What is it like to be a woman?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm just curious about it, I notice guys staring at you(basically your whole body) everywhere, on the streets, through car windows, shopping malls, etc, and also they flirt, chase, compliment, try to get your number, and talk about you a lot... particularly if you have sex appeal. Now how does it make you feel ? what does it feel do be a female?

Depends on the girl. Some girls like it and some hate it.

I'm one of the girls who hate it. I hate feeling like prey - and that is definitely how I feel most of the time. It can really weird you the hell out when it is a 70 year old dude staring at you, or when people cat call from cars etc. and mostly when they talk about you, even acquaintances who know you, it's in a pretty disgusting and derogatory way.

Some girls enjoy the admiration and attention. Probably most NT women feel a bit better about it on average than aspie girls because they figure out ways to deal with it.

If such things happen, it reminds me of chimps. O_o I have neither been in that "you are expected to be aware of flirts everywhere. If I go to a shopping mall, it is because I need to buy a certain item, and not because I am interested in flirting. Same goes for supermarkets, streets, ... I n my whole life I have not planned to go now down a street in the hope of strangers talking to me.

Doesnt mean that I am not aware, that woman can be happy about that. Maybe its simply because I rather dislike it, if my plannings get disturbed, but when I am into grocery shopping, then I fully focus on that, and feel rather annoyed by an disturbance, anyway if positive or negative. As well I dont notice people that much, so its often a surprise to me, when other people do so.

Just when my mom in law gossiped about people wearing jogging trousers in supermarkets... I simply whondered, because as long as you dont wear rainbow coloured hair and a coconut-straw skirt and stand right in front of me, the last thing on earth i´d mention in supermarkets is peoples clothing, because of that of no importancy for the task of "buying groceries".

I don't define myself according to what or whom men choose to look at.

To be honest, I find the idea that women are somehow defined by men to be creepy. Women are not objects - we are independent, autonomous human beings, with our own thoughts, feelings and actions.

That doesn't happen to me much anymore because I've changed my appearance, but, when it did happen, or when it happens to others, I felt/feel disgusted, enraged at my inability to stop it, and frustrated that other free women continue to go the trouble to dress, groom and comport themselves in ways that men basically invented for their own titillation, and then see me as the enemy if I suggest that they do otherwise.

I can't say that I have many feelings about being a female, because being a female just means having the machinery to carry and give birth to children, and I don't really think about that much or have anything to do with it (although I do find conception, pregnancy and childbirth shocking and disgusting).

I'm pretty sure there's more to being female than dealing with males eyes and advances.

It makes me feel like an object, and not in a good way. Nobody cares about me, who I am, what I like or don't like, what I think about things and why. If they ask about such stuff it's only as a ruse to get in my pants. Or so it seems. Recently a colleague of mine asked me what my real hair colour was like and looked me up and down, clearly trying to picture me naked. That made me feel like I didn't matter, like my feelings didn't matter and like I was just an animated blow up doll. It wasn't a nice feeling at all.

It makes me so sad to read that so many women are made to feel that way. It makes me feel ashamed to be a man.

But I know I can only be responsible for how I treat others; I can't control what everyone else does.

Oh, that's just crazy talk.

It's not something I have to worry about, I never get any attention from guys.

I thought I hated being a woman, but really I just hated being me.

Exactly. You shouldn't be ashamed because of the actions of others.

Hard work I imagine having to play dress ups and all that . I can be a slob with tomatoe sauce stains on my white tea shirt and nobody cares !

Thank you, Who_Am_I. I used to constantly assume that if someone else did something wrong, it was somehow my fault. Learning about Asperger's has helped me to understand why I was so sensitive, and now I am trying to learn to take responsibility for only my own actions. So thank you for reinforcing that good advice.

And what does it or you have to do with my question?

it was scary when I was younger, particularly once when I was about 16 and this middle-aged guy followed me for about 20 minutes as I was walking my dog in the park. I didn't understand that I didn't have to treat him as respectfully as I treated my teachers or the parents of friends, so I didn't tell him to go away; he took that as encouragement, and followed until I fled into a supermarket (with my dog). At the time, I wore baggy clothing and sports bras to try to hide my shape, and never wore makeup or did my hair. I didn't stop that practice until my mid to late 20's, when I started to feel more like I could defend myself if someone attacked me.

Now that I'm older and have a grey streak, I'm apparently at a nice balance of 'attractive enough to treat like a human being' and 'not so attractive that I need to harass her.'