Childbirth experiences

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I´d like to hear of your "giving birth" experiences. Actually, I am still three months away from it, but already need to announce an hospital to my doctor and insurance.

Because of my issues, I would like to give birth at home, but its very far to the next hospital with a nurse-station, so if something bad happened, the way would be too long.

Specific question I have are:

1) Did you mention your issues to the hospital employees? If yes, how did they react? If no, did you do bad experiences because of that?

2) How did you get along, with the situation of people being around you most of the time, during that stressful situation of birth? (I have been in hospital before, but actually not in enduring stressfull situations. So got in, got unconciousnes, wake up and rested for a week, with the only disturbance being an daily check.)

3) Did you leave the hospital after birth or did you stay a few days? If you stayed, what were your experiences with it?

4) Did you have any probs to recognize, when your "giving birth" started? So I seem to sense physical signals wrong, so appendicitis was for me only a nagging bumping hurt in the belly (which should have been according to doctors a very clear "sharp" pain instead), as well that I actually broke fingers of mine, without recognizing it until the swelling got away, and it was visual obvious. So I am actually afraid that I might "miss" the right signs of my birth starting, specially when midwife and books telling, that there is tons of stuff, that can be mismentioned for it.

5) How did you deal with the unavoidable family visits? I already told my partner, that the last thing on earth I need, is 20 relatives waiting in the hospital and pressuring me to "get ready with it", and answered his response that "they naturally would like to the kid immediately" with that it will be as well available the next day. Did you dare telling your family, that you would appreciate it, if they would not come the days afterwards all at once, but in smaller groups?

It was meant to be a home birth for me. The midwife that came to my home was sweet. She inherently picked up on my peculiarities. When my waters broke they were stained and the midwife told me I should have a hospital birth as it was more than her job was worth to allow a home birth from that point onwards. I had come to respect her over the few visits so I agreed and an ambulance was called.

The ambulance men were great. Again, they allowed for my peculiarities.

1) Hospital employees were a different story. After I had left the ambulance they had switched gas bottles. The new one I had been given was not working. I told them and they basically didn't believe me. Told them again and they disagreed again. I ended up throwing it in a corner. Am ambulance man picked it up and checked it proper. And it didn't work! Got given a new one after that.

2) My partner stayed with me which allowed me to focus on someone I knew.

3) DD's Agpar was 9. They told me her temp was too low at 36.7. I pointed out to them that was my normal body temp. and I would not expect her to be any warmer. They suggested I go on the mother and baby unit with the other happy mothers but I refused. I stayed in the delivery room with DD close to me and managed to get her to temperature by holding her for close to 3 hours. After that they made me sign a disclaimer and allowed me home.

4) There was a point at home when I told the midwife that I had been having contractions for a while. She said it was early but I managed to get her to check my dilation and she was surprised I already had 3 cm. I got my gas bottle after that.

5) Not applicable in so far that I had very little contact with my side of the family. Had a good core of friends at the time and the word sort of spread through the grapevine that little guzzle had been born. Sort of retired from the world from 6 weeks and after that went parading my DD about town so to speak. Is also when mr. guzzle's family met DD for the first time.

1) giving birth is an intense experience, I would think you'll be caught up in and sometimes people get weird ideas so I wouldn't mention, unless you're there a long time. People will do things to make you comfortable, or not, just for asking. And it's in your medical record for professionals.

2) giving birth was too intense to much care, and most of the time, it was just me and my husband or one nurse or doctor speaking at a time, or the professionals spoke to each other. They were very good about not making a lot of demands or talking at once, introducing themselves, and explaining.

3) I left the next day. I felt extremely anxious after delivery being in the hospital, was glad to leave. The unfamiliarity that was irrelevant during delivery was hard once the baby was born.

4) look for your water breaking, it's more subtle sometimes then in movies. But helps you know.

5) in the hospital they have limits on visitors. At home, all I can suggest is that you nurse, generously and often. And announce you've been advised as a new first time mom that you need calm and quiet during nursing (you do, when you're just starting) retreat to a quiet location and gaze into your newborns eyes when things get much. Avoid getting cranky, it's ok to cry though if you need, and people generally will get the message and speak quietly, calmly, and kindly.

Congratulations! I hope this is a wonderful time for you. And I really did find that though my experience was perhaps a bit different than a more NT woman would have, overall, one of the times in my life I could be myself and if not be understood, at least accepted more so. I found, too, that because there is more transparency in how we speak to very young children, people made more sense, as they tended towards greater honesty and kindness with an infant present.

I wish you a safe delivery and hope this is a wonderful time, and a healthy mother and baby!!

I have two children.

1) I have never given birth in a hospital (but did stay in one after one birth). I much preferred not to. More than that, I wanted to have more control over my surroundings (or, that was the plan ). Like another poster said, they will generally want to make you feel comfortable. The desire to be alone or not be touched is not uncommon in laboring women. I personally wouldn't mention an ASD diagnosis because many health professionals are not all that informed about them. Instead, say what you specifically need (lowered voices, etc.).

2) I told people to go away.

3) My first was born in an unusual place. Sort of like a home birth, but across a state line where it was legal, in someone else's home. That experience doesn't seem relevant to your scenario. After my second, we were asked to stay at the hospital for 48 hours. At first, I was very upset about staying (we were both healthy and the birth didn't happen at the hospital). Once I relaxed, I actually enjoyed all the people doing things for us. The sensory interruptions weren't unbearable and they were predictable.

4) Maybe. My second was born in the car. I was only sure I was in labor for about 20 minutes. With that said, it was a very peaceful labor and great experience.

