it just seems like someone's social & they have to talk about something, so that's what comes out of their mouths, like at a store or something. lol Sometimes it does seem like they're trying to butter you up, which I don't respond to either.

Actually, now I get insults, too, I think because of where I live & also because of PUA culture. (That's big here.) See, the new technique is for men to put you down if they think you are pretty. This is supposed to make them stand apart from other guys & make them not look desperate. So, instead of saying they like your hair, they'll say. "Your hair's nice. Is that your natural hair color, though?" Like, they want you to be uncomfortable, instead of flattered & this is supposed to give them an edge. Or, someone might say. "I usually only date models, so I don't know what it is about you I find so attractive. We must really have a connection." The thing now is back-handed compliments. These are called "negs." So, be careful not to get sucked in thinking they're being honest. It's not like that.

Compared to those turkeys, I'd rather deal with those inclined to compliment! ;)

I started writing, though, to say, every now & then, someone is 100% sincere. My grandfather was this way. He complimented everyone, all the time, about everything. He was a jolly, happy man. He truly just loved everybody. & he really thought every woman he met was beautiful & told them so. He very often told men they were handsome. He's say, "Hi, handsome!" He saw everybody through rose-colored glasses. He'd see a woman in her eighties at the doctor's office & tell her, "Seeing you just made me remember what beautiful creatures women are." But, he meant it. He always really did. :) He wasn't skeazy or creepy, but it was like everyone looked like a movie star to him. He was always in awe of how wonderful everyone was. Because of him, and because of how special he's always been to me, when a gentleman I don't know lays it on thick, I can't help but know there is a very slim chance that he has a similar personality type to my grandpa. So, I can't be irritated, just it case it isn't actually sleazy. I'm not a mind-reader, after all. :) So, I smile & say thank you (but leave quickly). That way I'm covered either way! lol

I always compliment people if I notice something about them that I like. I don't do it because I think they want to hear it or because I want something from them, I do it just because I want them to know I admire whatever it is I'm complimenting.