How do you advocate for your needs in a medical setting?

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I think I've mentioned this on one of the other threads before, but I thought it'd be good to hear if anyone else has advice on this.

My partner wants biological children but I have had some very, very bad experiences as a child in hospitals so I've got a crazy intense phobia of needles, wounds, nurses, hospitals, you name it. I've become so wound up about having a baby, I'm having panic attacks and crying jags about five to six times a day, nightmares every night, went from anxiety meds once every few months to needing it every single day. I tried asking my doctor who is an OB-GYN for information to prepare but he says that he doesn't know much except for when I get into the operating theater. He suggested that I should just relax, get pregnant and see what happens from there but I can't do that.

My psychiatrist and OB-GYN both agree that after the first trimester and considering that things will most likely only escalate in the hospital, they have no problems with mild sedation because they feel the benefits outweigh the risks. They also agreed that after giving birth, it's best that I remain sedated through the stay and it doesn't bother me because my partner is more excited about the baby than I am. But I'm worried the nurses and the other doctors in the hospitals won't follow their directives. I have absolutely no idea how to ask the hospital for information so I can try and preempt myself or how I should check with the hospital whether they are willing to follow what my psych and OB-GYN say we should do. We have this REALLY weird system of healthcare here where your specialist doctors' directions can be written down but nurses and the on-call doctors can just disregard them if they feel like it. A friend who was a nurse told me to just call the hospital up, ask to meet the head sister in person (they don't tell you anything over the phone) and check with her but just the idea of having to meet someone terrifies the crap out of me and I'm afraid I may be rude because I still think all nurses are evil.

write out what you want to say and practice it ahead of time with someone you trust. get their feed back and rewrite. practice again until you feel comfortable.