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peacerunner
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02 Jul 2011, 7:12 am

Do you hate that thing where people you don't really know want to hug you and kiss you on the cheek randomly as a way of saying hello????? :evil:

My sister has this wonderful new italian boyfriend. So the first time I was to meet him she said to me, "I explained to him about you." I said WHAT????? She said that everybody else in the family loves that Tony is demonstrative but she warned him not to touch me. I never even told her I had touch issues. It must show onmy face. ugh. But then the other day when we all got together, he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek (I guess he forgot the original warning or thought the rules changed after the first meeting) and I reached right to my cheek and rubbed there without even realizing and now my sister thinks I don't like her boyfriend, which is not true becasue he is very nice.So now she thinks I don't like to be touched at all, which is not true. I also hate when people reach over and touch or lightly hit my arm to emphasize a point in conversation. I wish I could de-sensitize myself to this.



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02 Jul 2011, 7:36 am

I read an interesting article on why people on the spectrum don't like light touch. It had to do with a problem with the tactile signals sent to the brain.

Wish I could find it again.


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fallen_angel
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02 Jul 2011, 7:44 am

Yeah I hate that as well, especially this kiss thing.
I don't like it if people I don't know run with open arm towards me. Sometimes I feel the urge to hug people but that happens rarely. If it does it's only about people I really like very much.
In general I hate being touched by people, especially if I don't know about it - when it happens unexpectedly. My husband does that sometimes and he just doesn't get it that I really hate it. I can endure a firm touch much better than a soft touch.



Rhiannon0828
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02 Jul 2011, 7:48 am

I went out with friend Thursday to celebrate the fact that she had bought her first home. One of her friends kept touching me on the arm as we were all talking, and another gave me a little "half hug" and a kiss on the cheek when we left. These people have no idea this bothers me, and I'm not really sure how to let people know or avoid their touch without hurting their feelings. I know they are just being friendly and affectionate and I don't want to do anything to alienate them or make them think I don't like them--they're really pretty harmless. I managed to keep from reacting to their touch-- it was kind of funny because I could see my friend watching me to see what I would do. I guess I am just commiserating because I have not figured out a way to keep people from doing this or a nice way to tell them I don't like it-hopefully someone will post their solution. Good luck with your sister and her boyfriend-- if you keep being friendly toward him and maybe say nice things about him to her, she should get over it.



peacerunner
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02 Jul 2011, 7:54 am

interestingly, the one thing i liked best about dating an aspie guy was that he instinctively seemed to know the kind of touch I love, He would touch me often during the day. It never felt like a surprise and it was not a nasty light feathery touch but this calm touch. I miss that so much, although I don't miss his crazy fears about the end of the world, or his constantly wanting money from me or his multiple medical imaginary ailments. Also, I am a teacher, and some teachers hug their young students. I never touch them.



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02 Jul 2011, 8:05 am

I just don't get this new trend of all this touchy feely stuff I don't like people suddenly touching me for no reason I usually tense up.



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02 Jul 2011, 8:17 am

Does anyone feel the urge to immediately rub the area where someone has touched you lightly? I think it counterattacks the negative sensory effects of light touch.


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Aprilviolets
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02 Jul 2011, 8:26 am

Aimless wrote:
Does anyone feel the urge to immediately rub the area where someone has touched you lightly? I think it counterattacks the negative sensory effects of light touch.



Yes I usually do that its just a natural reaction when someone touches.



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02 Jul 2011, 8:31 am

Aprilviolets wrote:
Aimless wrote:
Does anyone feel the urge to immediately rub the area where someone has touched you lightly? I think it counterattacks the negative sensory effects of light touch.



Yes I usually do that its just a natural reaction when someone touches.


Do you think it's natural for everyone?


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02 Jul 2011, 8:57 am

My friends tend to warn people automatically and my body language overtly shows my distaste when it comes to touch so any new person I come in contact with generally catches on pretty fast.


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02 Jul 2011, 9:23 am

Rhiannon0828 wrote:
a little "half hug" and a kiss on the cheek when we left


i hate that! i can't seem to do it naturally like other people do and always end up doing something awkward. i try to avoid it sometimes but then it still creates awkwardness when everyone else is hugging and they can sense you're giving out 'er no' signals. It seems to be at girly get togethers it's done most. and it's usually less awkward with men because they are bigger and tend to take the lead in the hug more, whereas with another woman it's more 50/50.
Do i think about these things too much:/.

i need someone to practice non-awkward goodbye hugs with



MyriaJean
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02 Jul 2011, 9:35 am

Aimless wrote:
Does anyone feel the urge to immediately rub the area where someone has touched you lightly? I think it counterattacks the negative sensory effects of light touch.


Yes, it makes the icky tingly/prickly feeling go away. I think it helps the nerves stop freaking out.
I've become more resistant to light touch from using a body brush regularly. It seems to give me reserves against it or something, which is good because my partner of nearly five years still forgets on a daily basis and my two-year-old is as yet unteachable in this regard (thank god for her own sensory issues - she's more likely to smack me than use light touch).



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02 Jul 2011, 11:52 am

Ugh, I hate it when people I don't know/like touch me. My father's mother always does that. She says "I know you don't like being touched." and then proceeds to hug me for like 30 seconds to the point where I'm trying to just get away. And she wonders why I don't like her. Well that's only one of the 5000 reasons...... I really hate it when people kiss me. That's just gross, I barely know them, why would I want their mouth on my face!?!?!?!?



peacerunner
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02 Jul 2011, 12:18 pm

Aimless wrote:
Does anyone feel the urge to immediately rub the area where someone has touched you lightly? I think it counterattacks the negative sensory effects of light touch.


YES!! !
i can't stop myself. it annoys some people.
it tingles there and i have to make that weird prickly tingle go away.

but on the other hand, i crave touch when it is the right kind.

i use a weighted blanket



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02 Jul 2011, 5:37 pm

peacerunner wrote:
Aimless wrote:
Does anyone feel the urge to immediately rub the area where someone has touched you lightly? I think it counterattacks the negative sensory effects of light touch.


YES!! !
i can't stop myself. it annoys some people.
it tingles there and i have to make that weird prickly tingle go away.

but on the other hand, i crave touch when it is the right kind.

i use a weighted blanket

Does a weighted blanket help you sleep through the night? My son is diagnosed with Asperger's (although I mainly talk about my own issues here on WP) and I thought about getting one for him.


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peacerunner
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02 Jul 2011, 5:57 pm

It's weird how the weighted blanket helps. I don't need it every day but when I need it I REALLY need it. I don' t think it helps me fall asleep.
What it does is calms my body so that all those loose nerve endings feel grounded