Trigger Warning: Fear of rape?

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I don't understand why so many women (aspie or otherwise) would constantly fear rape? I know that, in society, we stupidly encourage this belief that girls have to "watch out" more than boys. However, statistically, boys are more likely to be victims of physical violence*. In my country, more than 40% of domestic violence victims are men:. I'm sure a similar trend happens in other countries.

What puzzles me even more is why so many feminists breed this mentality? I understand that we musn't pretend that violence against women happens, but this truism that I often hear, "Women fear rape everyday of their lives", makes me sick to my stomach. I don't wake up every single day thinking "OMG! Was I date raped?!" or "OMG! He's sitting next to me! Probably wants to rape me!". That's completely irrational! And people try to justify this fear, which is just really sad and pathetic.The only time I might excuse your mentality is if you have PTSD as a result of rape, but surely that is part of the illness?

This sub-forum isn't the place for you to make a thread to criticise women. Maybe you should reference the recently closed thread a little ways down the page where someone made a really similar thread.

Of course it's something to fear. It's something that can happen and it's also something where you need to take precautions otherwise there is a frequent blame the victim mentality that will have people telling you that you should have been more careful or that you were asking for it.

There is victim blaming no matter what.


And apparently AFTER being raped, now I'm allowed to be cautious/fearful as long as I understand it's the result of mental illness resulting from RAPE. Thanks for your permission, OP. Glad you approve. Let's not be concerned until AFTER IT HAPPENS, otherwise we're being stupid irrational women. And even AFTER it happens, only a f*****g mental illness could cause the fear, not a completely reasonable fear because it happened. Either way, nothing we say or do is valid unless we blindly trust all strangers not to be potential threats. Let your guard down, stand alone in alleyways at night, accept all drinks from strange men and for goodness sakes, don't take precautions to avoid sexual assault, that's f*****g irrational.

I seriously am having a hard time not using profanity at this point, this thread is disgusting. I'm just going to get the hell away from WP for a while. Seriously, forget this.

Agreed. GTFO.

I never knew this fear existed. I never have been afraid of getting raped. Worrying about it is like me worrying about if I am going to get murdered or get hit by a car when I am outside walking or fear being mugged when I am out in public.

But my husband worried about me getting raped all the time due to my lack of sense of danger people wise. I dunno if he still worries. I always thought he was worried over nothing.

I remember a time when I had little to no fear walking alone late at night. It can take just one incident to realize how vulnerable you are and how dangerous things can be.

If it's something that hasn't happened to you you might not even think about it but once it does you want to take precautions to lessen the chances of it happening again.

Not smart to try and lay siege into no mans land alone and make such statements even Im not gonna do that Id be eaten alive. Its like having a woman do the same in a mens discussion forum. Thats just me and since im a guy my opinions matter very little here I just know this, women have every right to feel afraid of rape and such because it is a dangerous world out there not every guy is a monster who preys on women however it does not mean a woman should place herself in dangerous situations by trusting men right away.

I once thought a man was going to rape me but he didn't. Another man I met made me do things to him I didn't like and he wanted to do things to me I didn't like. I wasn't raped luckily but I still didn't seem to learn anything. I guess it has to happen to me for real before it sinks in.

I have been sexually assaulted too while I was five months pregnant. I will never let a strange man feel my belly again. I never told my husband about it because I didn't want him to freak out and get worried about me whenever I go out and I fear he may get over protective of me. Plus I was embarrassed about it and felt it was my fault and that I maybe led him on and sent the wrong signals.

It's not criticizing women. It's criticizing a culture that permits the idea that women are weak and men are predators, which to me is a very oppressive attitude. In other words, I'm talking about rape culture.

"There is victim blaming no matter what.



That's not what I said. Thanks for the strawman. What I said was that I understand why somebody might feel that way. What I don't understand is why women are MADE TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE VICTIMS, even though, statistically, we are less likely than our male counterparts to be attacked. It's very unlikely that a woman would be raped by a random stranger, but for a man? Well, he's very likely to be attacked, mugged, killed... yes , guess what? They go out anyway.



No, I didn't say that you should blindly trust everyone. Please don't misrepresent what I'm saying, thank you. You shouldn't just assume that men are all rapists. Is that really how you live your life? Do you honestly spend every moment of it waiting for the day you get raped? That's pathetic and that is rape culture (the rape culture you are soooo against). Sure be cautious, but not because you're a woman, for chrissake! There's a difference between being cautious and being too afraid to live your life.



Y'see? You're perpetuating more rape culture because you are saying that women are the ones that have to be cautious all the time. Right, so men never have to be cautious? As for not excepting drinks from strangers, er, not the same thing as being afraid to walk on the street on your own, regardless of the time of day . Plus, you don't accept drinks or food from strangers, period. I thought that was common sense.

