How is it like being a girl with [More girls less boys pls]
I know I am like a guy here invading someone's ladies night on a Wednesday. Afterall this is the woman's discussion. Feels like walking into a female toilet here... -_-V
Alright I am just curious, how is it like being a girl with ASD or Asperger's. For what I know, a girl's social circle discusses different stuff from guys and of course worries about different things from guys. Also if you girls dun mind we might touch into sexuality later but not dive into it.
So how do you as girls with Asperger's or ASD cope with life itself?
As an Aspie girl, I don't have a social life. I don't hang out with schoolmates though I do get along fairly well with a few. But we're not close. It's just the occasional lunch together. I hang out only once or twice a year with old schoolmates. A number of them disucss anime, which I don't care for.
I have no idea how to discuss "girl's stuff." When I talk to my friends it's usually about education, food and teachers. With old friends it's "how are you doing now?" I have social phobia. Mind you those I get along best with discuss meaningful things. A few of us talked about our ideology, education, family, literature. Those were the best years of my social life. Yes, people are more likely to creep into the conversation so it's more "feminine." About interests: I like evolution, genetics and literature. My favourite subject is chemistry. however many girls even the clever ones don't enjoy discussing science or intellectual stuff, even though my friends are the more serious sort.
I sometimes wish I was a guy (even though I'm straight) because they seem to talk about interesting things and jokes. Unlike male aspies, I'm not a tech freak, and I suck at math and physics. I would say the biggest challenge is fitting in and making friends. What are you and your interests as a male aspie like? Feel free to ask about sexuality; we expect tactlessness from a fellow aspie.
Last edited by Villette on 05 Mar 2010, 3:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
I like evolution biology stuff to from an artistic point of view but also from other points of view.
So can I say that Aspie Girls dun get along with NT girls becos of similarly lack of talking points. You just like things different?
Also what do you think of the fact that Most Aspie Girls are not diagnosed, giving the impression that guys carry the gene. And I thought females carry genes too? I inherited my mother's character and straight hair for example.
I don't really chat with girls all that much, I'm much more comfortable talking with the guys. We have more in common and there's less emotional chatter than when talking with girls (at least I find). I don't like gossiping or talking about the latest fashion trends or stuff like that. Give me video games and poking fun at each other anyday I've noticed that at my full time job where I work in IT and there is a bigger population of males, I'm a lot more talkative. At my part time where the females are the majority, I rarely talk to them unless they talk to me first.
For coping with life, I just put on a smile and try to act as politely as I can to anyone that talks to me, even if I don't like them. I figure it's easier to deal with someone if they don't think you have any negative feelings towards them. Right now I think a lot of people think I'm the nicest person at my company...little do they know I don't want nothing to do with them haha. If something has upset me or I feel my anxiety levels going up (like in regards to sensory issues) I usually just leave my desk and go hide in our inventory room for a bit, only a few people can access it and I can pretend to do inventory work if someone finds me in there. Since I'm the person incharge of the room it makes for a great hideout and I can lie about working if I get caught if I'm in a social setting I always try to sit with my back against the wall, it freaks me out when there are people surrounding me. I also always carry around my iPhone, iPod classic and either my ds or psp (along with noise canceling headphones) in case I have no where to escape too when I get anxious. So basically I either take myself away from what's bothering me, or use something to distract myself and block everything else out
haha I have no idea if I answered that question right.....when I first started writing this post I thought it was about something else but didn't want to delete it XD I still don't know if it's right...oh well lol
So can I say that Aspie Girls dun get along with NT girls becos of similarly lack of talking points. You just like things different?
Also what do you think of the fact that Most Aspie Girls are not diagnosed, giving the impression that guys carry the gene. And I thought females carry genes too? I inherited my mother's character and straight hair for example.
Yes, I like different things. Most aspie girls are undiagnosed because they like the things other girls do and are considered as shy girls. Some of them are plain bad at socialising and enjoy reading for example, especially the hyperlexic ones. But some like games and tech. What is common among the aspie girls who do well academically is either they're good at math or have superior verbal skills. In fact a number can read things advanced for their age. They do carry the genes - my dad has some aspie traits. Also they have 2 X chromosomes which lessens the severity. Female aspies are usually better at socialising compared to males, and may come across as advanced, intelligent and serious.
i see you're a fellow bio enthusiast


