Do/Did you get along with your mother?

Post Reply New Topic

I love my mum.

My mom died when I was 10.. we got along.

my mother is my best friend. i don't know what i would do if she were not here. (all of her personalities).

We had a lot of problems with each other; she was severely mentally ill (bipolar, we think, though never formally diagnosed or treated). It made my childhood very traumatic.

I think that my siblings all agree that our mother (age 86) was horrible sometimes and fun othertimes. She (I suspect) is undiagnosed AS. I (54 years) am undiagnosed AS. My husband (58) and our son (29) are recently diagnosed. I am guessing that he would say that his childhood was mostly loving and good; teen and younger adulthood were mixed and extremely frustrating for him. Now that we are learning more about AS we are all getting along more. I am really making an effort to change my ways. I always loved him, and appreciate my son more now than ever before.

Nefra, glad things are going as well as they are for you! It gives one some hope.

I love my mom, but at times i can't be near her.
She always helps me when i'm down. She'd do anything to help me in a bind. She accepts my "uniqueness" now and lets me be. She really tries.
Sometimes, though, she can be overwhelming. This was much more evident in the past. She wanted me to try harder to fit in. Be like the other girls. Talk like they did. She thought I was somehow just doing it to spite her. My friends as a kid were usually other outcasts (people my mom didn't usually approve of) but at least they accepted my mannerisms and quirks. I still spent most of my time alone, which to her was as bad as being with the "wrong" kids. my mom thought I should be friends with the popular, pretty girls (which I felt no connection with at all) and so nagged at me constantly.
Later on it was "when are you going to have children?". I knew then that this would not happen but I knew if I didn't say something else, like "maybe one day" she'd get upset or keep questioning me. Now she knows and the questions have stopped.
She has had 33 years to adjust to me, and I think she's doing nicely. She simply accepts me for who I am and that suits me just fine.

That's so good to hear you have a good relationship. My mom and I did finally get things pretty well settled, as much as you can with someone who's largely psychotic, anyway. She died just after turning 80, after a long illness, and I was glad I'd been able to be there for her a lot, and had been able to be open & honest & loving to her. Even at the end, there was a feeling that she was aware of that. It was a great gift.

I wasn't raised by my mother all my life. My aunt did most of the motherly things for me. However, whenever she grounded me she'd send me to the mall. Like come on, the mall for my punishment?? Get real. However, her punishment for me was to be around people and I guess the mall was the best thing that she could come up with. Like really, really bizarre!!

Yes. We are very close.

Yes, she's ver y important to me. I get along with her better than i do with my father who has more aspie ways.and my brother. I get on ok with my sister who is just more confident, not social whirlwindy. Now that i know about asperger's it helps me understand my family more. I think my parents were attracted by similar traits and hobbies, not necessarily appearance, and i'm glad some people have loved me formor than how I look. My mum has a fairly easy- going personality, but still a protective temper, if you canimagine that. She wrote out itineries for all my journeys, did shopping lists every day, bore with my silences, my rages , my indecisions, my joblessness, my mental illness, my lack of a boyfriend till I was 28 (she was not married till 30), my always coming back home, my childlessness, my stubbornness, people regarding me as stupid till I was 13, and evrything else. I will be devastated when i lose her but tryy and be as independant as possible.

Me and my mum really don't get on that well at all. I love her, that doesnt mean she understands though. She has massive go at me all the time, always when i am really stressed anyway.
One time she hit my with sausepan- when this girl from my school was standing there watcing! Got asked loads of questions by the school nurse, but my mum had never hit me with anything before, she had only slapped me previously, and only slapped me since.

Grim,

So sorry to hear about your probs w/ your mother. Are you too young to leave home, or in a situation where you're unable to live by yourself at present?

BTW, I absolutely love your avatar!

I am nearly 20, I think if I moved out I would get depressed and shut myself off from the world. However I do not think I could cope with moving in to a shared house either though, I would probably be so stressed I would confine myself to my bedroom all day anyway.

A good friend made my avatar for me I like it a lot.

my mother is completely unpredictable. I think she has OCPD.

I... actually get along very well with my mother--now that I am a teenager and have been diagnosed. (I was not diagnosed until I was twelve. In retrospect, the diagnosis (which was completely unsuspected, as no one in my family had heard of AS at the time) was a life-saver.) When I was little, we clashed all the time, my mother had no idea why I tended to start getting overstimulated and have meltdowns, and they hadn't quite figured out that I tend to have a lawyer's mind to percieved or implied promises--and did not handle disappointment well. With the experience of me, my youngest sister's childhood looks to be on a much easier path than mine was (she is eleven years younger than me and may or may not be an Aspie herself--she is certainly shaping up to be as difficult a kid to raise as I was).

My mother is not an Aspie, but neither is she bubbly and extremely extroverted, and she understands full well that while I am not a hermit, I like a limited amount of human contact. She tries to get me to take care of my appearance more, but she understands that I am in no way going to become like my sister and turn into a more typical teenager. She supports my interests (although she has made it clear that she usually is either bored or clueless when it comes to my obsessions). She helps me come to terms with my occasional panicky feelings of being overwhelmed, and gives me a sense that I can do whatever I wish. We don't see quite eye-to-eye on some matters, and she certainly isn't perfect (she's as negative as I am in some ways), but I really do admire and respect both her and her style of parenting.