"Social" touching

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I just started tolerating high fives and handshakes. I can tolerate hugs from kids better than grownups but even then it's hard sometimes. I think people just should stop expecting everyone else to be all touchy feely.

I will let people hug me if they ask for my permission. But if they tough me without asking, I will react to it. I will either push them away or my body is just stiff.

When I first met my husband, I was pushing him away when he kept trying to hug me. I let him do it for a few seconds and then I push him away. Then once he understood AS, he has stopped and only asks for permission now. When he kisses me, I always have to wipe that area on my face or lips, I do the same when my mother kisses me. I also cannot stand the feeling of hairy skin on my bare skin and I can't stand sweaty sticky skin. Sometimes a touch just feels painful. But yet when I am cold, I love to cuddle to keep warm, I also love getting my head rubbed or my back and I enjoy soft touch. I also love the soft touch on my face. I will even want my husband on me in his arms if I want to keep warm or if I am really really sad.


I can do hand shakes.

I find touch from anyone other than my spouse incredibly invasive. What I struggle with in social situaitons is my verbal response. When someone touches me unexpectedly, I almost always say "ouch." It ins't a response to pain, exaclty, but it's uncomfortable and I say it before I've had time to process that it shouldn't hurt. Then the person usually apologizes, and I feel guilty.

Also, being able to afford a weighted blanket is one of my dreams.

It makes my mother very happy when I go to church with the family on special occassions but I absolutely dread it because at the beginning of the service they make you meet and greet the people around you. It's the most awkward and excruciating feeling. I imagine that Thanksgiving is the next occassion that I will be asked to go to church and I am already dreading it and formulating excuses in my mind.
For the most part handshaking is fine but hugs are awful. I hate them from everybody. I have learned to handle it though and I sometimes find that being the initiator helps. Still horrible but at least I'm in charge.
Why does everybody want to be touching everybody else anyway? It's gross. Just thinking about it is making me uncomfortable. And the social cheek kiss? Don't even get me started. I try to hold a burning cigarette at all times to avoid this. My family is dutch and they kiss THREE times. I don't even know how I haven't punched somebody in the face yet.

I can totally relate to all of this, I don't tolerate being touched at all. I literally just like freeze and it can stop a whole conversation, because it's just like the shock waves go through me and then I need time to recover. I have been a little bit better about it lately but I still really don't like it. I think it's personally offensive when someone violates your personal space to touch you without your permission.

I used to get much more upset over it, though. The other day I was at a country concert, and I had an extra ticket for something I gave to this woman - who then couldn't stop patting my arm or shoulder as a gesture I suppose of thanks - but 3 times I shrugged out of her half embrace and 3 times she kept doing it, it was weird she didn't realize. Then I just moved away. Weird.

Oh gosh, this reminds me of 2 incidents.

I was helping out this old women and her grandson who was probably around my age, he was clearly, "mentally challenged". So I helped them and the grandson was very sweet, he gave me a few tiny origami cranes and tried to hug me. I didnt want to hug him. To any observers nearby, this seemed like I was trying to blow him off, like I was being mean. But it wasnt that, I just dont like hugging strangers. I was very appreciative of his origami cranes, I thought it was cute.

Second incident, I was at this small grad cultural grad ceremony API(asian pacific islander) grad. When I was called up, I apparently didnt observe everyone before me good enough. And I didnt want to hug the person giving me the lei's, it was really awkward, infront of everyone. I was probably seen as mean. My friend later asked me if I hated the girl...and I was like "no, I didnt even know her!".

Worse of all, people probably think I was just being mean.

I've always wiped away kisses even when I was a little kid. It used to hurt my dad's feelings. I've also always hated being tickled. Part of my problem with light touch is that it always feels sexual to me whether I want it to or not. I just feel like that kind of touching only belongs in an intimate relationship probably because those are the only times I personally tolerate it. One of the worst cases of being touched that I remember is when a little boy (probably 6 or so) walked over to me and started petting the tattoos on my arm. His touch was so light and weird and it made me feel sick. I didn't even know what to do because I don't really like kids anyway.

This might be a bit too much information, but do any of you find your intolerance to touch is even worse when you're menstruating?

YEs, defiantly. Im extra sensitive and can feel someone poking me from just looking at me lmao. Its hard to explain and deal with. If someones brushed past me i end up wiping my arm again and again for ages until i feel normal

I feel the same way except mine would be

1) from someone I'm sexually attracted to
2) 100% gay men

I think the last time I was hugged/touched was as long as a year and 3 months ago. The few people I associate with aren't really that touchy feely themselves and I think they know I don't like to be touched. The unwanted hugs tend to happen when a relative visits from far away.