Think of it like this - I check the traffic lights, but I'm not afraid of cars. I don't think a car that is parked is going to suddenly jump up and attack me. I don't think that cars are out there to run me over. Maybe there is such a thing as Schrodinger's hit and run, but I'm not going to let it stop me live my life.

I'm a grown woman. I don't believe in the bloody boogeyman and I don't assume all men could possibly rape me. I assume that all PEOPLE could be a threat, but not just men.



Fine, go because you;re a disgusting person who perpetuates rape culture and real misogyny/misandry.

Maybe that statement isn't meant to be generalised to mean ALL women fear rape. Maybe it was meant to mean certain groups of women. There are parts of the world where rape is indeed a genuine threat, whether you're walking around at night, going during the day to buy groceries or even sitting in the safety of your own home. Granted they're violent parts of the world in general. I think there are other circumstances where the fear is rational too (witnessing the rape trauma of a friend or family member, seeing reports of serial rapists in the local news; there was one who terrorized numerous suburbs in Brisbane for over a year before he was caught)

I don't believe all women constantly fear rape. I think you've just seen one of many feminist campaigns and you've interpreted it too literally.

I agree that both genders are at risk when they're out by themselves, but I sure hope this thread doesn't turn into a debate about which type of assault is worse. That would be shameful.



She's also a recent victim of rape, and one that hasn't been able to use WP as an avenue of support for such due to opinions such as yours.

I don't know if I would use the word fear and I'm definitely no feminist.
I have seen feminists treat men unfairly when it comes to this issue.
But in my experience, they do not "over focus" on rape. I wish they talked more about it.

I live in one of the places with one of the highest rape stats in the world - even though 85% aren't reported in those stats - and yet people here don't speak about it. Not really. Most young women here have no idea about it until someone does, or attempts to do it to them. Most of them are completely unprepared for it and have no way to defend themselves as things like mace are illegal here. None of them are taught how common it is, and that it usually happens from someone you know, nor are they taught what to do to prevent or to afterwards if it does happen.

You have to understand how common this is. At least 1 in 3 women have had someone attempt to rape them in their lives. I suspect the number is really much, much higher. It's different when you have had friends who were raped, when you have been raped, or when you have had someone attempt to rape you. Especially if you have experienced multiple attempted rape multiple times, or have been raped mutliple times.

Aspie women are more vulnerable because we usually fail to read the body language or other things that could warn us of it beforehand.
Normal women have more of a chance because they are more likely to click with what is happening - but that does not mean that are not vulnerable.

There is a culture in the western world that makes it "bad" for a woman to say no - it's a mentality women here are taught to be "agreeable".
I am from a place where women are taught that it is fine to say no - we are allowed to be disagreeable.
But I notice many women here are not comfortable saying no because of their conditioning. Even with basic things like a guy touching them when they don't want him to or him trying to kiss them when they don't want to - they still have a problem saying "no" due to their conditioning - instead they passively resist.

Another factor is that most rapes or attempted rapes happen from someone you know. When your trust has been broken that severly by someone you know, it's very difficult to move past it.
You are slower to react with someone you know - or with someone you trust. You're more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt - often at the worst possible time, because we still like to think the best of people.

The entitlement attitude that allows it to happen is what I find most disconcerning.
That these people think they have a right to somebody elses body.

I don't think that women are weak - nor are the men or children who are subject to it - I think they are simply unprepared for it. And nobody is teaching them how to prepare for it or how to defend themselves. If there were more education on this - in terms of both the thoery and information and the practical site of it - and if we addressed the entitlement attitude that allows it to happen and the conditioning that many people undergo which makes them uncomfortable with saying no - or even speaking about it afterwards - then that might actually go a long way to addressing a serious issue.

A woman fearing rape in this world is totally justified. There are a lot of dangerous people out there on the roads waiting to strike at the right time.

Obviously I can't speak for others but I have to think of such things, otherwise when something happens I'll be caught completely off guard and be unable to respond properly. Just like I have to look both ways before crossing the street to not get hit by a car I need to be cautious about being around men, especially if I'm alone.

Like recently someone asked to take my picture and I was so completely caught off guard that I didn't know what to say and couldn't stop them (I hate getting my picture taken). Thinking about things that can happen ahead of time lets me be prepared and not be delayed in reacting because I need to think about it.

I'm lucky enough to not have actually been raped (I think) but that doesn't mean people never tried and I've had to put up with plenty of sexual harassment too.

A very poor decision, OP, to start a thread here which attempts to generalise rape and minimise a fear of it - which is why this thread is now locked.