For coping with life, I just put on a smile and try to act as politely as I can to anyone that talks to me, even if I don't like them. I figure it's easier to deal with someone if they don't think you have any negative feelings towards them. Right now I think a lot of people think I'm the nicest person at my company...little do they know I don't want nothing to do with them haha. If something has upset me or I feel my anxiety levels going up (like in regards to sensory issues) I usually just leave my desk and go hide in our inventory room for a bit, only a few people can access it and I can pretend to do inventory work if someone finds me in there. Since I'm the person incharge of the room it makes for a great hideout and I can lie about working if I get caught


haha I have no idea if I answered that question right.....when I first started writing this post I thought it was about something else but didn't want to delete it XD I still don't know if it's right...oh well lol
i'd like to know how do you get people to talk to you? i mean what attracts them to you?
So can I say that Aspie Girls dun get along with NT girls becos of similarly lack of talking points. You just like things different?
Also what do you think of the fact that Most Aspie Girls are not diagnosed, giving the impression that guys carry the gene. And I thought females carry genes too? I inherited my mother's character and straight hair for example.
Yes, I like different things. Most aspie girls are undiagnosed because they like the things other girls do and are considered as shy girls. Some of them are plain bad at socialising and enjoy reading for example, especially the hyperlexic ones. But some like games and tech. What is common among the aspie girls who do well academically is either they're good at math or have superior verbal skills. In fact a number can read things advanced for their age. They do carry the genes - my dad has some aspie traits. Also they have 2 X chromosomes which lessens the severity. Female aspies are usually better at socialising compared to males, and may come across as advanced, intelligent and serious.
i see you're a fellow bio enthusiast

Underdiagnosed? Oh is it becos of the human sexual dimorphism? Peacocks have exhibit their sexual dimorphism outside but humans have that in the brain right?
Like say Males think along this way and Females think a different way. So can we say that Females have their ASD in a less severe form but males have it full blown? But this has no effect on the probability of having males or females right?
It's an interesting question, but one that feels difficult to answer without having experienced both (which of course I haven't).
I've never been that good at making friends. At school I repeatedly failed for years so used to spend every break and lunchtime reading. At least my English teacher liked me. Later on I managed to get slightly more popular and found myself with a few friends, either the geekier people in my year or people from two years below. I went to an all girls school though. The worst thing people did there really was ignore me and kick me under the table. I know I was probably fairly lucky there. All through uni I didn't really make friends on my course and most of the time I didn't really notice either. As far as I was concerned I was at a lecture to learn, and I had friends in my halls so it just didn't matter. I have noticed I often get on better with guys than girls. They're just easier. A lot of my friends now are geeky roleplayer guys who love to discuss rule systems and character concepts. With girls (especially girly girls) it always feels like however hard I try, I'm just not quite 'there', I just don't quite get it. A non-ASD geeky girl said the same though so maybe it's not an AS thing.
Life in general I completely agree about the back against the wall thing. If I can look and see where all the sounds are coming from, and no one can jolt my chair without me seeing them approach first everything is so much easier.
Villette - evolutionary biology is cool. I've read some Richard Dawkins (The Selfish Gene, The Blind Watchmaker, The Extended Phenotype) although the titles of his more recent books put me off a bit - they often sound like an all out attack on religion instead of a scientific discussion. Have you read any Matt Ridley? He's rather good too. Also, chemistry is awesome - I've just started a phd in it so I'm allowed to be biased.
So can I say that Aspie Girls dun get along with NT girls becos of similarly lack of talking points. You just like things different?
Also what do you think of the fact that Most Aspie Girls are not diagnosed, giving the impression that guys carry the gene. And I thought females carry genes too? I inherited my mother's character and straight hair for example.
Yes, I like different things. Most aspie girls are undiagnosed because they like the things other girls do and are considered as shy girls. Some of them are plain bad at socialising and enjoy reading for example, especially the hyperlexic ones. But some like games and tech. What is common among the aspie girls who do well academically is either they're good at math or have superior verbal skills. In fact a number can read things advanced for their age. They do carry the genes - my dad has some aspie traits. Also they have 2 X chromosomes which lessens the severity. Female aspies are usually better at socialising compared to males, and may come across as advanced, intelligent and serious.
i see you're a fellow bio enthusiast

Underdiagnosed? Oh is it becos of the human sexual dimorphism? Peacocks have exhibit their sexual dimorphism outside but humans have that in the brain right?
Like say Males think along this way and Females think a different way. So can we say that Females have their ASD in a less severe form but males have it full blown? But this has no effect on the probability of having males or females right?
Sexual dimorphism does cause underdiagnosis as feminine social traits which aspie girls do possess to a certain extent mask the symptoms. I'm not qualified to say. But the extra X chromosome it is believed shields females from autistic genes on the other X chromosome. (assuming there are autism genes on the X chromosome.) Males have a Y chromosome which does NOT shield them. So they're more likely to be autistic. But a lot of it is relative. A nerdy guy is less conspicuous than a nerdy girl for example.

