first gynecologist appt needed but extreme issues with it

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i'm 24 years old and overweight (with accompanying body image issues) and i have never been to the gynecologist before. but i've been told by my friends that going on birth control mellows out one's period. that is a definite must for me. but i've learned from a past attempt of medical personnel getting beneath my clothes (for an EKG) is not only unsuccessful, but violent as well (i threw a gurney!). i was molested as a child so, it kind og exacerbates my aspie inclination of not being touched. i HAVE been sexually active, i like GIVING oral sex when i'm bored to a couple of my guy friends that i have known since i was 12. but i am absolutely terrified of being touched on any of my "lady bits". i won't even undress in front of another person! i not only want the birth control pills for my period, but i do plan on reproducing in the future and i'm relatively certain that involves my lady bits. haha

any suggestions??

My suggestion is that you not try to drug your menstrual cycle into submission for reasons of health. BC can have some very ugly side effects, and more pharmaceutical remnants in the water supply/soil is the last thing the world needs. However, I cannot suggest more since I don't know what's making your period so awful or what remedies you have tried.

Anyways, why does anyone need to touch you if all you want is a BC prescription?

I had to go to a GYN appointment when I started BC pills, which, by the way, I have to have because my cramps used to be so bad that I would throw up and would HAVE to lay down for a couple of hours in order to have them calm down. I couldn't take the cramps any more.

If you're worried about your appointment, try to have another woman in the room with you if it's a male GYN performing the exam. That's what helped me.

I don't know about that. My cramps were bad, but they all but disappeared (my previously heavy bloodflow also decreased) when I began exercising regularly, and the pain intensity fluctuates quite predictably when I don't workout or don't workout hard enough (light exercise doesn't help much; intense workouts relieve the pain completely).



I would outright demand a female OB-GYN if that is the issue for the OP.

You won't need to have an examination if all you want is birth control.

Oh and by the way, it's nobody's business as to why you're taking it. Don't let anyone question you or make you feel bad about your choice.

I take birth control because I was going 3 to 6 months between periods, and was told that I was at risk for cancer if I didn't have periods on a regular basis.

My experience with birth control is that, while it does make your periods much lighter, you do tend to become more emotional. I've had periods where I cry multiple times a day for the whole week (though I should stress that that doesn't happen on a regular basis for me).

I´d ask from where the threadstarter is coming from. In most european countries you wont get a physical medication, without the doctor checking if it fits you. So just like you wont find any doctor subscribing you a lung-medication without examining your lung, you hardly will fine one, simply giving you another medication, without proofing, if everything is ok and that they can cause no problems for you. At least in my country, if you want an medical anti-conceivement method, you will have to go to a doctor subsribing it, and because of the doctor being responsible for only subscribing it to you, if he has proofen that everything is alright, only non reliable docotrs, would simply subscribe them without any check.

I have no probs with my gyn, and can as well not relate to the woman-threads saying "that a male gyn was like a non driving mechanic", but if you feel better with an female gyn, then care to have one. Maybe you can go as well with an female friend of yours, or a sister or your mum, so that first your friend/relative could do the check done with you being allowed to be with her, and then you doing it afterwards? Mention as well to the gyn, that its your first visit, so that he/she can maybe arrange a meeting with you during a time, that is less stressfull for him, so that he/she has more time to answer you possible question or explain to you what he/she will be doing.

Anyway if for the pill or not, if you are already around 25, and have never been to a gyn yet, you should simply do a regular check. There can be genital warts, cysts, all kind of stuff, that is easily to remove and handle during the first years, but can cause really troubles and even cancer.

As well that the more you go there to have regular checks, the less afraid you will become from time to time. I had an horrible dentist as kid, and did not go anymore to dentists until I was 28. Luckily I had good tooth hygiene, so when I was forced to go there with 28 I had not tooth ruin, but only needed sealings on two teeth. The doctor was luckily very friendly, but the first thing she did after the treatment of those two teeth was to give me (payed by my insurance) regular routine-checks, which had no other causes then to acustom myself to going there and sitting in that chair with her doing stuff in my mouth ^^ and so loosing my panic attacks. It really worked, The first times she needed to tell me laughing, that I please should "crawl out of the chair again" or she would get a bad neck because of me intuitively crocuhing away from her, but this year I even got two wisdom teeths of mine removed without me totally panicking. Without the accustomin before, you would have had to anesthesize me, to get that done. ^^

Hello

I guess it depends on where you live but here in the UK there is no need for an examination before you start taking the contraceptive pill. I can't see how it would be insisted upon here if there are not medical reasons other than period heaviness and pain. These side effects of female-ness are extremely common and here doctors want you out of their office as quickly as possible. I certainly never had a gyn examination of any kind until I had given birth!

If it is the norm where you are I wonder if you could use Aspergers as a reason for not being able to tolerate the examination situation? There are other methods of hormonal contraception of course, which you may like to discuss with a nurse.

I wonder if you could phone the office and ask if they prescribe the pill you want without a physical exam, or if they have a firm policy to check you that way. It's probably easier to deal with it before getting into the office than bringing it up there. You can ask them if it's possible to get the pill without the medical exam, and if they say no, find someone else who can prescribe it to you. It's a waste of both your time and the doctor's time if you get in there, refuse the exam and don't get what you need.

However, if you are in there, willing to try to get the exam, and have a bad feeling about it, like that you think the doctor isn't understanding, you have a right to end the physical exam at any time you are uncomfortable with any of it at any time.

When I was pregnant, I had to search far and wide to find someone who would provide the prenatal care I wanted without insisting on ... you know, all that groping and stuff. I hope you find someone as understanding as I did, someone who can give you the medical care you need while understanding your needs.