I never heard of those weighted blankets but I just feel more comfortable physically and emotionally if I'm covered when I sleep.

I have a love/hate relationship with touch.

My step-dad likes to hug, and the first few months I would tense up each time.
And I'm ticklish(I guess), so whenever someone touches my neck I tense up.

I hate when someone is holding onto any part of my body, like my wrists or something (which is a problem in my family, cuz it's mainly boys and they like to play wrestle)

I'm in the theatre department in school, on the technical side of things and when we do warm-ups, we stand in a circle and hold hands.
Sometimes we give each other massages, but they always go to close to my neck and I tense up and am unable to get the point across.

I like hugs, but mainly only if it's someone I know well (family members and some friends) or if I'm the one to instigate it.
Otherwise, I feel too awkard and just sort of stand there, maybe pat their back awkwardly.

I really hate being tickled. My step-dad (who's more of a dad than my actual dad) was tickling my sisters and my mom one time, and he was headed my way and I knew he was going to tickle me next, so I sort of kicked him in the chest to keep him from doing it.

When I was dating this boy, he kept asking me to kiss him, but it felt too awkward. I could only manage a quick peck on the cheek and it felt very awkward. And I only managed to do it the one time.
We never actually kissed and I never let him kiss me on the cheek or anything.

Last edited by DataJinx on 02 Oct 2011, 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I hate being touched so much that I'll probably never go on a plane again. There is no way I'd ever submit to one of their patdowns/molestations. If I had this happening to me it would be very upsetting.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvKRhdx9F9s[/youtube]

That ^ *points to the inbedded video* happened to me once. I was stopped because, apparently I looked suspicious, I think it was because the clothes I was wearing wasn't too feminine, and the guy who stopped me rambled on about not looking like my gender and that I could be something suspicious. BS. It was however a woman who did the touchy thing and I was way to nervous about them stopping me than the patdown. I did want to smack the guy on the head and say he was an idiot, but I didn't.

When I think about it I realise that I'm not a touchy person myself, I only hug 3 people. My mum, my little sister and my boyfriend. Maybe the occasional person now and then but that is in great discomfort. I don't approve of people I don't know hugging me or touching me, something as small and simple as a pat on the back , if unnoticed, can get me flying off my chair or almost falling over in chock.

I think now, since I got this boyfriend that I might tackle touch in a better way than before. I don't care to much if somebody brushes into me at the streets or if somebody else in the immediate family hugs me or so.

I might have to read more about the weighted blanket because I only sleep good when I feel safe, and I only or mostly feel safe, either if somebody is giving me a strong hug or if I sleep with 2 blankets.

I never had that happen to me. I haven't flown since before 911. Back then they didn't touch you, didn't charge you to check a bag, and actually fed you a meal on many flights. The worst thing I had happen was once they made my lift the back of my shirt a little so that they could see that the rivets on my jeans made the wand go off.

I see no point in even attempting to fly now. If I did I'd be so anxious the whole time worrying that they were going to want to touch me. I'd refuse regardless of the consequences. Then I'd have whoever bought the ticket all mad at me especially if they can't get a refund because I refused to allow myself to basically get molested to get on the plane. Even worse what if it happened on the way home? How would I get home?

I can't believe how many people in comments for videos like that seem to think that this is ok.

I suppose the people who think we should manage that don't have a problem with touch, I do however, kind of, understand why they need to look you over so that you don't have anything illegal or dangerous on you. But it's kind of offensive. Although I'm not sure I'd prefer a scan instead. That makes me uneasy. Anyhow, nowadays I don't fly much, only if I'm going out of my country but even then I'd prefer train.

I don't like being touched much. I hug my best friend when we see each other or say good bye, and I don't mind that, but it's always an awkward sort of hug.
I used to belong to a church that was all touchy feely and I felt so uncomfortable. People would lay their hands on me when praying for me.

I have to stop myself sometimes from wiping my face when my husband kisses me. He used to get self conscious about that, but he realises now that it's my issue.

Oh god. the whole touching thing. the "How are you! *Incoming hug*" and in me it's "Oh...Greeeeat." I hate it when people you know know want to give you a hug, or when talking, they lean forward and press ther hand on hour arm, shoulder, or knee. Like, they're trying to be affectionate and disarming.
Instead, it makes SOoo uncomfortable, and I just stiffen up and let them do it. I don't want to be rude and walk away or stop the hug/touch and take the chances of offending them.

I HAVE A BUBBLE OF SPACE AROUND ME. DO NOT GET INTO IT UNLESS I GIVE YOU PERMISSION!

That's me right up there. ;p