I've never been that good at making friends. At school I repeatedly failed for years so used to spend every break and lunchtime reading. At least my English teacher liked me. Later on I managed to get slightly more popular and found myself with a few friends, either the geekier people in my year or people from two years below. I went to an all girls school though. The worst thing people did there really was ignore me and kick me under the table. I know I was probably fairly lucky there. All through uni I didn't really make friends on my course and most of the time I didn't really notice either. As far as I was concerned I was at a lecture to learn, and I had friends in my halls so it just didn't matter. I have noticed I often get on better with guys than girls. They're just easier. A lot of my friends now are geeky roleplayer guys who love to discuss rule systems and character concepts. With girls (especially girly girls) it always feels like however hard I try, I'm just not quite 'there', I just don't quite get it. A non-ASD geeky girl said the same though so maybe it's not an AS thing.
Life in general I completely agree about the back against the wall thing. If I can look and see where all the sounds are coming from, and no one can jolt my chair without me seeing them approach first everything is so much easier.
Villette - evolutionary biology is cool. I've read some Richard Dawkins (The Selfish Gene, The Blind Watchmaker, The Extended Phenotype) although the titles of his more recent books put me off a bit - they often sound like an all out attack on religion instead of a scientific discussion. Have you read any Matt Ridley? He's rather good too. Also, chemistry is awesome - I've just started a phd in it so I'm allowed to be biased.
Hi Gremmie! I'm still in the midst of The Selfish Gene, and I've got an unread copy of The Extended Phenotype. Haven't read Ridley though. What does he cover? Oh, you're a scientist? What does your research involve? Are you a physical chemist or organic chemist?
I can actually talk about 'girly stuff' with other girls. It's probably the only time I can really be involved in a conversation. I used to shy away from talk like 'sex', 'that time of month' or other girly related things, but now I can. I guess I've had a lot of problems in one of those areas so I joined a women's health forum and we talked about it a whole lot. I even went over to the men's health forum and learnt some things.
My interests could be seen as kinda boyish. When I was 10 I was all about toys cars. I even had one of those road map things. Other kids thought it was little kids toys, but I was always a few years behind.
These days I like planes, astronomy and I dress kinda boyish. I find the clothes comfortable.
I don't know why people talk to me. I'm quiet, overly opinionated but still manage to be a nice person.
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so can we assume that most girls with ASDs are ignored becos they either managed to adapt to normal life better than boys? But their interests some of them are quite close to geeks or Otakus in Asia.
Also won't a girls social circle be a bit competitive also? I alway hear normal girls talking about their looks, male celebs.etc Also even though they are less violent, girls way of doing things can be worse. Under the cover of darkness... they do not say that they hate you in the open.
But now lets get slightly sticky..... in the aspect of sex. How is it viewed in Aspies female perspective. My group consisting of all males, they made me understand that the rumor that Autistics dun have sexual interests is really a lie. They like Megan Fox just like most guys would.
Whatabout your ladies... sorry if this topic starts getting sticky.
well other than the passing "hi, how are you today" in the halls, if someone talks to me they usually approached me first. I don't think that I've ever started a conversation with anyone in my lifetime, simply because I just don't care, I can go on with my day without knowing what's going on around me. The only people I talk to on a regular basis always start the conversation and keep it going.
The place I have the most interaction with people is at my full time job where I deal with cellphones and blackberries (it's only a part of my job tho) and instead of getting help with the devices from the help desk (like they're supposed to) the come to me directly. Even though I hate it I try to be polite and I guess that's given them the impression that I'm friendly haha. After that whenever I talk to them again they usually start small talking with me

another way that I seem to get people to talk to me is with all the gadgets i carry with me. Usually someone will see me using one and they'll start asking questions about it, and of course i have to answer (it's one of my social laws that I have to abide by). From there they start engaging me in conversations about techy/gaming stuff cuz they know I like that kinda stuff and I don't mind talking about it

in regards to your question about aspie girls and sex; I can honestly say I haven't had it. Unless your a close friend of mine or a really close family member, then I can't stand someone touching me. It's funny cuz my cousin's kid/ my godson loves to tackle and cuddle and I don't mind it at all. I helped raise him since he was a baby (my cousin is really sickly so I helped out a lot) so I guess I've gotten used to a lot of physical contact with him. But if I get a hug from my mom or dad I usually pull away after a few seconds because I feel uncomfortable. I haven't had a boyfriend yet (probably cuz I don't socialize haha) but it would take awhile for me to get comfortable enough with them to even hold hands and longer still for me to got to bed with him. I'd like to at one day but the guy would have to be really patient with me haha. I have very specific tastes in men as well; at least 5"6, must have some weight on him (stick men are not pretty!), no baby faces and has to have attention grabbing eyes (I hate eye contact but I find vibrant blue or green eyes mesmerizing).
Well ...
1) I always had one very close friend throughout school. In college, I didn't have any close friends, just folks I talked to in class. Now as an adult, I don't have any friends. I eventually say something, without meaning, that offends someone. And then I know I hurt them.
2) I rock at *what* I do at work, but not how I do it. I don't know how to deal with difficult people. Have trouble reading people. And generally get made fun of if I take something literally or don't understand someone's using sarcasm. Most of the times I can laugh at myself; other times it is very embarrassing.
3) I hate girly stuff. I do not want to go shopping with other girls. I hate shopping, in fact, because it is very tough to find clothes that I like that fit well and don't itch, etc.
4) I read book after book after book as a child. My favorite is realistic science fiction. I was OK at math, but didn't do well if I didn't like the teacher. I'm pretty smart and come off as conceited sometimes when I'm only trying to help.
5) I hate light touch, can't stand to be tickled, but otherwise enjoy hugs, etc.
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