Page 1 of 2 [ 19 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next


Do you like being a woman?
Poll ended at 08 Dec 2013, 4:31 am
I love it. 25%  25%  [ 4 ]
No. 75%  75%  [ 12 ]
Total votes : 16

TheLoner
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 10
Location:

07 Nov 2013, 4:25 am

I'm just curious about it, I notice guys staring at you(basically your whole body) everywhere, on the streets, through car windows, shopping malls, etc, and also they flirt, chase, compliment, try to get your number, and talk about you a lot... particularly if you have sex appeal. Now how does it make you feel ? what does it feel do be a female?


_________________
Me against the world


Kjas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,181
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore

07 Nov 2013, 4:41 am

Depends on the girl. Some girls like it and some hate it.

I'm one of the girls who hate it. I hate feeling like prey - and that is definitely how I feel most of the time. It can really weird you the hell out when it is a 70 year old dude staring at you, or when people cat call from cars etc. and mostly when they talk about you, even acquaintances who know you, it's in a pretty disgusting and derogatory way.

Some girls enjoy the admiration and attention. Probably most NT women feel a bit better about it on average than aspie girls because they figure out ways to deal with it.


_________________
Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html


Schneekugel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,944

07 Nov 2013, 5:16 am

TheLoner wrote:
I'm just curious about it, I notice guys staring at you(basically your whole body) everywhere, on the streets, through car windows, shopping malls, etc, and also they flirt, chase, compliment, try to get your number, and talk about you a lot... particularly if you have sex appeal. Now how does it make you feel ? what does it feel do be a female?


If such things happen, it reminds me of chimps. O_o I have neither been in that "you are expected to be aware of flirts everywhere. If I go to a shopping mall, it is because I need to buy a certain item, and not because I am interested in flirting. Same goes for supermarkets, streets, ... I n my whole life I have not planned to go now down a street in the hope of strangers talking to me.

Doesnt mean that I am not aware, that woman can be happy about that. Maybe its simply because I rather dislike it, if my plannings get disturbed, but when I am into grocery shopping, then I fully focus on that, and feel rather annoyed by an disturbance, anyway if positive or negative. As well I dont notice people that much, so its often a surprise to me, when other people do so.

Just when my mom in law gossiped about people wearing jogging trousers in supermarkets... I simply whondered, because as long as you dont wear rainbow coloured hair and a coconut-straw skirt and stand right in front of me, the last thing on earth i´d mention in supermarkets is peoples clothing, because of that of no importancy for the task of "buying groceries".



Marcia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,218

07 Nov 2013, 5:35 am

I don't define myself according to what or whom men choose to look at.

To be honest, I find the idea that women are somehow defined by men to be creepy. Women are not objects - we are independent, autonomous human beings, with our own thoughts, feelings and actions.



starkid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,158
Location: California

07 Nov 2013, 5:40 am

TheLoner wrote:
I'm just curious about it, I notice guys staring at you(basically your whole body) everywhere, on the streets, through car windows, shopping malls, etc, and also they flirt, chase, compliment, try to get your number, and talk about you a lot... particularly if you have sex appeal. Now how does it make you feel ? what does it feel do be a female?


That doesn't happen to me much anymore because I've changed my appearance, but, when it did happen, or when it happens to others, I felt/feel disgusted, enraged at my inability to stop it, and frustrated that other free women continue to go the trouble to dress, groom and comport themselves in ways that men basically invented for their own titillation, and then see me as the enemy if I suggest that they do otherwise.

I can't say that I have many feelings about being a female, because being a female just means having the machinery to carry and give birth to children, and I don't really think about that much or have anything to do with it (although I do find conception, pregnancy and childbirth shocking and disgusting).


_________________
Assume nothing; question everything.
DX Central Auditory Processing Deficit
+ Hyperacusis


blue_bean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,876
Location: Behind the wheel

07 Nov 2013, 7:12 am

I'm pretty sure there's more to being female than dealing with males eyes and advances.



leafplant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2013
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,222

07 Nov 2013, 8:37 am

TheLoner wrote:
I'm just curious about it, I notice guys staring at you(basically your whole body) everywhere, on the streets, through car windows, shopping malls, etc, and also they flirt, chase, compliment, try to get your number, and talk about you a lot... particularly if you have sex appeal. Now how does it make you feel ? what does it feel do be a female?


It makes me feel like an object, and not in a good way. Nobody cares about me, who I am, what I like or don't like, what I think about things and why. If they ask about such stuff it's only as a ruse to get in my pants. Or so it seems. Recently a colleague of mine asked me what my real hair colour was like and looked me up and down, clearly trying to picture me naked. That made me feel like I didn't matter, like my feelings didn't matter and like I was just an animated blow up doll. It wasn't a nice feeling at all.



bicentennialman
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 239

07 Nov 2013, 12:25 pm

It makes me so sad to read that so many women are made to feel that way. It makes me feel ashamed to be a man. :(

But I know I can only be responsible for how I treat others; I can't control what everyone else does.



blueroses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,047
Location: Lancaster, PA

07 Nov 2013, 12:38 pm

blue_bean wrote:
I'm pretty sure there's more to being female than dealing with males eyes and advances.


Oh, that's just crazy talk. :)



InnaLucia
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 29 Feb 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 227
Location: North east england.

07 Nov 2013, 4:10 pm

It's not something I have to worry about, I never get any attention from guys.



puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,246
Location: Cottonopolis

07 Nov 2013, 6:05 pm

I thought I hated being a woman, but really I just hated being me.


_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.


Who_Am_I
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,096
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D

07 Nov 2013, 7:58 pm

bicentennialman wrote:
It makes me so sad to read that so many women are made to feel that way. It makes me feel ashamed to be a man. :(

But I know I can only be responsible for how I treat others; I can't control what everyone else does.


Exactly. You shouldn't be ashamed because of the actions of others.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


aussiebloke
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Oct 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,932

07 Nov 2013, 10:32 pm

Hard work I imagine having to play dress ups and all that . I can be a slob with tomatoe sauce stains on my white tea shirt and nobody cares !


_________________
Theirs a subset of America, adult males who are forgoing ambition ,sex , money ,love ,adventure to sit in a darkened rooms mastering video games - Suicide Bob


bicentennialman
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 239

07 Nov 2013, 10:59 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Exactly. You shouldn't be ashamed because of the actions of others.


Thank you, Who_Am_I. I used to constantly assume that if someone else did something wrong, it was somehow my fault. Learning about Asperger's has helped me to understand why I was so sensitive, and now I am trying to learn to take responsibility for only my own actions. So thank you for reinforcing that good advice. :)



TheLoner
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 10
Location:

07 Nov 2013, 11:45 pm

bicentennialman wrote:
It makes me so sad to read that so many women are made to feel that way. It makes me feel ashamed to be a man. :(

But I know I can only be responsible for how I treat others; I can't control what everyone else does.

And what does it or you have to do with my question?


_________________
Me against the world