5) I told people to stay away. Then the baby came and I ended up feeling more okay with people being around than I anticipated, so we invited them in more.

Oh, and my experience with ambulance personnel was also very positive.

There were all overly accommodating and so nice. They were the most congratulatory of any one we saw.

This makes sense as I hear that they mostly see trauma and sad occasions, but are fully trained in out of hospital birth and have life support equipment (the ambulance didn't make it for mine, instead about a minute after she was born). I can see how this group might be particularly overjoyed with birth.

I had both of my kids in hospital. Labor with one for close to 40 hours, the second one was an emergency c-section. Both times I knew- my water broke with my first one (when you're randomly drenched in water, you know something's up), and with my second one, I knew what contractions felt like, having had them with my first.

I loved that hospital. The staff were fantastic. My husband and I met with the nursing staff when I was @ 7 months pregnant. We had our wishes put down in writing, and those requests were honored. There was no craziness - it was just me, my husband and the staff. Even when I had the c-section, while it was stressful, a nurse or doctor explained what was going on the entire time.

The maternity ward was very secure - the door to the ward was locked at all times, and no one besides the staff came on the floor without permission of the parents. My husband's family lived in the area, and we told them well before I went into labor that we would call them when we were ready for visitors. We scheduled them, too, so I didn't have an army of in-laws to deal with. Had they shown up at the hospital without my permission, security would have removed them.

I ended up staying for a few days with both kids - my older one had jaundice, and it's protocol after a c-section to stay for a few days. Again, the staff were wonderful. I never had too many people in the room, and I had help when I asked for it. Not keen on having more kids, but if I did and still lived in that area, I'd go back to that hospital in a heartbeat.

I don't/didn't have any particular issues (it's my son who has the Asperger's diagnosis). However, I do have real problems with people snoring and the two nights I spent on a ward with other women before I gave birth were very difficult because one woman in particular snored very loudly. I ended up spending the first night in hospital roaming around, before I found a reclining chair in some kind of family room and I slept there. For the second night I had ear plugs and the snoring woman had gone to give birth.

Where I am, the hospital staff work with you beforehand to work out a "birth plan" which is, as far as possible, intended to meet your wishes. So there were discussions about pain relief - did I want it, what did I want, when would I want it, how would I want it administered etc. Did I want to give to spend my labour in a pool of water, on the floor with mats and cushions etc? Who did I want to be with me as a birthing partner - husband, friend etc? I was also given the option of requesting a room to myself after the birth, but that would depend on a single room being available.

As I had never had a baby before, I found it all a bit overwhelming to be given all these choices, and I said that I would prefer that the medical staff discussed options with me as the labour progressed, given they were the ones with the experience and knowledge. I did say that I would like to be able to move around as much as possible during labour and have pain relief only as needed.

All of that became irrelevant though, as ante-natal scans revealed that my son had stopped growing at about 34-35 weeks gestation, so I was admitted early - had steroid injections the two days beforehand to strengthen his lungs, then had labour induced. That meant I had monitors attached to my hand and around my middle, and was confined to a bed for the duration of labour - which was only about 6 hours.



The hospital were aware that it is stressful for women to have people around them all the time during labour, so most of the time it was just the one midwife who was there, and my husband. Other people came in from time to time to check on progress, but they were as unobtrusive as they could be. Because the baby was small and premature, there was a team of people there at the birth itself, and I was advised in advance of who would be there, and what they would be doing. They only came into the room a few minutes before the actual delivery - the midwife must have summoned them when it became apparent that the baby was coming.



Because my son was low-birth weight, and had other problems including difficulties feeding (early signs of autism?) he was taken to the Special Care Baby Unit shortly after birth. I stayed in the hospital with him, and was given a single room as I didn't want to go back to the ward and be sharing a space with mothers who had their babies with them. I spent most of my time in the SCBU with my son. We were in the hospital for almost a month after the birth. It was mostly ok - it was quite traumatic, looking back, but at the time I just got on with it. Reality continues outside the ward, outside the hospital, and I existed in a bit of a bubble.

Being in the hospital for so long with him, meant that by the time I got home I had a routine established and knew what I was doing. The hospital have a flat/appartment in the SCBU and before you go home you spend a couple of nights there on your own with the baby, but with people on hand to help out if need be. That doesn't apply to "normal" births though.

Many mothers I know prefer to get home sooner rather than later, and I know of some who are home within 24 hours of giving birth. If you end up back on a ward, instead of a single room, you can't get any sleep because the babies are there with you, and there's always at least one baby crying, and lots of other noise and disruption. And, it's not your own place.



I didn't go into labour naturally, so I don't know what the signs would be. You should definitely tell the doctors that you have sensory issues which mean that you may not feel the usual sensations. They may need to monitor you, maybe from three weeks before your due date. Depending on how it works where you live, that might mean you going to a clinic so they can check your cervix to see if it is starting to dilate, or to look for other signs. Another reason for telling them is to ensure that if there are any problems after birth then they know to look for signs. My aunt's appendix burst because she had no pain to let her know that she had appendicitis, and after the birth of her first child she had post-partem haemorrhaging because some of the placenta had remained in her uterus. There may not be a connection between those two things though, but worth mentioning to the doctors.



I have a small family so didn't have that problem, but I would think that most people understand that new mothers need time to themselves, just to be with their baby. Also, the hospital I was in discouraged large groups of visitors - usually only two at a time, and if children were to visit, then only the brothers and sisters of the baby, and for short times.

I hope all goes well, and that you have a good experience.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.